sneak peek (LIFE IS A DANCE)

If you are paying attention, then you will remember that I mentioned another photo shoot that I brought my Beeloved Community together for back at the beginning of February.  (Again, deep well of GRATITUDE for my main man and photographer, Kevin McIlwaine of Stones Throw Photography.)  Well, mission accomplished as the shots are SEXY! 

Goddess, how I LOVE SEXY.  I LOVE TO FEEL SEXY (which happens when I dance alone, with the floor or, sometimes, when a very specific piece of music vibrates in the air.  And, yes, it can also happen when I dance with others - both men and women alike) AND, I LOVE TO BEE SEXY.  I've earned it damn it, so relish it I shall.

In my twenties I once feared what allowing my body closer intimate contact with a 'stranger' could "mean."  Does he think I want to have sex with him?  Will they think I am a slut and/or easy?  Around that time period, I also shaved the hair off of my head while I refused to shave the hair under my armpits as well as on my legs.  I took this cursed gift of BEAUTY and I flung it right back into God's face.  I was pissed.  Then.  Now, I am not angry anymore.

In fact, I am so gratefully content that I just want YOU TO BEE SEXY and FEEL SEXY, too.  I want you to experience a flourishing, vibrant life in which you are letting go of believing that just a few people can meet most of your needs (they can not and it is this, usually, which causes most of the grief and strain in our relationships) and are instead being enveloped, held and supported within the LOVING EMBRACE of COMMUNITY.  This is true wealth and this is the POWER OF LOVE.

YOU SHALL BEE FREE

"When you LOVE without fear
than you shall bee free..."

Powerful and ebony skinned, you saunter into the Lady of the Lake looking for a Moldavite.
"What do you want if for?" I inquire.  "The Pharoahs are returning, ya know?" you casually, and eventually, say. 
"YES!  I know."

We meet up at Ramzee's.  "Akhenaten is here in San Diego," you say.  "Yessssss," my body vibrates in response.  "And, Nefertiti is slowly dying without her King.  Their Divine energies must once again bee brought into union."  "YES!"  I silently cheer.  POLARITY MAGIC IS DIRE AND NEEDED.
NOW.

YES!!!!

"And, I am High Priestess at Hathor's Temple 
here and ready to serve."

Who Made You the Center of the Universe?

"I will never bee want you want
and that's alright
'cuz my skin ain't light
and my body ain't tight
and that's alright
but if I might,
I must stand and fight.."

Gratitude brushes my lips,
my face full of your kisses,
this NOW is simply practice.
LOVE is our compass and true north
as we allow for our frailities, weaknesses and imperfections.
We are but human after all.

"I will never be what you want and that’s alright,
I play my own damn tune, I shine like the moon.
And very soon, I’ll soon fly over you.
And what you gonna do when I fly over you?"

And as the darkness and the destruction recedes into the background,
there you are, yet again.  This time in my dreams.  Dark and brooding, moody and non-committal,
your musician self.   I lingered there in bed, wanting, waiting for sleep to remain and dreamtime
to return.  Yet, wake I must.


"Tell me who made you the center of the universe?
Who made you the center of the universe?
Who made you the center of the universe?
Who made you the center of the universe?"

Still dancing, I  twirl through time and space with my siblings.
My brother, my husband, together we grow and lean into our
communication as well as discomfort.  Along the way, we embody our truths
of hope and loyalty.
My sister, my companion, together we dream and lay in our garden
of fertility as well as adversity.  Along the way, we birth new worlds
of compassion and wisdom.

"And every morning when I wake up I pray for you
And then I pray for me that soon you’ll see
How love can be, our love will set you free.
And what it’s gonna be, I see the beauty in your eyes.

Finally, you step forward, taking the lead, guiding me
to the dancefloor,
where we sway and rock, roll and shimmer,
and you hold me there
close
tight
"I love you," I say, nuzzled into your chest,
"I love you, too," you respond into my dark curls.
And so it is.

