Saturday, June 29, 2013

surrounded by MAGIC

"We are the universe in ecstatic motion." --O.

As I sit here on the patio of our Treehouse hOMe surrounded by a canopy of green - Eucalyptus, Fern and Palm - I am feeling into my fear.  It's a common feeling - the way it brews in my belly and how it likes to bark at my mind.  "Don't!"  "No!"  "Stop."  This week, it has been a conversational topic and we've been addressing how we have shifted into allowing our fear space within us because it is here for a reason.  It has something to say; it wants to bee expressed.  Especially in lieu of it being avoided or our pretending like it doesn't exist.  With it, we have been practicing our dance - finding balance, getting knocked off of center, seeking for something more, being present with what is.  It's a practice, I'll say.  And even with all of this fear swirling and creating chaos, leaving nothing unchanged in it's wake, we celebrate a life lived to the hilt.  Because, what else is there to do?

As I spin from place to place within the vibrant city center of San Diego, I mingle and collide with brilliance.  With shades and hues of every color; with song and dance of diverse genre, Gypsy Folk to Latin Rock; with artists and lovers and human beeings who simply want to remember how to flourish in shared harmony once more.  It is really this simple.  And, the MAGIC we create is brewed in this collective cauldron - it is specific and regional, it is circumstantial and temporal.  Our common tune right now, however, shares a similar refrain - it's a bit lilting and sad.  It needs water and nourishment, resources and materials.  It needs to bee lifted from above the veil it has been hidden under for far too long now.  OUR SONG has risen.

On Monday night, while D. shredded his electric guitar in the pub at Whole Foods, J. said, "I wish I lived during a time when music and art was our culture."  I looked him straight in the eye and said, "My brotha, it's why you are alive now - to help us all re-memba!"  WE ALL DESERVE TO FLOURISH and in our great re-membering, we honor that our highest and best good is found in sharing with each other, in co-creating more magic and harmony and in dancing both life's metaphorical ups and downs as well as on a dance floor where we are dropping out of our minds and into our bodies - EMBODYING PROSPERITY ONCE MORE. 

It's time to sing, my friends.
O. ~ Thanks for bee-ing a "bestie" - for holding space & for laying on a pitched shore at the La Jolla Cove, sinking into the sand as we feel the waves crash over us and then try to suck us out to sea......
We're holding on.


Friday, June 28, 2013

LOVE AS SEX


Truly, O. is the Warrior Goddess between us.  This was evident as we strode in the wake between the ocean and the shore yesterday, clad in our bikinis, toned strength with soft curves exuding and me just running along to keep up.  ; )  A mother of three and three years younger than me, she comes with a depth of life experiences of which I have never known.  I always marvel to her, "Wow!  I feel so wet behind the ears, naive and innocent in comparison to all you've experienced." 

By no means is there any competition between us, however.  Rather, I celebrate our differences.  I applaud how by just bee-ing herself and allowing me to run along beside her, I get to deepen my metaphorical dance with life.  There's ease and flow here, no striving to bee something other than what we are.  It's breathy and spacious.  It just is ~ kinda like life.

And what is coming up for me - loud and clear - is how I just want to make LOVE to every moment.  I want to suck the marrow out and taste as much of this as I possibly can because you never know what will come next...  Culturally, we place so much energy and emphasis on SEX, yet we have forgotten that in every moment SEX IS ON-GOING.  The act of Co-Creation - of Re-Birth and Destruction - is in Every Breath.  That Divine Dance of Masculine and Feminine, Light and Dark, Open and Closed, Penetrating and Receiving, In and Out, Out and In.

Moving from this place, we can LET GO of our objectifying another, or others; we can LET GO of needing that one, soul other  to meet all our needs (which just isn't reality); we can LET GO and JUST BEE.  Trusting that it is happening NOW.  We are deeply connected, vulnerable, open and yielding.  NOW. 
Nothing more, nothing less.

(I will see you on the [dance] floor.)


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Celebrate & Elevate

Yesterday began with news of how California's Defense of Marriage Act had been
shot down.  "Unconstitutional" it was finally declared.  YES!  Love Wins!
As I scanned the front page of the Huffington Post, I detected a number of other life-affirming posts.
"Anti-Abortion Bill Dead on the Texas Floor" YES!  And, there was this video...of four babies - a chimpanzee, a wolf pup and two tigers, all playing together in harmony.  This sweet clip brought tears to my eyes.  YES!  June 26th, 2013 was a day for celebration.  And, as I briefed myself on my Facebook newsfeed this morning, I noticed how many of us felt the collective shift in our elevated consciousness yesterday. 

