resurrection

Revival.

Like a ball and chain, our stuff weighs us down,
tied tight around one's ankles, it mars our movement forward.
One lurching step after another, our ease and grace becomes a lumbering task. 
Today, however, it has all been given away.
The reminders of a Prosperity Hive.  The ties to old relationships.
The past now being put properly in its place.

Now, a fire awaits, to burn through
the years of writing,
pounds of paper, fading photographs, mementos
of a me I once was, someone who no longer exists.
Transmuting all that was into a fiery pit, the

glowing embers of transformation consuming
what will never bee again.  In the morning, as I climb a
local mountain to ring in the dawn of an Easter sunrise,
a Phoenix will rise from the ashes.  

Still, this death is a tough pill to swallow, yet coming from the lips of a sweet
sister who has always accepted me for where I am,
"You are lighter, Cara," she said last night.
"Even your writing is reflecting this."
And, I RECEIVE.
I RECEIVE.

anniversary party

Last night, we celebrated
life

which is what we do here in San Diego -
simply celebrate what is.

I said to my brother Dom while at the Soul Food Sessions
at Mama Tam's fine Thai food establishment in Normal Heights last night -
a successful event that sistar Gina rooted into our local mythology -
that I've surrendered to the wisdom that this is it
and not only is it perfect but it's everything I've ever wanted.
"Yeah," he said, "I know what you mean - I get to live this."  

As I moved around the unfamiliar terrain as though I owned the joint,
I noticed how much my social capital affects the way I am perceived.
Yet, I don't need anyone's attention to feel the LOVE that stirs deep in my bee-ing.
As Brother V. said to his newest ingenue, "This One is a Special Soul."
And, last night, as I lay waiting for sleep to come - too keyed up from the evening
that had transpired to immediately melt into bed - I wondered what would happen if
I actually beelieved that I am exactly that.  (Let's try it!)

Having cut the cord, once more, on the most destructive relationships that I have known in this lifetime, I am feeling more grounded and thus less confused about my movement forward.  There are some relationships that simply need to bee redefined.  I will let time reveal all.

Today, a pyschic at Lady of the Lake confirmed what I've been feeling:
"You were a sound healer in Hathor's temple in ancient Egypt," he told me, indicating that my Spirit Guides wanted me to know this information.  I didn't pay him for his services.  He is a colleague, so he gave this information to me free of charge. 

Last night, after performing my "I've Got Curves" piece, with brother V. on electric guitar (whose band is, of course, named 'Soul Ablaze'), I shared that it was exactly one year to the day since I was bitten by a rattlesnake. 

A full moon,  a serpent's tale, and an evening celebrating the continued unfolding of our shared destiny - a beeautiful journey from i to we and full of Soul.  Now, it's on to teach Kontact Improv at DanceJam! because my roots always need to bee watered.  

bitten ~

It's an anniversary of sorts.
One year ago today.
A fateful bite from the Universe.
Two creatures whose destiny is forever entwined.
I wonder where my snake is today.
Is she sill sliding along a Calaveras Preserve?
Or, has he returned to Source with my life blood
and essence no longer pumping through it?
22 vials of anti-venom.
One year ago today.
And, recently, I find myself still integrating the medicine
that fateful day produced.
Four powerful weeks of rejuvenate healing when
insights regarding the imbalances of the masculine and feminine
hit me like a ton of bricks as I lay, recuperating, in a bathtub.
Only, I climbed high, quickly, up a healing ladder, only to crash and fall
down the other side.  So I've spent the past year perpetuating these same imbalances.
And, perhaps, repeating the mis-steps that led my leg to that serpent's mouth.
Yet, there isn't any blame, nor shame and guilt either.
It just is.
Kind of like this life.
This morning, I was dreaming about walking along winding hillsides
where birds of prey swooped and dove, and ran along beside me,
with fresh catches in their mouths.
And, I remember POWER.

notes from a dance floor (take #78908765b)

This is one of my favorite tales to tell. 
It involves myself and a brother.  He's an odd one, this One, yet I have danced with him for years and, thus, space and time has bound us.  He is my community - no matter how strange his thoughts or weird his actions.  Years ago, I found him on a silent dance floor, his body held prisoner to his schizophrenic mind.  He was pacing back and forth, wordlessly chattering with invisible frequencies as the rest of the studio ebbed and swayed with bodies free and spirits in motion.  In observing him, I did not judge or analyze, I simply responded.  I sashayed up to him, stood right in front of his dull gaze and implored with my whole bee-ing that he ground, down into the Earth.  I opened my strong legs wide, pounding the floor with my feet, and non-verbally asked that he joined me.  I made a grunting sound that emanated from the pits of my gut.  I was ferocious in my attempts at bringing him back into this present moment, now, and he followed my lead.  Soon, he was back in his body, out of his debilitating mind, and reveling in life lived as a large, singular entity - no longer just a lone individual to be lost in the crowd.  I recall, after this experience, reflecting back and telling myself that I simply did what needed to be done.  There was no heroism in my actions - as a community member, seeing to the well bee-ing of our collective wholeness is my responsibility.  Period.
A few months later, I discovered him, once more, lost to the unreality of life lived inside of our minds.  Again, he was pacing back and forth, muttering silent thoughts.  This time, however, I whined to myself, "It's not my job." I thought I could ignore his pain and blame him for it - but this has never been who I am.  So, once more, I sauntered up to him, this time using words, sound and movement.  "Where are you?" I asked, as I cajoled him to join us in innocence and joy where real life and meaning unfold - time after time again.  There's nothing more.

here, now

"Maybee, this is it," I say to A. as we sit on a mid-day University Avenue where cars lurch by and the people stroll on a warm, spring day.  Not quite thirty and still filled with the rebellion that seems to mark an artist's journey, he fights against the notion.  "Really," I press, "perhaps, this is it," and I demonstrate a giving in and surrendering that I myself have resisted for many years now.  Yet, here I am and, even though I was thinking I should leave or that this here "should" bee somewhere else, where I am is really quite a lovely place.  In fact, it's exactly where I've always wanted to bee.  Sure, there may not bee material abundance or free-flowing money but there is so much LOVE.  It's in my home with my sisters; it's on the streets where acquaintances walk by; it's in stores and coffee shops where our community is; it's in restaurants where we work; it's on the beach and at the park where I lay snuggling up to a brother; it's in the dance studios.  It's in the sky where Hawks drift on Pacific breezes of exhaust and marine layer and it's in the Earth where slithering serpents hug the contours of a coastal desert terrain.  There are kisses and hugs, and sweet intimacies shared.  There is acknowledgment and a sense of belonging.  There are whispers and laughs.  There is catching up on time that has passed under the bridge - longer stretches when babies have been born, marriages taken place, and with travel and exciting journeys.  And, there are the short spans too, where a thick silence and stillness fill the air, when we just listen to the moments tick on by - tick tick tick.  And all without having to drive or go somewhere or do something.  Just by bee-ing - it is here, now.  Why would I want to leave?  What more is there?  Is there anything else that would make me content?  Not really.  This is all I ever wanted.  LOVE. 
(Tribe and Village.)