Spring Cleaning & Transition

My, what a difference a season makes!
It has only been four short months (Gregorian calendar-wise)
since that mythical winter solstice of 2012.

And I am filled with gratitude

for beeing exactly where I am ~
wearing a turquoise wrap-dress, purchased from the Hillcrest Farmer's Market,
and walking through North Park to the Lady of the Lake on a sunny Sunday morning when the
county-wide Earth Day Fair was being held in Balboa Park.
Then, retuning home to a sister in the hearthstone and a dog who LOVES me
(and is not "mine"), before heading over to another sistar's South Park home.
Filled with crystals and gemstones, I tended to the needs of her beeloved cat
while I "re-charged my batteries" in her canyon-side master craftsman.

Sleep has been deep and my dreams vivid.

Continuing to shed what remaining belongings I have, I prepare myself for another
forward leap by reflecting on all that has transpired both here at the Rooted Living house
as well as over the course of the past few months.
So.  Much.  Movement.
And I am grateful for all of it.

Where to fly to next?
And what life lessons shall the journey bring?
Only time will tell...
In'shala.

Tails from a Medicine Pouch

Skating a thin line
between reality and myth
what is what?
and who is who?
And, in the end,
does it really matter?
After all,
the Universe is made up of Story.

As we emerge from the collective darkness
of our mutual suffering,
the light of dawn rising brighter on the horizon,
I walk steadfast in my stride,
my vision clear,
my heart pure,
it pumps the same, brilliant tune -
a symphony I've marched to my entire life.

"You're a social butterfly," you say last night over the phone.
"It's more that my life experience was so extreme that I have to
feed my Soul - I have to feed my Soul," I respond.
And, even for me, this "just bee-ing" isn't always "easy."
My wicked, little mind wants to run ahead and fabricate untruths.
Yet, my EarthBody - divinely in tune - recognizes the messengers as
they arrive.  These days, it's in the form of a Hummingbird.

And, as our experience in the Rooted Living house, comes to a close -
a space where, upon waking from my first night spent here,
the Monarch Butterfly greeted me from the wood floors,
I prepare my wings
to take flight once more.  A little more intact and a whole lot more 
together.

Earth Day Inititation

Spring has sprung
and LOVE blossoms ~
everywhere.
It's in the warm sky,
where the sun's rays provide a welcoming hand.
It's in the cool breeze, dancing across
fragile faces,
and it's the look of emergence
in the eyes of each passerby.

One year ago, I meandered this same path -
healing from a bite wound to my left leg,
we created our own Soular Powered Parade
and marched along a University Avenue
to the biggest Earth Day celebration in the county.
The following weekend, I was offered my first medicine pouch -
made from real Rattlesnake that was then boiling on a Beltane pot.

Yet, time isn't the linear line we're made to beelieve in.
Instead, it's round, curving and fluid. 
And, here I am ~
I have yet to travel to San Francisco to claim my rite of passage.
As I intuited last year, my bite was a beginning step.
Wearing my own medicine pouches appears to bee the true initiation.

Today, I was, once more, gifted a medicine pouch.
Only, in the end, it wasn't my powerful Shamaness sister who had hand-made it
and placed it around my neck.  Rather, it was a man - a stranger, really -
who wandered into the Lady of the Lake, read my t-shirt and asked for what I was offering.
"A hug, please," he asked.  In response to my giving, and to my interest in his hoopdie of a vehicle parked out front, he returned with a gift.  A colored medicine pouch
with a Rose Amethyst Crystal Quartz - the gemstone of LOVE - inside.

"You are beautiful," he said, after he handed me my gift.
I received it, gratefully.
After all, I can't dictate where or how it comes.
I can only give great thanks when it does.
Then, I returned to the sweet nectar I have been involving myself in,
after having tended to my responsibilities, while "working" -
reading Marion Zimmer Bradley's the Mists of Avalon.