So, we celebrated with my walking over here to my soul sistar O's where we enjoyed an organic lunch of greens and homemade pesto as well as worked side-by-side - me on our two computers and her a much-needed nap on the couch.  Once the heat of mid-day had past, we headed west, towards the beach to dive in and cool off.  While we laid under a southern sun's warm, summer rays, with me on my sarong and her in the sand, I laughed heartily as I watched my new friend M. stroll along the shore.  Catching each other from a distance, we waved and he soon joined us. 

I met him a week ago; a strong, younger brother keen to join me for hours of smash ball and curious about my life and all of the beauties who make up my tribe.  "Join us!" I told him and he did, arriving at Dance Church on Sunday, unknowing yet willingYesterday, he was in Ocean Beach to meet up and practice Acro-Yoga with a gorgeous, young woman he had met at Dance on Sunday.  "PERFECT," was the song playing out in my bikini-clad BodyMind.  And, I just laugh.  "It's just like us, O,"  I told her.  "When I tried to force friendship between us it wasn't working - literally, our time wasn't coinciding.  Yet, when I just went about my life with trips to Sprouts! and People's, there you were."  "Yeah," she responded.  "The Universe always decides," we agreed.

Eventually, we made our way through the Wednesday afternoon's Farmer's Market, munching on apricots, blueberries and Bolivian nuts, oh my!  A local "Ukrainian" Gypsy band was rocking that infamous street corner - a favored dance floor for years now.  We dropped in, doing what we do - feeling and bee-ing the moment and the music.  Divine Instruments ~ LOVE Flows Through.  And, there you are - a beautiful man I had mentioned to O.  You stroll up just like I figured would happen, one of these days eventually.  Our chemistry palpable and our honesty unabashed.  We meet, we connect, we dance, we part.  Perfect. 

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

BULLY

Have I shared with you that I was raised by a bully?
In fact, I just now got off of the phone with her and it was, true to form, a hair raising experience.
Walking through South Park, into North Park and then over to City Heights - where I now
sit typing this - all the while engaging with my mother in honest, real dialogue over the telephone was quite a work-out.  The thing about bullies is that allowing for their anger by simply embodying non-violence doesn't work.  They just keep on raging - the lava spewing from their mouths, and sometimes bodies, and violently exploding all over everything in their near vicinity.  Defending and protecting oneself is essential, otherwise one can get badly burned, or even die.  I CHOOSE A LIFE LIVED TO THE FULLEST IN EVERY MOMENT and with the acknowledgment that death may come in the next moment but to hell if I am not going down in flames!!!! 

Today, I rose to defend myself as I kept pushing for the metaphorical mirror to be reflected in her direction.  "I've never been as rageful as you are!" she fumed.  "Mother, do you notice how we began our conversation talking about how depressed, frustrated and unhappy you are and how, now, you are pointing your finger at me?" I asked.  This was after I had steered the conversation away from the number one outlet for all of her blame and anger - my father.  Forty plus years of the same song and dance and, still, the tune hasn't changed. 

Growing up, I knew all too well the feelings of: my hair being pulled, my face being slapped, my naked ass and thighs being struck with a leather belt, and a bar of soap being dragged back and forth across my teeth.  Yeah.  Anger sucks.  When I was old enough to start physically fighting back - because what person in their right mind would allow for such violence to continue to bee perpetuated against their own body? - my own father threatened to kick me out of the house.  Yeah.  Emotional abuse is the worst.  It erodes all confidence and makes clarity in decision making murky, to say the least.

 "You don't have a damn thing to show for your life!" she judged.  "We don't share the same values," I told her.  "I am surrounded by true wealth - by LOVE," I said.  "It's all I have ever wanted and I am happy.  Plus, you have all that you are accusing me of not having yet you are unhappy, so what's the deal?"  

I was drenched in sweat as we rode a conversational wave that had a deafening pitch - one of which I'd really rather not enter into, yet there I was staying with it so that I could come back down and into LOVE once more.  It's not fun nor something I enjoy doing but, as LIFE has taught me, I can choose short term discomfort in lieu of long-term suffering.  

We are surrounded by bullies, my friends - many of whom are wolves in sheep's clothing.  Yes, we can empathize with their pain and we can continue cultivating compassion for their sadness.  Nonetheless, keep your senses attuned - for they are the ones who supposedly work against violence, yet who violently perpetuate that which they say they are against in a myriad of ways.  