pattern

These patterns
are hard to break
even harder to see
lessons repeating
over and over again
until a death of sorts has come
and the rebirth that we all dream of
finally unveils itself.
And I guess all we can ever do
is learn how to soften into these moments
practicing with every interaction
and with time
the leaning in becomes common place
with time, our rock hard facades crumble
eroding and giving way
to our soft luminence
and unwavering vulnerability
to the us we once were
to the we we could be, again
if only there were time
again
then space would avail itself
again
and we would disprove einstein's theory
LOVE is never relative.
again,
LOVE IS NEVER RELATIVE.

notes from a dance floor (take #6373788a)

Swooping in on the altar,
my body shifting between shaking to the alternating beats
and just bee-ing, I home in on a book,
laid flat on its spine, open wide,
its vulnerable, white pages bent at the ears,
I sense a passage
a song lilting up from centuries ago
from my truest beeloved
who twirled like a dervish
and spun like a spider
weaving his vibrant web of LOVE,
Rumi said ...

The Seed Market

Where
can you find another market like this?
Where
for one seed
you get a whole wilderness?
for one weak breath,
the divine wind?
You've been fearful
of being absorbed in the ground
or drawn up by the air. 
Now, your waterbed let's go
and drops into the ocean where it came from.
It no longer has the form it had,
but it's still water.
The essence is the same.
This giving up is not a repenting.
It's a deep honoring of yourself.
When the ocean comes to you as a lover,
marry, at once, quickly, for God's sake.
Don't postpone it!
Existence has no better gift.
No amount of searching will find this.
A perfect falcon, for no reason, has landed on your shoulder
and become yours.

easy

And I remember how easy it is to feel like a woman.
To be held in the way of beeauty
and not have to do anything to prove my self
or bee less than all that I am.
"You are a beautiful Goddess," he says,
revering and honoring me.  And all I have to do is receive.
I RECEIVE. 
I RECEIVE.
And I remember my written words that what I want most, really,
is to feel safe (and beautiful).
Held in strong arms.
A masculine container for my divine feminine flow - contained, gently.
Rocked.  Nurtured.  With loving words, soft caresses.
Divinely honored.
Easy.

a day in the life

(First day "off" in a run of nine days.)
Rise. Let chickens out of coop.
Walk to Cafe Calabria, greet baristas, read horoscope.
Walk some more and bump into 20-year-old brother along the way.
Clean coop.
Make breakfast.
Write.  Feed self, housemate and sometime housemate a brekkie high in Alkaline.
Help L. create a new work space in her room.
Ride bike to Golden Hill. Meet and play catchup with M.
Sit in park together.
M. reminds me of how she met her current beau at my last event.
"You literally brought us together, and told us to dance."
Return to North Park via South Park.
Stop in to Sonic Arts, and connect with one of the original founders of DanceJam!, Johnathan Glasier. Head home.   Eat bowl of fresh veggie and beet soup.  Long hot bath, followed by cold rinse.  Sit in sun to dry.  Chat with roomie.  Nap.  LIFE IS GOOD. 
(Now what?)
Dance.
Sing.
Connect.
Share.
LOVE.
 

empire

My fingertips and palms are stained beet red. A hodge-podge of fresh food high in alkaline sits on the stove top. The ancient stirring of memory radiates in my cells. And I remember how to just bee - over a flame, mixing herbs, leaves, roots and more, together in a cast iron pot. This is the me I like to feed. A she who needs to feel, taste and smell all of life's aromas - the pungent and the profane. Soon, I will tend to the chicken's coop - it needs fresh newspaper and to bee aired out. They've been busy little hens, laying tasty, fresh eggs since the start of an early spring. And I acknowledge that the way I can show up more in sisterhood and friendship to L. is by helping to organize a fundraiser that will benefit her and her myriad of health bills. She's right - life isn't fair. As for this witch who also needs help, yet is blessed with an abundance of radiant life force and creative energy, she just keeps trusting that by putting one foot in front of the other and staying true to her heart, she'll get where she is going - to an empire that benefits all of US.

life goes on

Once upon a time, I remember feeling like I didn't have any friends - and I didn't. I was nineteen and living on my own for the first time ever and, although I lived with a best friend who was very social, my life felt devoid of intimacy. It was a sad recognition. One that didn't change a whole lot for years because it was hard for me to bee present - to let go of either my past or a perceived future. One decade later, and my situation had improved only by little - I was in a second, long-term relationship and I enjoyed a handful of close confidants. Still, I could count my intimacies on two hands. I felt isolated and bored - even though my friends have always been a diverse group of humans. DANCING IN COMMUNITY CHANGED ALL OF THIS. Getting out of my head and into my body; allowing my full self expression to flow without too much fear; and expending a lot of time reveling as well as communicating in innocence and joy with myself and Others brought into my life what I have, ultimately, always wanted - which is sweet connections of varying depths with a multitude of people. Brother B. stopped in to the store today. Yesterday, I was reminded of the Owl ceremony we had at Las Raices when one of our old house's new inhabitants became my customer. She came in to purchase Goddess pendants for a group of women she had worked with at San Marcos State. Meanwhile, brother B. stopped in with his sweetness dripping. "This One has many fans," he said to my boss, as my cheeks grew rosy. Later in the afternoon, a new friend "randomly" stopped in to say, "Hey, I just added you as a friend on Facebook." "Awesome," I responded. He asked if we had any Ankhs in the store when, only moments before, I had just unwrapped a set. Akmenaten & Nefertiti founded monotheism - n ow those are some mighty big shoes to fill. So, I come home to a house full of women buzzing and preparing for a Friday night. Kicking my feet up, I lounge comfortably in our small craftsman house. Soon, L. has returned from a failed attempt at going out. She needed an emotional release instead and I noticed how long it took for me to get present to her and her needs. Finally, I came to my senses. "I can do a better job at being a sister to you," I told her, as she openly wept for life's injustices. "It's not fair," I agreed, as I sat on the end of her bed, gently rubbing her arms. Story is what it is... tales to bee told because life always goes on. Imagine, however, the symbols and metaphors used to do the telling lasting for thousands of years. IMAGINE.