Upon returning home, after three days spent playing mama bear to a sistar's
tribe of three young ducklings, I jumped into M's arms.  We sweetly cooed to
each other while playing catch up on the water that has flowed under the bridge this week.
While telling her of today's miraculous events, I said, "It was a year in the coming, and my initiation is complete."

rain of LOVE

In a place where
flying body parts, smoke, ash
and explosives are made to rain down upon our heads,
In a world where words like terror, panic and mayhem
is splashed across every news source,
everywhere
day after day, moment after moment,
in a time when we have been convinced
that not just our freedom but our safety
lay in the consumption of our technologies,
in a space when our civil liberties continue to be dismantled,
with women's rights repealed and gun chaos on the rise,
we allow ourselves to be distracted
to debate semantics
to march against
to care who marries who
as though any of it matters
in a time when we cherish the mind
above all else
we've somehow forgotten to think
to really look
at the facts
to truly feel
what our bodies tell us,
what our Souls know.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
And the best recourse in a planet going mad
is to stand up and say,
"I LOVE YOU,"
to rain, rain, rain
LOVE, hugs and kisses,
to breathe compassion
and just bee.
To stand up in the face of it all
and to choose LOVE
LOVE over money
LOVE over fear
LOVE over control
LOVE over feigned power
LOVE the loss
LOVE the trauma
LOVE  the tragedy
LOVE LIFE
because there's nothing else to do.
THIS IS THE TRUE POWER OF LOVE.
Join me.
Join US.
NOW.

SUCCESS as LOVE

We pull together - in our hours of need.
Finally asking for help.
Banding together
because there is no other way.

We support one another
in our growth and our healing.
The planet needs us now.
We need US now.
There is no other way.

And, it's not an easy or convenient path.
It's uncomfortable terrain - exposing one's underbelly
and vulnerability.
Yet, it's what the world needs now.
And, we dance and we sing through it all
because there is nothing else to do.
There is nothing else to do

but hold each other, lick our wounds
and keep moving forward - a little more intact
and a whole lot more together.
There is nothing more.



 (Xavier Rudd's song as performed by Liz, Matt & Shae
at Liz's Benefit and Live Music Jam at Mama Tam's Thai Food
Restaurant in Normal Heights last Saturday night.)

in the news today

Antarctic ice melt is the highest it has been in 1,000 years.
Our seas are rising.
Still, you go on
chasing your tail,
running after illusion,
as though the today we know
is the tomorrow that is to come.

In the news today,
the Bees are disappearing,
colony collapse disorder is a reality,
threatening humanity's ability to thrive.
Still, you go on,
purporting that there is only one way,
only one God - a flimsy, green back dollar.

The chaos and the mayhem are reported
and received as just another day's passing,
our Earth spinning upon its own axis
and revolving around the Sun
/Son,
yet what we don't hear or read or see or feel
are the daily miracles, the abundance of LOVE
that is our birthright
and is taking place right this very moment.

"I love you,"
says your Mother.

And the killings and the shootings,
the war and the destruction
just keep on coming,
and we cry and we stifle our real emotion,
because all are judged at Heaven's gate
and there is no return pass.

Or, is there?

A true Father doesn't judge.
He loves just as unconditionally as his Feminine counterpart.

And, here your Sister sits,
waiting for you to AWAKE
and embody your namesake.

Only time will tell
our story
a tale that we can re-write now
you with your sharp, ball-pointed spear
and me with my soft, red-hot passion
only time will tell...

the real news today.

LOVE as SUCCESS

I've long held the notion that I beelieve in competition in the sense that the person
whom I am always competing with is myself.  I want to bee my best in as many moments as I possibly can.  However, when I do experience jealousy and/or envy - which are natural feelings for all human beeings - then I simply check in.  "What's going on?" I will ask myself.  "What needs do you have that aren't being met?"  In these moments, I know that my sense of inadequacy has nothing to do with anyone outside of myself.

Likewise, I've recently found myself comparing myself with others.  Again, this is a natural human tendency - the inquiry then becomes, "how can I allow myself to bee exactly who and where I am without giving my power away?"  