It looks like drones, "smart" bombs & weaponry of all kinds, etc.  It looks like money being diverted to certain areas and not into others.  It also looks like spreading gossip and talking negatively about others.  Bullies ask much of others while giving little to nothing in return.  They think only of themselves and their needs.  Stay alert.  Give LOVE.  And CHALLENGE GROWTH AND TRUE TRANSFORMATION WHERE NEED BEE.  It's the most courageous act you can commit.



Tuesday, June 25, 2013

No Need for Worry

"June 24-30:  Celebrate transition. Bee grateful.  Pay attention to details.  This is kind of a last call and chance for clearing the old and making important choices that will put you where you want to bee in the future.  This time calls for courage as well as power, commitment and discipline.  If you said you wanted it, now is when you commit and follow your intention with the discipline it requires in order to make it happen.  Spirit will respond to your prayers and support your change and transition.  This is definitely a time where you could see the light at the other end of the tunnel.  Keep working on those patterns and never look back.
Thank you for reading.  If this forecast came to you through a forward or share and if you wish to receive other updates via email please go to our website and sign up www.thepowerpath.com"

So, I forgot that I bleed and that with it comes more than just an everyday consistency of ____________________________________________________________________.
During my last cycle, I was full-on depleted with a migraine one day and a dull, throbbing head for the other three days.  I was pretty miserable, thus I vowed to myself that I was going to bee sure to consume lots of BEETS (because it makes sense to my intuition to replenish myself with fluid the color of what I am losing.)  Then, Sunday happened and there I am at Dance Church absolutely amazed to find blood on my underwear.  Oh LIFE ~ you are just so funny!!!!!  I wasn't prepared to say the least.

On Monday, O. picked me up proclaiming she had made a beet & apple juice that she would share with me.  At C's house, she proclaimed that I could take some of the Beet salad she had just made up to the mountains with us.  Of course, I never shared with either of them my vow from less than a month before.  I need not.  For I can simply trust that the Universe has my back.  All we have to do is live in harmony, declare our intentions and keep moving forward with eyes on our gentle feet.  There is no need for worry.

Gladuation

Once I was sad & suffering
Friday night, while at the Local Earth beach bonfire in OB,
two of my dance community members casually strolled up to our raging fire.
"Hey, there's A & C," I told B.
"Who?" he asked, as I just laughed at his inability to immediately connect the dots.

Joining our intimate group of five on our Mexican blanket, C, a sweet, soul sister who recently left SD for Marin County, and I reflected on how long we have known each other. 
"Yes, Cara," she said, "I do remember you when you were with your ex.  My what a whole, different woman you are today."

FOUR YEARS AGO.
A Gladuation has occurred.

My heart was hurting then and my Spirit was heavy.
Dis-ease does that to a Soul.  
The dis-ease of fear and of perpetuating long-term suffering by avoiding short-term pain.
The dis-ease of not listening to one's own, unique heart  ~ no matter how loudly it sings, and demands that you get up and try, damn it!

To celebrate this marker, O. and I picked up soul sistah Luvlee's two boys and we drove east yesterday, headed towards Cuyamaca and Green Valley Falls.  It's a place where memory and the present moment collide.  For me, it's a hOMe, where I sank into the Earth in 1986, sleeping under the stars in a sleeping bag, playing in the gurgling falls and making my first pre-sunrise hike in order to catch the brilliance of a rising sun, as an impressionable, young ten-year-old away from the chaos of my parent's home.  After the blazing inferno of 2003 decimated those pine tree forests, I returned to discover that like those charred mountainsides, I too felt hollow and burned.  Spiritually bankrupt.

Yesterday though, I rejoiced for the region has REGENERATED.  Lush, green growth fills in where the pointed trunks of burned trees remain.  It's a haunting metaphor to witness the decayed structures still standing as new life rushes to fill in the spaces in between.  And, it also fills my Soul with a straight, shot of HOPE.  We can do this too, ya know?  

The boys had never been to a water fall.  In the car ride up, they were skeptical.  "I want to make a portal and go into a video game," G. said.  "This is your portal," I replied, motioning to the car around us.  "And, we are headed in to the best video game EVER!!!!!"  "Yeah, right," the boys quipped back.  So, the boys and I traversed upstream, climbing rocks, sliding down small falls, playing in the frigid water, basking on sun-warmed rocks like lizards, observing tadpoles, dragonflies and bluebirds, oh my!  "This is the best day ever!" they were both soon cheering, as I sat with the most satisfied and selfish smirk on my face.  

We also made friends with our neighbors for the day.  Three years old and brave, little Lila made her way over to me.  "I wanna bee with her," she said to her mommy, as I sat, browning my skin in the sun with my snake amulet on my arm.  "Of course," I told her mother, "for she is a little Warrior Goddess in training."  So, she took my hand, and when my loud laughter poured forth she mimicked me with her own deep and guttural guffaw.   

