On April 6th, the Los Angeles Times reported that there has been more than five hundred aftershocks since last Sunday's 7.2 earthquake rocked Mexicali, San Diego and LA. Ironically, I have felt not even one of these physical tremors. Fortunately, this is not due to a lack of awareness. Rather, it has everything to do with the fact that my small world is being continuously rocked by meta-physical, earth-shaking on-goings in the many microcosms that ripple out around me. The tumult of the transformation that our civilization and human race is now deeply mired within is palpable. Change is here. It is rocking us, shaking our foundations, rattling us to the core and merely demonstrating what the near future has in store. The Chinese New Year of the Tiger was predicted to bring with it this global and personal turbulence. Yes, "the shift" is here and it is happening now, as we speak and as I type.
Along with Easter Sunday's earthquake, came the return of two very important relationships in my personal life. I was invited to spend time with Power and Sweet Pea, two black Labradors that my ex-boyfriend and I shared together, after I randomly ran into my ex while heading over to the Hillcrest Farmer's Market. Over the course of this past week, I have taken advantage of the opportunity to stop by his home and take our two dogs on a leashed walk around their Clairemont neighborhood. Initially, the dogs and I were ecstatic to see each other (which is why the three of us completely missed experiencing the 7.2 earthquake, for we were just stepping outside for a walk together) after a three-month absence.
It was a brief honeymoon phase in which negotiating and navigating around the suburban streets was relatively pain-free and easy. By this I simply mean that Power and Sweet Pea have enjoyed a very charmed life that has included almost daily, leash-free strolls at either OB's Dog Beach or at Fiesta Island. Power and Sweet Pea are two phenomenal creatures fiercely devoted to our pack. However, when it comes to the task of walking together, with the two of them (which, together, equals roughly 150 pounds!) on one end of a rope and I on the other, it can quickly become a frustrating stroll. Three thinking beings, all with minds of their own, attached by a string. (How would you manage?)
Granted, I will take responsibility for the fact that I have not had the discipline to train them, or myself, on how to walk and think as one organism together. Rather, I have always opted for the easy way out which was, and is, allowing everyone to do their own thing at accommodating locations. The drive to these locations, however, is not the most Earth-friendly and sustainable option. Hence, my move out of their abode was the motivating impetus I needed to learn how to walk with them, on the leash and around the neighborhood.
By Friday, though, the high of our reunion had worn off and the work of relating was rearing its head. I felt my frustration brewing along with the desire to yank on their chain when I was either being pulled in a direction that I did not want to go or when they were not understanding my English. I breathed in, felt the pangs of anger arising and, yet, I chose not to respond from it. Instead, I tried to both feel what I was feeling and not respond from this place but, rather, from a place of compassion. After all, I do not understand or speak 'Doglish.' I sincerely tried, and in my trying I realized a wonderful insight.
In pondering the significance of randomly running into my ex on Easter Sunday, I immediately recognized the significance ~ the renewal, rebirth & re-arising of relationships, as well as another opportunity to learn and grow. I chose to integrate the metaphor of Jesus Christ ('tis the season, after all) and some of the stories that are associated with this man into my day-to-day life over this past week. As the days progressed and as I was being challenged in regards to a number of other relationships in my life, I understood...
this is the cross that we all must bear.
This job of being human and of trying to move from a continued place of deep empathy and love.
This delicate dance of attempting to authentically and with an open heart respond from a place of compassion and peace. This trying, on-going negotiation of relating isn't easy. It is difficult and it is hard. It is uncomfortable and it requires much compromise.
An open palmed honesty can bring the thorny cuts of truth and a historical desire to crucify quickly rears its head. It is this place where all of the elements and the cardinal directions meet. It is where Mother Earth and Father Sky reach across the seemingly great divide of duality and copulate. It is at this place, at this CROSS, where the merge results in a breathing, heart beating entity known as human, as me, as you and as this great journey we call life.
May we all harness the graceful prowess, the steady fearlessness and the fierce loyalty that the Tiger reminds us of as we face what lies ahead, together.
Yours in this mystical, infinite dance...