Our civilization is set up to diminish our power.  These power plays can bee found on stages and platforms everywhere.  With each assertion of a specific "way," a subliminal messaging that any other way of being is 'wrong' is subconsciously conveyed.

So, I was wondering as to what I have created, right here in San Diego, that has been sustainable.  It didn't take long before the answer walked right into the Lady of the Lake.  My senior citizen community of Cathedral Arms caught whiff of my scent, emanating right along with the Frankincense and Myrrh from doors found along a University Avenue.  My biggest cheerleader came in on the same day when I had applied an essential oil, blended to attract "money," to my skin.  "Cara," she cheered, in a Latin accent, "I want to buy your Lovebook.  Three copies, please.  All autographed."  She stuck twenty dollar bills in my pocket, while also pre-paying for my follow-up Lovebook.  I just smiled and surrendered.

Yesterday, I walked over to their 15-story building found at the corner of Park and University and headed up to the sala where, six years ago, I had intentionally carved out time and space for seniors to meet together, in their bodies.  Today, this essential playground remains.  Sitting in a circle of three women and three men, I gazed around the group adoringly as we sat in silent meditation.  Their deeply-lined faces sagging towards the Earth, I marveled at their unique beauty as well as collective resiliency. 

Before and after our shared meditation, we laughed uproariously at the organic follies of this motley crew.  We also talked about our lives, communicating vibrantly about nothing at all and everything all at once.  And, I sank into the deep inner knowing of  LOVE as SUCCESS.  There is nothing more.

follow the sun

"The weak can never forgive.  

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."  

--Mahatma Gandhi

"Bee your King," she channeled,
speaking for my Highest Self as my present Self sat, cross-legged, in the grass.
While telling her of my most recent commitment to align myself most intimately
with those whose Earth-based ethos and values mirror my own, the birds in the trees
began to chirp loudly, flapping their wings and fluttering about. 
"Were they doing that before?" she asks.
"No," we both notice.

She leads me through the deepest healing I have ever received.
Intuitively guided by the images that arise from the deep pit of our collective consciousness,
she is led to release too many years of toxic build-up that have meta-physically gathered, like tar, in my ears.  My tears finally runneth over when the highest selves of my parents make themselves known.  Conveying through her how they intentionally chose me as their daughter, they let me know how much my presence in their lives is needed now for our continued growth together.  Asking for my forgiveness, I quickly respond - for that path has always been an easy one.  Still, my inner child feels the need to speak up.  "I am afraid," she shares.  "I am afraid I will get hurt again." 

My best friend of fifteen years visually guides me to a meandering stream where she encourages me to pick up a rock.  "This talisman will protect you," she says, "with it, you are able to immediately take the shit and turn it into gold."  It's a practice I've had to master in this lifetime.

Today, I awake and feel the sadness of all of the destruction that has been a result of my imbalanced self.  Yet, I've discovered how to compassionately communicate my vulnerability so that those who LOVE me can show up for me.  And, they do.  With black tourmaline and white selenite gemstones in my pocket, I rise to the challenge and the opportunity.

Last week, a psychic at work shared how powerfully potent this new moon time period was to bee.  And, today, while closing "Lady of the Lake," the croaking frog that goes "ribbit" whenever someone walks by, went ribbit when I was on the farrrrrrrr side of the store.

"RIBBIT."

new moon LOVE

"Follow, follow the sun
and which way the wind blows
when this day is done.
Breathe, breathe in the air.
Set your intentions.
Dream with care.
Tomorrow is a new day for everyone,
Brand new moon, brand new sun.
So follow, follow the sun,
the direction of the bird,
the direction of love.
Breathe, breathe in the air,
cherish this moment, cherish this breath. 
Tomorrow is a new day for everyone,  
brand new moon, brand new sun.  
When you feel life coming down on you, like a heavy weight.  
When you feel this crazy society, adding to the strain.  
Take a stroll to the nearest waters and remember your place.  
Many moons have risen and fallen long, long before you came.  
So which way is the wind blowin', 
and what does your heart say?  
So follow, follow the sun,  
and which way the wind blows when this day is done..."