I am well aware of what is taking place in our world.  My politics remains unchanged.  I participate less because I sense what is coming.  I dive in deeper because I sense what is coming.  For now, however, I celebrate and enjoy the ride.  Soon, perhaps, we will meet ~ underground and hidden.  Until then, power your Source Up!  




Monday, June 24, 2013

Super MOOn LOve


The sirens are still blaring after a full-on weekend
of Soular energy, reviving our Spirits, bringing us back from the dark
renewing us once more.  Until the planet spins again, back out into orbit,
and away from our center.  For now, however, we celebrate.

Riding the waves, these currents of LOVE, as they ebb and flow,
bob and weave, witnessing the mystery as it unfolds,
both within and without.  Yesterday, I re-discovered that I too am full,
like that moon as crimson red dotted my teal-blue dance pants. 
For a moment, I thought that I had to hide it and feel shame and guilt, but then I remembered that this is the biggest lie of all.

I am hiding less these days.  

I laughed at the appearance of my menses, and how I had recently typed that I was a 'woman.' 
Yet, here I am, living so presently, that my symptoms - of feeling really bitchy - were a peculiar and head-scratching oddity.  Wtf? 

Still, I am leaning into and preferring my authenticity.  It's a bit bold and wayyy outside the box.
Yet, I no longer know how to hold it in; those sensory receptors that once said, "No! You're going to fart! No!" " Squeeze.  Contract.  Hold in.  Embarrassing.  Shameful."  No longer even go off.
I just am. 

Kinda like you. 

You just are.  As I see you sitting on the grassy knoll, in the large group that I sit with too.  And I prefer that we just let each other bee, without a fake hug or acknowledgment of each other.  We know we are there and that is enough.  We can both bee in this world - without our needing to interact or pretend.  Because, in our striving to bee more that what we are, it hurts.  Yet, without shared values there is no common denominator to keep coming back to.  So, we just keep on, marching forward, to the tune of our own rhythms.  You over there and me right here.  And, it's perfect.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

One Earth Cry ~ UP


The din of voices rings upstairs.
A full day spent expending my reserve of
yang energy - now emanating from me full force.
I am so exhausted I could cry...
like a baby, hungering for sleep yet too keyed up
so, instead, it whimpers and screams.
Perhaps, I will scream myself to sleep tonight.

It's been a week of allowing ~
allowing myself to feel my triggers.
I finally realized that, rather than immediately
judging my own judgments as "bad" or "wrong"
and immediately transmuting them into 'light' or 'love,'
perhaps allowing myself to fully take in the information
that is being conveyed will offer me more opportunity to grow.

Mainly, though, it's got me feeling hard.
Like a stale bread
that isn't very palatable.
I prefer soft.
Yet, that imbalance didn't seem to work, either.
There must be a middle ground in here,
somewhere.

While at OB's great chili cook-off, M. and I played catchup.
"I can feel your sadness," she said.
"I just want peace," I cried.  "Yet, it seems that I am at war
with the aspects of myself that I judge as being violent and destructive."
Meow.

And, it all just is.
Perhaps, this is the space of true equanimity.
S. said that allowing others to bee exactly as they are is liberation.
Meanwhile, tonight, D. continued to proclaim that, "If the entire planet focused on
raising its vibration, we will experience Heaven on Earth."
I've been living in paradise for decades now.

Nonetheless, forests are still being cut down at an alarming rate.
Indigenous peoples lands continue to be taken by force by some corporate conglomerate
claiming 'evolution' and 'progress.'  Me?  I am just willing to call
bullshit for what it is.  Imperialism, colonialism and entitlement makes for a very dull boy. 

I have danced and I have sang for thousands of hours.
My vibration is raised.
What's needed is a collective call for tears.
One Earth Cry to shed this wound, to purge this deep sorrow and grief,
to honestly and authentically address that this shit ain't working and it's all fucked up.
The beauty in vulnerability of this magnitude is that there is only one way to go from here ~
UP.



Saturday, June 22, 2013

ON FIRE


Ravens caw
outside the French doors of my room,
announcing the arrival of another
blessed day.
Upstairs
my housemates and visting guests gather,
sipping coffee and tea, plucking keys on a keyboard,
tending to the everyday of their virtual lives.

S. is here and there is deep satisfaction in knowing
that we can heal old wounds, we can forgive the mis-steps 
of our past and that we can move forward, together.