i don't beelieve in COINCIDENCE

(Follow up to the below post: Jump Into Spring)
We are heading back towards the light! Thank Goddess. That had to bee one of the darkest winter solstices I have ever encountered. Fuck. The energy was heavy - the craziness was swirling. And, I feel it all lifting... Some will say, "We have shifted, can't you feel it?" And I will agree. Yet, the Earth still turns and the chaos still spins. And, c'est la vie. Just moments ago, my phone received another text. "Amrita Ananda Ma invites you to her event, tomorrow night, March 22nd..." "Whatttt?" I laugh, chuckling at how the text is from the same friend who hooked me up with a California King Size Beauty Rest Mattress during the weekend of my last birthday. I don't believe in coincidences. I am listening Universe. Yes, I hear you. But where is Akhenaten? I am only One. Life is more FUN with two, anyway.

Jump into Spring

Mythology/Story makes the world go round

"There are no accidents," he texts, as I wander in to the Lady of the Lake to find a large book that had jumped off of a top shelf and was now laying on its back, awaiting my arrival.  "Notice me," it seemingly screamed.  I bent down, picked it up, turned it over and it's a coffee-table top picture book about Ancient Egyptian Goddesses and Queens.  "Okay," I surrender to the Universe, "what do you have to show me?" I ask the supposedly inanimate object.

While living in the Prosperity Hive in 2011 a powerful woman's circle was facilitated by an elder priestess when I was first introduced to the Egyptian Goddess, Sekhmet.  Dancing, singing and chanting around the square altar Amrita Ananda Ma had erected within the Hive's comforting, yellow walls, I found myself inexplicably drawn to the figurine of a woman's body with a a splayed cobra sitting on top of a lion's head. 

A few weeks ago, while napping in front of a blazing fire at O's place, we both awoke fresh from vivid dreams.  "I dreamed that I was either being shown or reading ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs," she shared.  "It was your hand on my shoulder," she said, about how we had laid side-by-side on the carpet floor.

Poking through dozens of books on the topic, Queen Nefertiti - the Beautiful One is Come - stood out.  "What more do you have to reveal?" I openly wondered.  However, it was a book on Polarity Magic: The Secret History of Western Religion, that really caught my attention.  "King Akhenaten and Queen Nefertiti were a unique example of a man and a woman working in polarity at every level - physical, emotional, mental & spiritual."  This dynamic duo liberated Egypt from the dysfunction of elitism that was breeding greed and untruth.  Together, they reformed the Aten - the sun disk - into a God of no gender that was above all other Egyptian Gods.  Its energy was prana - it was the life-bringer, the life-giver and the ultimate life force. 

King Tut is one of Akhenten's two sons.  Akhenaten and Nefertiti, however, had six daughters together.  The eldest of whom, Maritaten, is believed to have sailed over to the Emerald Isle where faeries were abound (around 1350 BC) and, soon, the Scottish nation was born...

Who knows?

why

"What you want isn't outside of you - it's INSIDE of you.

And, until you start filling your (w)holes yourself, you will continue to wind up feeling empty-handed, 

even if the most amazing woman comes along who chooses to love you."

So we run along a North Park neighborhood, me chasing your skateboard, you running down the demons in your mind.  And, maybee, this is all it will ever bee ~ us with our tales of LOVE and loss, as me meet in the space where innocence and joy intersect.  A site cultivated and sustained by play.  "What I've learned about relationships," I share, "is that it takes years to find equilibrium together.  It took 8-years for mine & D's sisterhood to really settle in."  I said this after reminding him that we have now known each other for a year.  "Wow!  That's unheard of in my world," he responded.

And, I don't know where these days are heading to even as the Honeybee continues to find her way to me at Lady of the Lake, buzzing around my bee-ing as I stand stocking shelves with new products of gemstones and books, candelabra and talismans.  Later on, he reminds me of how surrender sounds and feels from the Divine Feminine towards her Masculine counterpart.  I sit listening, rapt and attuned.  He's wise, this One.  Nonetheless, he remained outside when I came in to change from the work day - respecting my housemates' wishes.  "People fear what they don't understand," I said, after he told me that he hugged his Rose Quartz, the most powerful stone for LOVE, to his heart as he waited on the sidewalk. 

What's to come?
Only time will tell.

     

the tao of forgiveness

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting.  It is about letting go of another person's throat......Forgiveness does not create a relationship.  Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible.  When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.........Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive.  But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.........Forgiveness does not excuse anything.........You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely.  And then one day you will pray for his wholeness......”
― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity 

One thing is crystal clear:
Life is definitely unfolding according to divine, perfect timing & order.
Even though I was recently lamenting about how, almost one year to the date since my fateful encounter with that Pacific Southwest Speckled Rattlesnake and, here I am continuing to embody the unhealthy imbalances of the wounded masculine and feminine that I was writing and espousing upon then, it's all good.  There is an essential piece to my radical wholeness that needed to bee addressed and that was my unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with my parents.  I am in the process of actively re-defining our connection while giving them the space and time to cool down from their anger over what I wrote in my first "LoveBook."  It wasn't "negative" - I simply felt the need to contextualize why I am so passionate about describing and sharing how to create more love in one's life, even as I intuited that some of my story would hurt them.  It wasn't intentional.  And, the past is the past.  We always have the option to choose a new story, to re-write the old, and to re-create something new.  However, radical responsibility for one's actions is an important starting place.  As I am beginning to deal with the mess I've made of my financial health and well-bee'ing, I have also felt into the place inside of me where the words, "Everything you touch turns to shit," lodged themselves.  From there, I rocked and held my inner child who grew up to perpetuate this fate as an adult.  She is feeling much safer now and she is so innocent - of course she forgives!  There's nothing else to do.  