living in LOVE

Sturdy legs, they have carried me across thousands of Earth miles, across mountain tops, up valleys and back again.  Tonight, they carried me back to you.  My sisters, sitting over dinner, the flickering flame of candles dancing across your faces.  And I wander in from a dusk-lit, spring night, my womb heavy with flow as a full shadow dances across the moon.  You motion for me to join the laughter, as we fall just as gently into tears and release.  In the warmth of our wood-floored craftsman, a deep knowing blooms and roots deeper.  "This is it," I again softly cheer.  

Our relating quickly turns to creating as L. picks up the harmonica and belts out her powerful melodies and I sink into the comforting floor, offering my body the deep stretching it requires.  After awhile, we come to a moment when coaching is called for.  Destruction ensues as we torch the collective wounds of our past.  Then, we pick up our proverbial - and metaphorical, of course! - paint brushes and we begin to paint anew.  
"What do our highest selves see?"  
"What visions dance before our gaze?"  
"What truths shall we hold so deeply that there are no other options?"  
There are no other options.

There is no better meeting place than Universal flow.  The cosmos is where we reside for we are always connected, always vibrating in wide currents of LOVE.  Harmony is our name. 
And, it's yours, too.
All you have to do
is open up your mouth 
and sing.
 

I AM

My intention was set - I was not going to give my power away.
Yet, there I was losing my sense of Self while a way that I do not beelieve in was paraded
below a proscenium arch.  Held above my head and demonstrated as the end-goal, I naturally fell into comparison and, as I am quick to offer these days, I do not have a financial leg to stand on.
Meanwhile, the words found within my heart song had been hijacked.  "This is our tribe," a disembodied voice croaked, motioning around to a room full of strangers who spent long days together forcefully jutting out hands, shoving business cards into sweaty palms and uttering the death-chasing mantra, "What do you do?"
what do you do?
what do you do?
I LIVE.
I LOVE.
I AM. 
My eyes glossed over, my Spirit parched, I stumbled out of the experience, gasping for breath.  And, there you are - beauty-full, yet trying so hard.  "JUST BEE," I want to scream and shout, jumping up and down and raining all over your parade.  But compassion gets the better of me - it always does - and all I can do is LOVE and take my leave.  After helping me to move through a "breakthrough," Mark teared up because, as he shared, "I've spent my entire adult life trying to remember how to just bee."
JUST BEE.
So, I refrain in order to reflect and decompress.  And then, I head north where my true community awaits.  No dollars are necessary for ours is a consumer-free meeting space and a place that goes on with or without me.  I see 40+ others gathered together on a grassy knoll as I smile at my internal knowing and sense of belonging.  
I AM HOME.
I wander upon a group of three of them - as different as could bee - leaving.  They throw their arms wide open, "Cara!" they exclaim, greeting me, holding me, loving me.  Then, I walk up on US and my coaching is called upon.  "Cara, I need to talk to you."  "Cara, what do you think of this?"  
"Cara," they call.
I AM.

BEE CONTENT

“The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people.  But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind.  It needs people who live well in their places.  It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane.  And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.”  --David Orr, Ecological Literacy: Education and the Transition to a Postmodern World

And there you are.
After thousands of years, I discover you, once more,
Akmenaten
only now, even though your warrior passion is just as ferocious
as it once was and your royal stature remains
you've forgotten
the beautiful tune of your native heart song.
Today, your warble is distinct, yet marred -
an erratic rhythm it forcefully blares,
"Do not bee content."

Once upon a time you opened up your mouth and
you sang beauty across a land and a time
when greed dotted a burgeoning landscape
when disease was born and dysfunction became commonplace.
Then, you boldly stood and proclaimed a renewed way
in which the sun was the true Creator
ushering in a new era.
Embodying compassion
you reminded us of our collective ONEness
even as we are each born to make manifest different destinies. 