The only thing is - shared values is an essential part of the peace.
If your value is money and material resources,
then you are unavailable to experience real Friendship.  
For within such a finite value system, there will always be 'scarcity.'

S. and I were discussing yesterday about supposed world-known and "successful" Transformative Thought Leaders who are stingy where money is concerned and who respond like crying babies whenever they do not get their way.  This isn't TRANSFORMATION, yo!  
(It's more of the same.)
TRUE LOVE is Earth-based.

Yesterday, B. implored that I let go of my illusion that
I am a monster.  This was before I intuitively asked for what
I have been needing - someone at my side to help me bare down
and give birth to the extraordinary babies I have been nourishing
inside of me for far too long now.  "You can do this," he compassionately said,
as he mopped my brow while I gritted my teeth, caught up within the full throes
of labor. 

He's attentive and loving - the Father-figure I have been seeking.
Yet, I feel incapable of returning the gentle LOVE that he is so willing to give.  
Therefore, I only allow myself to take so much.  
For I am no longer a girl child.
I am a woman.  
Clear in my desires.  Confident in my abilities.  
And, ON FIRE.
Watch me now!!!!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Hot Snakes


That almost full, Gibbous moon hangs high on the hill.  The city is on fire with sirens screeching and people slamming into each others' existences.  I strolled through it doing what I have done for years now; hanging fliers in local establishments.  Taping my posters in the only spaces available which just so happened to bee beside yours.  There's a fierceness that comes with having been so destructively used, yet laughing it all off like water off of a Duck's back.  Still, my Warrior Goddess was shining with each powerful footfall through the city center.  Whatever this is, it's potent.  And, damn, if it doesn't all lead back to snakes...

Committed to this SUMMER OF LOVE, my next rite of passage will bee passed come the season's end.  A new marker for defining this past year will be consciously applied to my body.  A wearable art and my first piece.  It's a defensive pair of spectacled eyes.  Black and white and applied to royalty, its a strategic move for protection.  When you see it, you'll know to bow down, acknowledge our connection and make like friendsGoddess knows, its the smartest move you'll ever make.

Re-Generation

Goddess sculpture, 7th-8th Century BCE, from Catal Huyuk

Selfishly, I asked for that which I needed most.
A safe container to hold my pain, where my tears can spill forth.

In our old home, on 22nd Street, a Feminist Collective has taken root.
It's the seed we planted and watered together last year - with K's intention, we sat down
to circles and ceremony beginning on that day when Mars transited Venus.
My sisters K, H, M, C, S, L & myself - making music, holding space, dancing, churning the cauldron.
Now, seven, young women live and heal together, once more.
The next generation of Medicine Women.

And, I get to serve - offering sacred ceremony with receptive repose, allowing what bubbles
forth while stirring the potions and remedies that this now asks for.
Last night, it was wailing and beeing held.
Releasing what needs expression before the Super Moon of Summer Solstice arrives on our doorstep this weekend.
Expelling this cough that has taken my lungs hostage (aka grief),
I wrote what was on my heart as instructed by my co-creator - one of the most bad ass, college graduates I have the pleasure of knowing. 

"I see those I have Loved, and I feel pain that we can not bee together as we once were
because our relating hurts," I wrote.  "I feel taken from and discarded.  I feel so much sadness.
It's a wound that keeps getting reopened.  I give, he takes.  I share, she abuses.  And I feel scared
that I will repeat the pattern of not defending and protecting myself and
MY MOST BEELOVED PLANET
."


Deep in our collective Soul, we transmuted our global sorrow into laughter - like matter into ether.  Then, we concluded our shared release with a naked baptism in the mighty Pacific.  Streaking the Ocean Beach shore, the waxing Moon's light illumined our Goddess bodies as we shrieked, hollered and hooted.  Howling and re-membering.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

give a damn

"Take a harder road
than the one you took before...
because you're older now,
and you're smarter now
you're stronger now, 
yeah.

The tree grows high
when the roots go deep,
your peace will come
but it won't come cheap
if you take this hand and
you play for keeps,
and you give a damn...

You've been hiding out
you've been holding back your love
I could teach you how
but you'd have to let me touch
and not run away
on the seventh day
though you feel afraid"

Sunday at the Park, and I invited C. in for conversation
around the recent dissolution of a relating-ship.
"Sounds like you're warring with yourself," he said.
Grrrrr...
"No, I'm not!" I immediately protested.
Ha!

This is why I call him, and many like him, "Brother."
Because they hold me accountable by applying a respectful dose of
'kick in the pants' when it's needed.  M. did it last night.
"Bee gentle," he advised.  "You're too hard on yourself."
How well they know me after years of relating.