     

highest self

My a$$ is beat. (feels good.) I walked along University Avenue this morning, and felt into the jeans I was wearing. Wrapped around the contours of my lower torso, I recalled how, over the course of the past five years, I lost twenty pounds of mass and then gained it back again. My body once more mimicking the curves of my twenties that I once found so hard to accept. And, I remembered.. these were Carson's jeans - back before she became he, when her and I were roommates on Alabama Street. Now, the story about my eyebrows is on-going. Back then, Mario used the line "I like your eyebrows," just to get my attention. "I figured, if you keep 'em, then it must mean you like them" he said, as he told me about how he planned his pick-up moves on that Julian spring day. Four years later... I've now got systems and procedures and ways for handling money holding the chaotic upswing of my divine feminine in its palm. It feels good, as I learn the nuts and bolts of a ma & pop's bookstore. Yesterday, I inwardly chuckled at how a couple I had shown Tibetan singing bowls to opted, instead, for a Steampunk Opera gun statue. I asked if they knew of SD's local favorite, Steam Powered Giraffe. While selling a man an Orgone Merkaba pendant, I told him about how Merkaba was, right that very night, playing at the Museum of the Living Artist in Balboa Park, which was where I found myself later on... Maya was whipping out phenomenal sketches of a live, nude model, along with Antonio and Eleura, whom I hadn't seen since my birthday. Soon, we four found ourselves moving, shuffling, dancing and grooving, to the ethereal, other-worldly trances of Jesus Gonzalez on guitar, joined by Daniel on the sax, a cutie on the piano, Jon on the guitar, Margy on backup, and and many other singers, shakers and performers. As we all floated in that melodic and fluid spacetime together, Antonio hovered around my Queen Bee. His reflection was potent. Still hiding in the shadow of his brilliance, he fumes at what he perceives he "is not," all the while HE IS a Living Artist. Perhaps, it is as simple as this - MAKE YOUR LIFE AN ART. make your life art. your life is art. and, a work in progress... (though, that ol' adage has kind of gotten old.) And, there's girlfriends, and walks along the beach, where a crush is talking on his phone, visiting artists who generously share their Souls work, and great food, beautiful people and amazing dancing. There's also taking breaks while sitting on a bench out front United Records where, the other day, I sat feeling how I've avoided putting myself here and the sadness for how I've caused self imposed suffering. (Ouchhh, that again... Breathe out. It's okay, deep compassion. ""I love you. You're doing great. Now, let's embody this lesson.") So, who is my Highest Self? Well, she is definitely the One swinging her hair like a mad woman on a dance floor because she has to get it all out. And, maybe, she's also the quiet One who puts her head down and does the minimum waged labor, while focusing on the tasks at hand as the thoughts dart across her mind. Though, with a boss recently accusing her of being 'more depressed than normal' this probably is not her highest Self. "Depressed?" "Still?" "Or, is it really because I am a statue, like Victoria Beckham outwardly, and thus it is why I rail so hard against humans being like robots and zombies?"  Yes, I see that there's a pattern here.....and I'm breaking it. Because
I want to LIVE JUICY IN THE FLUID. 
 (Like Soul Sistah Nancy does.)

art is why I get up in the morning

"You know, art is why I get up in the morning,

but my definition ends there,

you know, it doesn't seem fair,

that I'm living for something I can't even define,

there you are right there, in the mean time.

You know, well, I don't want to play for you any more,

show me what you can do,

tell me what you're here for,

I want my old friends, 

I want my old mind,

I want my old face,

fuck this time and place..."  --Ani DiFranco

I awake to images of Gregory Colbert's on my desktop.  His body of work is profound.  It affects me, deeply - like a good story that I'd prefer to read so that I may craft its images in my head while feeling the textures of life as they lay all around me.  Or, like a rocking tune that stays with me long after the speakers have turned off - now, forever embedded in the cellular memory of my body.  An art that is so visceral, it pierces our perceived linear fabric of space and time.  And, writing that reminds me that I danced with one of my local Goddard girls, Ale, at DanceJam! last night.  It was only a few short summers ago when we waxed poetically upon the answers to the question of 'What is art?' while spending ten, sweet days nestled up in the Pacific Northwest.  My, what a journey life has been since I completed my MFA degree in 2009.  Last night, Y. said to me, "I am sure you get tired of hearing that you look like Frida, huh?"  How could I ever tire of receiving such a compliment, even if it is superficial?  "It's the eyebrows," I respond, smiling and pointing to the evidence of the Moors invasion of Ireland centuries ago.

And, I remember another him once saying, "You looked immaculate tonight - save for your eyebrows," after an evening spent in-joying theatre in La Jolla on a mid-summer night.  Crest-fallen, I removed my body's natural response after that.  It was merely the high maintenance of such a task that kept me from repeating it - "Fuck what he thinks!"  Ironically, he now likes to purport that meeting his "Soul mate" will bee an easy task - the thing about our Souls is that they are more than skin-deep, Dear One.   

My bird-like nature is another reason why I get up in the morning.   Yesterday, I ambled out to let Jedi and Arwyn out of their coop, as well as to clean it and feed our beloved hens who have been laying daily eggs since the return of the warm weather.  Jedi wandered up to me, asking to be held so I scooped up her black and white feathered body and pet her gently.  Afterward, I lamented to L. how much I miss Buckbeat - "She was such a special soul," I said.  This is why Colbert's work speaks - he caught, in real-time, the rich relationships that can and do dance between us humans and our animal counterparts. And, I never want to envision or experience an Earth devoid of either. 

saturday morning shenanigans

Life Is.
It just is.
And, this IS truly it...
How often it seems that I've written these statements, along with way too much other stuff, yet how often it seems that I forget to take my own medicine and really embody it.
Like, last year - after my snake bite - I was writing about INITIATION, and how important it is to allow ourselves to experience short-term pain.  Still, however, I continued to perpetuate my own long-term suffering by spending the time since then avoiding the necessary steps that I've needed to take too for far too long now.  Earlier today, Sweet sister L. was congratulatory of my movement forward.  I am most happiest that I have apologized to my sisters for my lack of presence and how, as a result, some of my own rigidity has melted away.  Thank God!

So, tonight, M. shares with me the miraculous work of Gregory Colbert and I am in awe. Holy shnikes.  A thirty-two year study spanning continents while approaching the camera as though it is a musical instrument and making music with animals in which there is no hierarchy ~ all One, truly.  Gregory's work encapsulates embodiment and, dear Goddess, it is a display of exquisite perfection that I dream of.  Wow!~  All I ask is that I can honor the Earth and all of its myriad of creatures with such fine work in my lifetime.  In'shala.

