It's a response to why I write, talk and live the way I do.)
The
ability to endure is a universally accepted definition of sustainability.
At least that's what Wikipedia says, so it must be so. Here in San
Diego, we have yet to collectively agree upon a definition of what
sustainability looks like for the 3.1 million people in this specific
region. On this scale, is sustainability possible? If so, how will we
endure given our current paradigm in which 80% of our water is imported
from the Colorado
River? What
will happen when our city wells run dry? Or, when
the cost of what should be a basic human right is no longer affordable
by the masses? How will we survive when global warming, droughts
and, thus, a lack of water have been turning the Southwest into a
blazing inferno for the past decade?
I
know, these questions are seemingly too esoteric to answer - let alone
ponder - and, here in southern California, we'd rather focus on the
short-term of our tans, waves and weekends, while leaving the long-range
planning for the generations who are to follow, anyway. Yet, the
ability to endure is affecting each and every one of us now.
For
every four of us, cancer is eating one of us alive - from the
inside out. Today, our American young people are, more and more, being
diagnosed with diabetes
type II in childhood. Heart
disease is killing us and depression
is causing great suffering among our family members, neighbors and
friends. We're sick and we feel hopeless.
I
know the feelings well. I too once succumbed to the gnawing ache of
depression. My emotional state began to wreak havoc on my physical
state and, for the first time ever in my short life, my pap smear came
back with an abnormality. I was
stuck in the fast lane of anxiety with shallow breath and an inability
to quiet the never-ending barrage of thoughts tormenting my mind.
I felt hopelessly trapped in skin and
bone. I couldn't eat. I lost so much weight that I looked pinched and
thin. I was miserable and I really believed that there was no way out.
However,
I am not typing this to preach about alternative procedures, holistic
treatments or, even, about the food we should be putting into our
bodies, the air that should be less thick of carbon dioxide,
the water that should be pure of toxins and the amount of
radiation that should be penetrating us daily. Our culture and
western civilization as we know it is now on a fast track, headed in a
direction that we are all sure to find out about sometime soon - it is
only a matter of time. Rather, I am writing this to share that I now,
honestly and wholeheartedly, believe that our ability to endure, our
sustainability, is deeply rooted in each other. You,
me, us - we all sustain each other. With our hugs and our
kisses. With our reaching across the great divide of fear and unknowing
and extending a warm hand in greeting "Hello" or in offering help to a
stranger in need. With our listening ears and our feeling hearts. With
our abilities to be present - it is the best gift we can give, after
all.
True
sustainability lies in the warm, dank soil of our souls where all we
truly need is to be deeply held, and fervently loved. True
sustainability is found in the forgiving eyes of our dear ones and in
the welcoming embraces of our community members. True sustainability is
letting down our guard and allowing our vulnerable, naked truth to be
witnessed and expressed. True sustainability is here, now. True
sustainability is the notion that "You Are Perfect" just as you are -
even with all of your human flaws and weaknesses.
To the
contrary, true sustainability will not be discovered within the
antiquated walls of a crumbling classroom while students sit in bored
silence. Rather, it will be found in the recognition that the teacher
is simultaneously the pupil, in the working together, side by side by
side, and in the sharing of all voices equally. True
sustainability will not be found in purchasing eco-conscious products
while supporting a still-green economics. Rather, it will be found in
acknowledging that what we have right this very moment is enough. And,
true sustainability will not be located in the eco-tourism vacations to
neighboring lands. Rather, it will be found in sitting down to a daily
tea with your elderly neighbor, in smiling at a passing face, and in
breathing through the uncomfortable rush that tells us to do otherwise.
Yes, I do speak from experience - at least where my health and
well-being are concerned.
After my mental health breakdown, I re-committed myself to both
the language of the dance and the same loyal community - week after week
and year after year. The anxiety and depression eventually
dissipated. Meanwhile, I returned to see my gynecologist and she found
nothing but a tilted uterus. Nonetheless, I remain vigilant - the
garden of my soul requires much nurturing, care and work.
It
also needs you.
And, it needs you to churn, till and rake
your soil, as well.
In these coming times, let's
sustain each other.