O. and I have been talking about the illusions that keep each of us
un-present - the fantasy visions for how it will bee because it somehow
isn't absolutely perfect right now.  And I have to admit to my own ambition,
to my artist's heart who needs to express and give birth to creation in this lifetime.
It keeps me a bit distant and certainly feeling like I can't commit to anything or
anyone but this... dream.

So, I pulled the "Authority" card from the Psychic Oracle Deck yesterday,
while enjoying a little potlucking and caravan-warming in Ocean Beach.
"You need to bee the father figure in your life," it read.
"How can I bee that which I have never known?" I asked KT this morning.

I guess, the thing is, that I miss you, Daddy - my defender who protected me from
abuse and neglect, the vicious claws and painful bites of the raging Feminine,
unbridled and chaotic.  The provider who demonstrates by his actions the process
of alchemy - turning shit into gold - with passionate purpose.
So, here I go... to embody that which I have never known.

"The price you pay along the way
makes what you get more sweet..."



Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Celebrate Sumer


The sun stays high in the horizon
'till long after I've sat down to enjoy a homecooked
meal with my High Priestess and her three golden children.
We sing praise to the Goddess for our nourishment, then laugh and burp
as time passes, tick tock, tick tock.

Night falls, and we crawl up together in front of a computer screen,
watching a child's tale about the power of imagination,
TRUE LOVE and polarity magic.  
Imagine that?

Awaking to two partially naked girls, running and jumping,
blowing raspberries on my belly and sticking their hands down my shirt,
"BOOBIES!"
(We ALL Love Them!),
and summer has never been sweeter.

Freedom is here.
How will you taste it?

And, just six short months ago, it was the darkest time of the year.
The dis-ease was rampant and the destruction was cutting its swath,
as an ancient calendar was crumbling. 

Today, however, BALANCE is finding its equilibrium once more.
As we toss and turn like feathers floating on the breeze, wafting into and out of
each other's lives until the secret code finds its lock once more.
"Ka-ching."
Tick tock, tick tock...




Monday, June 17, 2013

dolphins dance


dolphin image found here
"It's Sumer* time!" the Bringer of Light recently texted.  Though, with Father's Day, his texts were much bigger proclamations.  "I AM," they read, "the Sun."  Our last phone conversation centered on Him, an ancient King re-born, he must reunite with his Divine other half.  She is, perhaps, every young man (and woman's) modern-day Nefertiti, a precious pop star who inspires new hair trends by day and who, by night, drinks herself into a forgetful oblivion. 

As always, I remain open to it all as I simply practice LOVE with as many who I allow entrance, and vice-versa, into the deep caverns of my HEart.  When I had informed that, of course, I was practicing polarity magic - here and now - his eyebrows raised.  Nonetheless, there is some vision in his mind that keeps him preoccupied, not present ~ unavailable"Your Queen is within YOU," I silently shout.  Yet, best I can ever do is to EMBODY it all as a model my Self.  

DANCE is the space and time when I do exactly this.  I am a KING to my sisters as I lift and twirl them around a dance floor while openly and authentically celebrating their sacred sexiness.  And then, as I surrender the totality of my weight and give my essence to my brothers, I witness their royalty rising once more in the act of supporting and honoring my Divine Feminine.  It's a beautiful balance, like dolphins diving over and around each others' slick bodies.  "And around and around and around, we go...tell me now, tell me now, tell me now, you know." 

At the conclusion of our two-hour dance church session yesterday, our diverse group of fathers were invited into the center of our large circle where we listened to them offer words of wisdom and, then, we sang to them the reminder that they are hOMe - both in our hearts and in this very moment, now.  A few women were bereft with tears and memories for the fathers they have lost in this lifetime.  I felt strangely at peace even with the knowing that my own dad was only ~20 miles away, continuing to choose a life with little meaning yet with all the modern-day contraptions and with a woman who has spent 40+ years emotionally abusing - castrating - him, over and over again.

Afterward, C. and I enjoyed a hearty breakfast of Americana at Honey's Cafe.  As we set foot in the downtown Encinitas establishment, RiRi's voice comes over the airwaves - like clockwork.  I stood there transfixed, straining to listen over the din of so many consumers, caught in between reality and mythology. 

At the beach, I dropped into my warrior goddess with hours spent playing smash ball on the shore.  Little compares to chasing after balls... though, being chased comes in close at second.  Close to sunset, we ran and dove into the ocean.  Jumping onto your slick back, I asked you to bee my dolphin - as we caught waves and were tumbled like clothes in a drier.  We just laughed.  And your sweetness drips like the salt water off of our wet bodies as we conclude another phenomenal day with vegan junk food and boatloads of laughter.  "I want you to stay..."