Then, I hopped out of our 33rd Street home and over to Mystic Waters Kava Bar where I grabbed O. and we made a mad dash for DanceJam!  Eveoke was popping with a fresh DJ from the Bay Area as well as Sacred Movement Mistress Eva Clay out of LA.  I wasn't expecting to drop in and dance, but how could I refrain?  And, there I am - amidst my Soul Family, doing what I have done for so many years right here in North Park.  Perhaps, this is it.  And, I am okay with this.  Then, Astarius Miraculii closes our circle for us - breathing the ancient Didjeridoo over our sweaty bodies.  Soul sister Luvlee had recently introduced my to his famous "Spirit Rap" above and, here he was, just passing through San Diego so he made his way over to bless us and our space with his message, which is simple - bee the profound expression of the Universe that you are meant to bee.  Anything less is a dis-service to all of life, everywhere.  

Friday Night Fun ~ (fame)

I grew up in the 80s, yo!  Thus, I came home from elementary school and I watched a color television as teenagers took to the New York City Streets sashaying, pirouetting and singing, "Fame, I'm gonna live forever."  I was right there beside them - doing the do & feelin' the feel.  Then, on a 2011 day when a Prosperity Hive buzzed in an East Village and this Queen Bee would stroll into first-name connections with a number of transient men who called those city streets home, she also bumped into an "Irene."  "Hey, together we're Irene Cara," one of them said, as they broke into song and dance right there at F and 14th Streets.  Thus, it is how this tune came to fill the Prosperity Hive's yellow-walled and honey-colored floor space.  Art resonates ~ even after almost thirty years later...

And, tonight, I bumped it on the front room's loud speakers here at the Rooted Living house where I finally, after almost a month and a half of being here, did what I like to do - with my ribcage fully expanded, I belt out lyrics from the pit of my gut as I danced around this small craftsman home with a broom in my hand.  What can I say?  THE WITCH IS BACK.  So, until she feels like fully returning to the computer screen with her face, what always remains is VIBRATION.

wRighting 101 (or, breaking pattern)

"Want to meet up to write now?" he texts.
"Sure," I respond, after a day of being held within the welcoming embrace of a Masculine container.
The chaos of my Feminine flow now given the freedom of parameters and limitations.
Breaking pattern.
YES!
He suggests we follow a few prompts.
"Sure," I chirp in response.

#1: Collectively brainstorm 10 words ~

Hardened (him)

Red (me)

Unspoken (him)

Stillness (me)

Ether (him)

Fingertips (me)

Shrunken (him)

slaves (me)

Claves (him)

Nude (me)

 
Now, write:

Spain, 1547.

Guillerma’s fingertips were rubbed raw.

Pouring the violent rage of grief into her claves, she thrummed out hardened beats piercing a Catalanian countryside.  Her unspoken emotion, lifting up with each sashay of her red dress, floated into the ether, breaking the stillness of a hot summer night.  Guillermo’s ship had finally washed ashore.  Another shipment of slaves, nude save for thin fabric tied around their most private parts, waited to be boarded onto yet another cargo ship.  Ebony skin dripping with sweat, their Spirits shrunken and bent.  Guillerma, unconsolable in her loss, spit at their feet.  “¡Pinche negros!” 

#2: Rewrite the above with a suggestion of what to change from partner. 
(My suggestion: the slaves speak Hebrew.)

Auschwitz, 1943.

Josefina’s fingertips were rubbed raw.

Shivering in the morning snow, her bare hands red, she drove the shovel into the frozen soil.  With each downward thrust, she thrummed out a steady 4X4 rhythm, breaking the stillness of the shrunken landscape.  Her mind floating across the ether, she was transported back to Austria, where she gave a 5 lire note to a traveling Gypsy.  The woman’s claves ringing back through time, “clacka clacka clack.”  Josefina shivered in the memory, her nude body covered in mere scraps of cloth.   Her hardened soul spitting unspoken curses at the SS covering her shift, “Aba shelha sarsur.”

#3: Take the last line from someone else's poem and use it as the starting line for yours:

Starring Hafiz & Me!

“Only a perfect one
who is always laughing at the word
two 
can make you know
of 
Love.

Only an imperfect one

Who is always crying at the word

Now

Can make you question

Presence.

Only a content one who is always silent

Can make you wonder

What more?

Only an impatient one who is always asking for more

Can make you wonder why?”

 

the gift

the One and Only,
HAFIZ

Only the illumined
One
who keeps seducing the formless into form
had the charm to win my heart.
Only a perfect one
who is always laughing at the word
two 
can make you know
of 
Love.

gifts of presence

Where ya been all my life, yo?
I love greeting people with this statement every once in a while - it never fails to produce a mega-watt smile that lasts for years.
(try it sometime.)

Me?  I haven't really been here.  The hypocrite in me has been having fun,
hiding... Come this new year, I felt that the Universe, with its big bites and hard shoves out of two important spaces, was saying, "Go."  Yet, a few months later, I am still "here" - though not fully committed to this present moment yet fearful to jump from "here" to "there."  Every journey begins with one, small baby step forward (or something like that, is how the adage goes...)

M. and I had to have a serious sit-down conversation because I had contracted so far in that I was creating waves of discomfort due to my lack of communication here at the Rooted Living house.  "I am having to read your blog to find out what is going on with you," M. admonished.  "I know, I'm sorry," I responded.  "It's true - I'm not stoked with where I am."  So, what'cha ya want, what'cha really really want?

Soul sistah Luvlee questioned, "What if this is just it, C?" as we sat on the floor of a children's indoor playground last week.  Since then, she's made huge strides in her life to continue in the direction of her highest good and personal legend.  So, as I surrender into this day of a morning spent with musician Ashley ("it's been a month since Valentine's Day," I said) and a new part time gig at a metaphysical bookstore, I step into the shower saying,  
"Just bee where you are." 
Truly, contradiction makes life interesting, colorful and layered. 

p.s.
Yo, Germany - are you out here?!  
There?!  
'Cuz I see you reading these words - 
give a shout to let us know your thoughts and feelings...
(About Anything  ~  Write/Right Below)
please.  because i am tired of just the ol' crazy stalker who leaves cuckoo comments....   
 

three TWELVE ~ Daily Dose of LIKE

Oh, Benjamin ~ how often I share your sentiments of "You're Perfect" with others.  It's simple, beautiful and inspiring, yet the world seems hell bent on perpetuating an existence in which "not good enough" is the norm.  It's Judeo-Christian in its roots and capitalism thrives on this tenet.  If we all truly trusted ourselves, as we both recommend, then most of us wouldn't buy the crap that's peddled our way and we sure as heck wouldn't buy into the notion that our salvation lies in death.  So, here we are... just bee-ing perfect.  Or, as I like to say, I am imperfect and, so what?  C'est la vie.  It just is.  Awareness is....