Thousands of years later, and you have risen once more
only now the song you sing isn't beauty-full, nor is it in the way of the Tao.
You have forgotten that - at your core and deep in your Soul - 
is a man of justice, a peaceful warrior who doesn't just chase the hunt simply for the taking.
After all these years, I find you,
but you cannot see me 
for you are blinded by illusion.

Our alignment may bee fortuitous, yes, 
but we can only move mountains and embody the dream we all dream
by sharing values and an Earth-based ethos that maintains the sacredness of All LIFE.
My dearest sleeping beauty, I await the day when you finally AWAKE
and truly rise from your centuries-long deep slumber.


"We do not need the big cars, or houses, or the thousand pairs of shoes to be regarded as successful. We have realized that beautiful experiences and stronger connections define us as successful.  We realize that a life filled with traditional tenets of success, like money, power, fame, stuff, is empty.  It reeks of discontentment.  It stutters and stammers its way to depression and anxiety.

Why are we doing the things we are doing?  It’s hard to tell the non-minimalists in our lives that we can’t do certain things - because it isn’t something we are interested in anymore - especially when it may mean losing acquaintances, friendships, and even family relations.  For we have realized what is important and what isn’t.  We are moving towards living the life we are meant to be living on this planet.  It doesn’t allow for faltering or mistakes.  It is clear-cut and it marks a clearly marked path towards peace and contentment.  The decision is yours. You have to choose between love and life. Between contentment and constant dissatisfaction with every aspect of your life.  Between stuff and minimalism."  --from Boom and Thenix

Power Play

While tasting the sweet fruit of surrender
I notice the little voices
that want to berate and put down,
"You should have learned this by now!"
is how the refrain goes, only this time
my inner mama bear is affectionately defending her cute little baby cub.
That past is over - it was burned away in the embers on Easter Sunday night.
The shame, guilt and regret are noticeably absent, too.
What remains is simply a quiet stillness.
It is what it is. 
And when it is all one has always dreamed,
what more is there?
(Icing and a cherry on top.)

On Monday night, you finally understood where I have been all these years.
"It's like I've been barely treading water," I said, "and my head keeps getting pushed
under the turbulence."  You placed your hand on my knee and I watched as the compassion moved through you, releasing your expectations, melting your resentments.   

Lately, I've been sharing how grateful I am for the friendships that have been supportive and nurturing as well as unconditionally loving over these last few years.  "Not once have I been asked or told to change," I've said, and this has been one of the most powerful examples of LOVE in my life.  I am also grateful for the relationships in which we've been moving through the hardship and the turmoil - sometimes together, other times apart.  Soon enough, we will look back and chuckle, "Remember when..." we'll say to one another as we flourish in our lives of true power.

We Have This

I set my intention,
and go.
The Universe, however, is my ultimate guide.
I simply follow where she commands.
Sometimes, life flows in the direction I intend.
Other times, not so much.

More and more, I practice letting go of what my mind
thinks it wants and of the plans it has concocted along the way as I allow my body
to bee taken where it always knew it would go - it always knows.

The beauty about metaphor is that
circumstances can always change, meanwhile the lessons remain.
There are many mountains to bee climbed - some of which are simply found in the comfort of our own homes.

Last night, I did my burning ceremony while at the Wizard's surprise birthday party where, earlier, we adults hid colored Easter eggs for the kids to discover around his and K's Vista ranch.  Afterward, the children, as well as my peers, helped to unload the weight of words and memories that I have spent far too long carrying around with me into a roaring bonfire under a starlit sky.  When all that was left was a pile of gray mass, this witch stirred the ashen cauldron - laying to rest a once wounded past, now transmuted into the future of all that is to come.

Upon leaving, I thanked my gracious hostess for her beauty and for teaching me how to love.  "Ah, girl," she sweetly responded.  I looked her in the eyes and told her how I have finally surrendered into how phenomenal this now is.  "We have this," I motioned around us, to her horses in the yard, the green foothills in the distance, and the tribe that feeds our Spirit. 

WE HAVE THIS.