*Sumer ~ Ancient Babylon where women's birth of language, numbers, plant identification & more gave rise to agriculture.

**DOLPHIN MEDICINE READING HERE

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Birds of All Types


We call her "Frizzle."  When I first moved in to the Tree House, she had already begun plucking the abundant, gray feathers that cover her once voluptuous body - marring her vibrant Self, she now looks like a haggard chick.  As the days have turned into weeks, she has taken to remaining in the coop - sitting on her nest like a diligent mother, patiently awaiting the arrival of her next chick.  Unfortunately, there are no roosters on hand and all her brooding will do is drive her insane as well as starved to death.  Frizzle is frazzled and, like any loving caretaker, I worry for her well-beeing.

The other night, KT told me Frizzle's story.  Once an award-winning, show bird, she was a Queen of the roost who has tattooed markers on her right leg to prove it.  Last year, she had hatched a baby girl, and adoringly cared for her.  But then a raccoon made its way into the coop and killed her baby, taking it for food without any pause for concern.  Frizzle just hasn't been the same ever since.  Yesterday, as I padded into the coop, forcing Frizzle from the egg she was sitting on while sadly reflecting on our predicament, a thought arose, "WE NEED A ROOSTER."  Someone to fertilize her so at least, for God's sake, she can try again!  "And, if she dies in the process," I told my housemate, "then at least she died trying!" 

Not long after this conversation, I strolled over to the annual Historic House Fair in South Park, meeting up with my High Priestess O. and her girls.  "Carat Cake!" her youngest exclaims, calling me by the nickname she has lovingly bestowed upon me, as she tossed her arms wide for a great, big hug.  Slowly, we began to move to the reggae rhythms that were pouring forth from the stage.  The last act of the day and, of course, it was a groovy sound led by a dark-featured beeauty.  I could even hear the infamous Beastie Boy's lyrics ringing through my BodyMind, "He's just my type!"  Ai.  Their female promoter for the day was hawking their CDs amongst us locals.  I asked about the band whose merchandise she held in her hand.  "The Roosters they are," she said.  "Of course they are!" I chirped in silent response.  Ai, ai, ai.

On the way over to the next park and Saturday, summer concert, I shared with O. my findings.  "The thing is," I told her, "that the Universe is always conspiring."  "And, we can let go of holding on to any one person, or band, or moment, or whatever.  We can allow the experience to bee received, fully.  By acknowledging it.  Honoring it.  Loving it.  And then, LETTING IT GO."  The era of our pain and suffering is long past.   

NOW, WE FLOURISH.  With Roosters and Chickens and Birds of All types.  With men and women, sisters and brothers, children and senior citizens.  With all creatures, great and small.  With an Earth-based ethos and AUTHENTIC POWER as our guide.  WITH TRUE LOVE AS OUR ONE AND ONLY TRUE NORTH.  So shall it BEE and SO IT IS.

(ZION IS HERE.
Yes, she is.)

Saturday, June 15, 2013

SPIRIT DANCEs



I know I have bounced back to my vitality when I hit my bed after my roommate has gone to sleep and I awake hours before her, staking claim to the quiet morning with my typical Dragon, yang energy which keeps me diligently padding both my 3-story house as well as our Fern-tree lined neighborhood, making coffee, walking, writing & reflecting, stretching and, even, working.  Sitting in this South Park tree canopy, even the birds have yet to rise to their morning songs on this Saturday.  Seemingly, I am "alone...."

And, what did I do with my FREEDOM come Friday?  I danced, stretched and breathed on our wood-floor meeting space with my housemate and her 8-month old.  I have yet to write about my connection with this growing boy-child.  It is deep, it is old and it is a Soul connection.  We lock eyes and our Souls dance.  Essence sees itself.  The male sages I know of would call it 'Awareness' or the 'I.'  I don't need to call it anything.  While we sang and danced to the Dead Can Dance (yes, they can!) yesterday, I was told that this one-day man was named after the Archangel who once shone before Mary, announcing that her womb was full of the Sun of God.  Hmmm... 

I finally took a bath - my first in almost two-months! - then I rode my electric blue cruiser over to see my favorite senior citizen friends.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover a new facilitator holding their weekly meditation space.  He was organized and prepared with his laptop and speakers proudly playing two brief meditations, including John Kabat Zinn's "Moment by Moment by Moment."  He also showed us a few minutes of Thich Nhat Hahn speaking about 'wrong perception.'  ("There is neither non-beeing nor bee-ing....That is Nirvana.")