Eleven years ago, we met on an Idyllwild dance floor.  You were one of my first teachers who helped me to elucidate upon what I have always experienced ~ Essence Dancing.  Mine.  Yours.  Ours.  There wasn't an I or a You, per se - there was just this magic dust, lifting up, twirling around, blown about underneath Pine Trees on a mountainside.  But, I didn't know that then.  Your laugh always gave you away, however, as we wandered off to read Rumi on dirt-dusted rocks underneath Arcturus and Spica.  Now, however, I think I understand and the way of the wandering sage beckons...

 

three ELEVEN ~ Daily Dose of LOVE

"Nothing is really more inhuman than human relations based on morals.  When a man gives bread in order to be charitable, lives with a woman in order to be faithful, eats with a minority in order to be unprejudiced, and refuses to kill in order to be peaceful, he is as cold as a clam.  He does not actually see the other person.  Only a little less chilly is the benevolence springing from pity, which acts to remove suffering because it finds the sight of it disgusting.

But there is no formula for generating the authentic warmth of love.  It cannot be copied.  You cannot talk yourself into it or rouse it by straining at the emotions or by dedicating yourself solemnly to the service of mankind.  Everyone has love, but it can only come out when he is convinced of the impossibility and the frustration of trying to love himself.  This conviction will not come through condemnations, though hating oneself, through calling self love all the bad names in the Universe.  It comes only in the awareness that one has no self to love."
--Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity, A Message for an Age of Anxiety

I shared with a friend yesterday that I've never really felt seen by him.   He jumped to the defense in response because he thought I was judging him as being incapable of seeing me due to his self-absorption. "I do not think you are any more self-absorbed than I am," I assured him. "I don't feel seen by you because I don't believe that you see yourself."  He didn't understand what I meant.  It wasn't until he was expressing his exasperation over being judged by others that I was able to point out what I was trying to convey.  "Others throw shit at me often," I shared. "Evil, unhappy, jealous, controlling, monopolizing - I could go on with the words that are leveled in my direction.  But I know who I am - I KNOW MY ESSENCE."  Hence, such attempts to knock me off of my balance have little effect.  Besides, we are quick to point out in others the perceived "flaws" that we have yet to accept in ourselves.

So, I am posting my new friend Yoshi's music video above because what I really appreciate about this man is his HUMILITY.  He's talented, fresh and got 6,000 views for this video alone, yet I have danced with him - both on and off the dance floor on numerous occasions now - and he has yet to say, "Don't you know who I am?"  He hasn't pitched his self or his offerings.  He is just bee-ing - a divine instrument, allowing the Universe to flow through him.  And, I am sure that he is human too and that, just like the rest of us, he gets caught up in a sense of self, ego and identity.  Yet, what his actions have attested to is a true balancing act of our duality within (aka masculine & feminine, light & dark, etc) - each of us are the center of the cosmos, we are everything yes, and we are nothing, too.  As my main man Rumi said, "YOUR ESSENCE IS HIDDEN IN DUST.  TO REVEAL ITS SPLENDOR, YOU MUST BURN IN THE FIRE OF LOVE."    

the gift of risk taking

"Bee careful what you ask for," this month's reading states.
I immediately checked in with myself, "What am I asking for?"
Hmmm...
A conversation with Soul Sister S. helped to clarify. 
"I am trying to force a way again," I shared with her about one of my week's risk-taking activities.  "Is that what you want, Cara?" she inquired. 
"Is that the path you want to take?  Is that the way of the Divine Feminine?  
Will it gently and gracefully yield what you are asking for?"  
On my afternoon walk, I recalled the old adage, "You can lead a horse to water... " 
Right.
My BodyMind remembers.
Now, at least I can live with the knowing that I tried.
I release the past
to walk powerfully in to this present.
A gift ~ always.

(three) EIGHT ~ Daily Dose of LOVE

from the Power Path's School of Shamanism

"The primary theme for March is MOVEMENT.
However, March is a split personality month with the first couple of weeks giving us more of February's watery course. During this time, watch for continued unexpected emotional debris surfacing from the depths. It may seem like nothing is moving and the surface is quiet, but there is a lot going on underneath. We have called this time period "Roll With the Punches".

Mid month, the underwater movement comes to the surface as the storm gathers and unleashes its energy in full force much like a sprinter at the Olympics. This sprinter has set goals, dreamed, trained and remained very focused to get where they are and this is the time to put it all together. We are calling this time frame "Ready, Set, GO!"

During the first part of the month it may seem like not much is active as the movement is subtle, unfocused and subconscious. Beware of letting down your guard as we are still in the time of unpredictability. Earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, strong tides, storms and floods are not always apparent until they actually unleash their power. Remember not to underestimate what goes on beneath the surface and pay attention to the subtle (or not so subtle) signs. Even if you spend a lot of time feeling "spaced out", just know that there is lots going on that you may not be consciously aware of.

This is a good time to continue to clear out the old. Your goals and intentions that were set at the end of 2012 at the time of the solstice put certain things into motion. All the emotional clearing, dissolving of old patterns, forgiveness, acceptance and flexibility are all a very necessary part of the preparation for what hits us later this month. Even Mercury in retrograde has taught us valuable lessons in paying attention to what is present and in front of instead of impatiently surging ahead before the timing is right.

One of the most important things to do during this time of preparation is to differentiate between what is yours and what belongs to someone else. Expectations, judgments, thought forms, dreams, plans, disappointments and reactions all need to be scrutinized and sorted appropriately. You do not want to be going into the later part of the month with any energy that is not completely yours. This is the time to evaluate and clean house of all energy leaks so that when the action hits, you are ready to go without distraction.

Another important reminder is to stay present and wait for right timing. Don't try and anticipate the movement but pay close attention so you can ride the wave like a good surfer. If you are not distracted and concerned with other people's energy, you will instinctively know when the timing is right and be able to make your move without any extra effort.

The second part of the month called "ready, set, GO" pretty much says it all. You better be prepared and preparedness is 30% eliminating what's in the way, 30% being clear about what you want, and the rest taking action and trusting the support behind you. This could be a phenomenal time of manifesting (finally) what you have been hoping and hoping for. To insure success, you must eliminate all mixed messages to spirit that indicate you are not ready, or you are afraid, or you are uncertain, or you don't believe it could happen, or you don't think you deserve it, or that you really don't want it because then others won't love you, and a variety of other mixed messages. It is also important that your actions match your intentions. Don't ask for something if you are not really willing to accept the consequence of having it happen. Be VERY careful what you ask for at this time because you will probably get it.

So be ready. Have all your ducks in a row, your closets cleaned, your plumbing working. Be set and clear about what you want. Make sure its what YOU want. And GO. Take action, say yes and go for it. If you are not focused during the second part of the month you could be sideswiped by big waves of energy coming at you from the wrong direction when you are not paying attention. So pay attention, be directive, be proactive, be focused, and take action. Only go straight!"

(three)seven ~ Daily Dose of LOVE with Olivia

Meet my Italian sistar, Olivia Taglioni.  We've been dancing together for months now and, from the first day we met, I have reveled in her powerful reflection.  Through our developing friendship, I've also been confronted with my own incongruency - such as how magnetic power can mask deep insecurity.  And, c'est la vie. 

O. recently moved into a lovely apartment in City Heights that she shares with her three young daughters.  My favorite part of spending the night with them is when O's 5-year-old climbs into the pull-out bed at 6:30am, suckling on her binkie, she drapes her light-as-a-feather legs over my curves. 

City Heights is San Diego's most vibrant neighborhood as it is also one of the nation's most ethnically-diverse, with over 40 different languages - plus upwards of 30 different dialects - being spoken by its more than 80,000 residents, many of whom are refugees from places like Iraq, Somalia, Ethiopia, Pakistan, Afghanistan and more.  Not too ironically (because we have yet to overcome our collective fear of that which we do not understand) you can hear the buzzing drone of a chopper in the video above.

Earlier this week, I spent an amiable afternoon strolling those same City Heights streets with another dear, sweet sistar who, only a few short years ago, had been seeking asylum herself.  Now, we walk arm in arm towards rolling hills where, right in the middle of the city center, we sit down on the grass, create an altar and pray for our collective and individual dreams. 
It's only a matter of time.
In'shala.

scripting ourstory

One year, a leap and a big bite later, and I remember...
Laying on N.'s couch in his Carlsbad sanctuary, crying my eyes out because, finally, my true Self felt affirmed.  I found her, my Divine Wild Feminine, in the pages of the Ringing Cedar Series.
Yet, Anastasia was born unto the Siberian Tiaga whereas I was destined to a life seeking balance in the city center where technology and humanity, culture and civilization, intersect. 
One year later, and the "how" for sharing the tale of our integrated whole as a means of enduring continues to slowly unveil itself - like a thick, rich molasses it languishes.  Recently, I said to soul sister, S. - "I need my Vladimir."  At that moment, we were driving on the 8 west, headed back from a day trip up to the local mountains to revel in snow play with her two young beauties when we both noticed a familiar last name on a signpost.  It was one of those adopt-a-freeway announcements and the last name of the most recent adoptee was posted.  It even had a green shamrock below it.  "Did you see that?"  I asked her.  "Yes," she responded.  We just laughed and shrugged our shoulders.  Time will reveal all.
We all have our personal legends to tell.  A week or so ago, brother M. was sharing about his experiences with a gorgeous woman in our community.  "She was the Mary Magdalene to my Jesus," he said.  And C. has a long play list that sings of the magic that has danced between he and J.  "It's like our wedding reception music has already been written," I imagine him saying. 
You are my Vladimir,
you know?
Your recognizing this is a necessary step in the direction of ourstory -
with each moment of waking up, with every layer that we each continue to shed and pull away from our hardened hearts and our veiled eyes, we script a new story.

(03/04) ~ Daily Dose of LOVE: On Contentment

Oh, to bee human ~ it is, by far, the most intriguing terrain to navigate.

Sitting with my sadness this weekend, especially as the past week built up to it, was the only place where I could bee.  A past me once sought escape to anywhere else but "here" (co-depending it away...) as a means to not be present with what is.  Today's me just wants to go as deeply into whatever it is that she is feeling so that I may shift that which has me perpetuating patterns that do not serve and, thus, from living my dreams. 

As always, it is the RELATIONSHIPS is my life that sustain and nurture me.  Surrounded by men, women and children who are my community, my pulse, it is our conversations - our walks and talks, our dancing, our sitting in circle, our breaking bread, our very collective bee-ing - that fuels my heartbeat.  And, it has taken me quite awhile to recognize when another is projecting their stuff onto me.  I have to remind myself to don my Super Woman bracelets as I remember to deflect the outright projection, blame and anger that others can unconsciously throw in my direction.  Other times, I nudge myself to relax into the knowing that what that person just said to me, right there, has nothing to do with me, whatsoever.  It is simply his or her own sadness and pain for how he or she is not showing up in their own lives. 

Last night, J. was talking about "envy" as being a "negative emotion."  "It's not good or bad," I responded, "it just is.  I allow myself to feel my envy as an INVITATION to explore what is going on within.  Is what I am seeing another person reflect something I would also like to be doing for myself?  Once I've answered this question, then I can stop feeling jealous and start giving myself what I need."  Focusing on the direction you want to move in will keep you out of the life-draining drama of "he said, she said" and in the forward flow of attracting to yourself that which you dream.  

Now, get moving.    

release #2 ~ happy mondays (again)

I hope this amazing song awakens your BodyMind and carries you through another miraculous start of a week.  The Cinematic Orchestra's tune broke through any remaining walls - puncturing straight through to my heart - yesterday after I had had already spent good time sweating my prayers and giving myself the "sexual release" I needed while at Dance Church.

"This is a place that I don't feel alone
This is a place that I call my home
And I, I will build a home
for you
for me"

Dancing with Steve, surrendering the totality of my weight, as he lifted and dipped me, as I fully trusted - without fear or hesitation - that he confidently had me while the look of complete ecstasy enveloped my whole bee-ing was IT.  YES!

COMMITMENT is the word that I am charging forward with into this Monday.
WHAT ARE YOU COMMITTED TO?

I am committed to honoring that each person who crosses my path carries with him, or her, a MEDICINE and that I can let go of the person (especially when need be) and instead integrate the POWERFUL DOSE OF "WAKE UP" that I was gifted.  

Case in point: On the night before my 36th birthday, a snake dressed up like a man reminded me that I am a champion.  Last week, a woman dressed up like a Dragonfly reminded me that I need to break the illusions that keep me from growing and maturing.  "What illusions?" I inquired of myself.  "Perhaps, the illusion that you are anything-less-than the champion that you are," came the message from my SoulSpirit.

I AM COMMITTED TO BEE-ING A CHAMPION. 
And to building that Village
for you
for me 

I am also committed to sharing with you the MAGIC of simply bee-ing.  If you pay close enough attention, if you listen - deeply - you can sustain the flow of synchronicity in your LIFE.  And, this is where the daily miracles lay - in the songlines, like: Paul McCartney singing "Let it Bee," once at Jon's last Here & Now session and the other when I am feeling into that illusion that is my emotional rut while at Upstart Crow Bookstore; or, Rihanna's voice belting out, three different times, on the same beautiful, warm, Saturday morning stroll, "We found LOVE in a HOPEfull place."  

 

release ~ part I

Dear God,
Thank you.

I tell you, friends, all you have to do is open up your mouth and vulnerably express what is true for you.  You will hear yourself and, then, more than likely, you will take the required steps necessary for making that change.  Today, I sat with my feelings of "I feel locked up," and then I shared them with both G. and with you in today's videoblog.  Tonight, M. and I shared a deep exchange during which I communicated feelings that I have been holding in for too many days now.

Interestingly, a pattern has presented itself - here at the Rooted Living house, I began to feel "unsafe" because I did not feel that my Divine Feminine was being supported.  Rather, it felt as though she was being continually challenged and questioned.  So, I contracted and when my roommates left for a weekend without my sharing these feelings with them, I created a catalyst with my actions which, in turn, had one of my roommates feeling unsafe.  It made for a past week of held tongues, jagged interactions and walls of separation.  It didn't feel good - in the least bit.

Last week, while sitting with C. up in Grandma on a weekday night, he said to me, "Why is a communitarian like yourself walking the streets alone at night?"  "Grrrr," I purred back at him, "because I am a black panther."  He is learning how to gently press my edges.  "Why don't you just create it, Cara?" he asked, in regards to a village.  "Perhaps, your divine feminine is being too imbalanced in allowing," he intimated.  "Grrrrr..." my black panther responded, even as a finger of truth wagged in my face.

Under the early spring sunshine, I walked by our old house today.  How I miss the softness of engagement that we women greeted each other with daily.  I miss the kitchen conversations and the warm, open hearts that were continually buzzing, beating and vibrating together.  I miss the guys sleeping over and waking up to Q. doing Chi Gung.  I miss the music and the laughter.  At the park today, I laid on the grass watching the couples and the children and I felt so damn empty and alone.  "This is not what I want," I sat with.  "Well, then, what do you want, C?" I eventually remembered to ask myself.  

Today, M. overheard me advising my client to cauterize the wound - of his own self imposed suffering - by cleanly cutting off his relationship with a very specific person.  "This relationship is draining your life-force energy," I told him, "and I am willing to be the model that you need to see of a firm commitment to one's highest good.  I will not talk to you on the phone again until you have cut off your unhealthy relationship with that married woman."  "Great job!" M. said, when I confidently hung up the phone.  "I want to be soft and firm," I said to myself today, "and I want my man to be firm and soft."    

Tonight, after working through all of the words that have gone unsaid between us and the hurt that grew up between us as a result, M. gently returned to one of the main points of disagreement between us.  "So, you say you want a relationship yet, where are you giving your energy in this direction?"  She didn't really have to say anything though, because I heard every ounce of medicine that I was distributing to P. today, and I knew I NEED EVERY DOSE OF IT FOR MYSELF. 

(three) two ~ All Things Round

The first-business I ever conceived was a children's edutainment program
that shared basic science concepts through the performing arts.  It was all about the
most energy efficient shape and we used hula hoops, ping pong balls, juggling balls, bouncing balls and more to embody the lessons.  Indeed, the space-time warp is bent by the mass of objects within it - the larger the object, the more it bends space (and, thus, time) around it.  (Imagine LOVE as a mass?  Me?  I'm just throwing out these balls hoping they'll stick like glue...)
Jupiter is known to have 32 moons orbiting it.  At one point in my journey, I would look into a 10" telescope under a light-filled, Idyllwild-night sky and point out Io, Callisto, Ganymede and Europa (Jupiter's four largest moons) to the inquiring BodyMinds of children.  Light penetrates space with its laser-like beams, yes, and it is sweet curves that nurture and sustain life as we know it.

(p.s. the gorgeous voice and soft tabla playing in the background is local singer-songwriter ashley foster.  you can hear her sing, "sweet you are," on our valentine's day videoblog here.)

   

(three) ONE ~ It's a MYSTERY

 
And, we begin again
at ONE.
An opportunity to start over, begin anew,
and refresh our perspective, just as the start of this new year of 2013
(on one/one) offered us.

As much as I love words, as much as I enjoy pontificating on meaning,
playing with metaphor and searching, always searching, for this thing called LOVE,
ONE TRUTH is that
there isn't any sense
(cents).

THIS HERE AND NOW IS A MYSTERY. 

This, my friends, is where the true beauty lay.
This is the real power.

We don't really know what animates these human forms,
what drives us to rise every single day, seeking,
what calls us forth and beckons us into the next adventure,
always crashing and colliding from one moment of relating into another.

Life is, after all, one grand dance.
We don't know why some of our dance partners are like beacons, 
brightly illuminating a path that we feel destined to follow,
while others we allow to simply drop away like a cool breeze in the night.
There isn't any sense to it, aside from the meaning with which we choose to ascribe.

And, I think that's the point.  In an era when we've forgotten how to share oral story,
in a time when we'd rather plug into our iphones, or ipods, or "I-gotta-have-it-now-daddy!" mentality,
the richness of simplicity has been lost and the MAGIC that is always surrounding us has become either a boring backdrop of repetition or senseless chaos in a world gone mad.

Yet, there's only and ever ONE you.  And the greatest movie is playing out right now.  The greatest tale that could ever bee told is in the midst of unfolding - it's called YOUR LIFE.  Notice how each individual thread - the moments that transpire as you sit in the car during your daily commute to work, the songs that come over the radio, the billboards on the passing trucks, the letters on license plates, the birds swooping and preying overhead as well as the individual people whose paths cross yours - is interwoven and layered to create the warmest, thickest, most beautiful tapestry.  Now, multiple that by billions and trillions of tapestries and know that your life is a miracle even as you are but ONE speck of space dust.