Summer is almost here bringing with it a visit with the woman whom I began the Prosperity Hive with.  How healing that is!  Yesterday, I said to KT that I felt strongly connected to my own Personal Practice, in terms of my balancing the movement of my body with the movement of my mind.  Thus, it is perfect that the person whom I projected my own lack of a practice onto - and thus created a lot of pain and suffering with - will bee here this coming week.  Full Circle! 

Last night, as my High Priestess O. and I arrived into DanceJam! - another local, Soul garden that I once more actively helped to water - I sank into the fact that 1.) not only am I so damn turned on! but 2.) I am surrounded by a field of dark-haired beauties who are also on FIRE and 3.) that the SUCCESS I also feel most (in regards to the past ten years of my life) is MY DANCING. 

When I left college with a degree in Modern Dance, I never imagined I would dance the way I do today.  Sure, I LOVE my personal Dance with the floor - my Snake Dance, my Primal Fluidity, my soaking into and making LOVE to the HONEY and ~WOW!~ so do my sisters.  (Although, right now, I am really out of shape!  I know this not because of how my body looks but because of how hard the floor feels!)   AND, I LOVE DANCING WITH OTHERS. 

Naturally, there is the flying and the big lifts with Steve-o and the Acro-Contact that I have created on his shoulders and over his head.  Yeah, it feeds my need for rush and adrenaline.  (See?  YANG energy.)  And, there are my dances with men who have yet to really master the flourish of the partner dance, still we dance and we seemingly flow into and out of each others' personal spaces.  Last night, I exclaimed to Y., "I love dancing with beautiful, strong men!" to which smiled hugely and received.  "This meets so many needs of mine," I chirped, and all he can do is reflect this light and enjoy the ride!  I left the studio last night, proclaiming to O. THAT "THIS IS THE SUMMER OF LOVE."

ENJOY THE RIDE, FRIENDS.
Moment by moment by moment, THIS IS IT.
DANCE & SING ~ PRACTICE FREEDOM & BEE HARMONY.
(And watch the film "Baraka," if you haven't yet)

Friday, June 14, 2013

Sacred Partnership: A Renewed Model


image from: http://www.transformationtarot.com/CONIUNCTIOMAJMIN.html
The Universe acts.
All I can do is respond.
Yesterday, the Ancient Queens of Egypt book walked right out the store door,
and I followed along behind it not too long after - having been given a mandatory out.
It stung and it hurt, and I laughed and I chuckled, tossing my arms wide to the sky.
"I am once again FREE!"  ("Now, embody that, Cara!" I immediately thought to myself as I reflected on my blog post from yesterday morning.)

"Bringer of Light" you came in first, however - giving me the best hugs yet,
speaking about numerology and sacred numbers.  "It's all about polarity," you said.
"Yes," I agreed, "I have been practicing."  Your  eyes shot up, inquiringly.
"IT'S POWERFUL MAGIC," I simply stated, as I intuited your desire. 

What I want to convey to you, dear Blog reader, is that I hope you do not mis-take
my passion for anger.  All of my words about WOMAN AS GOD is simply one person's attempt at balancing the scales.  There's been thousands of years, and billions of stories, that attest otherwise.  Personally, I simply feel called to sound the trumpet of re-membering. 

Fortunately, I am surrounded by a diversity of people who do not think or do as I do and who, thus, keep me in check - for what I am not interested in is perpetuating dominant paradigm of any oppressive dogma or fear of life of any kindGod is God is God - no matter what you call it or what invisible clothes it is wearing.  In the end, it is all the same - we each die, taking with us the stories we created in this lifetime while leaving behind a treasure trove of relating-ship.

Rather, what I am interested in re-claiming is SACRED PARTNERSHIP - from Margaret Starbird's Magdalene's Lost Legacy: Symbolic Numbers and the Sacred Union in Christianity: 
"It is my conviction that Christianity at its inception included the celebration of the hieros gamos, the "sacred marriage" of opposites, a model incarnate in the archetypal bridegroom and his bride...This model of unity tragically lost in the cradle of Christianity, is patterned on the fundamental blueprint for life on our planet...Sacred partnership was not invented in the first century.  It was ritually celebrated in many regions of the Near East long before the advent of Christianity...the blessing derived from the "sacred marriage" spread out from the "bridal chamber" to the land, bringing fertility and well-being to people and to their crops and herds." 

"In Jungian terminology, harmonizing the opposing principles is the desired goal of each individual personality and spreads from each person out into the community, ultimately transforming the world.  It is also found as a fundamental and cherished tenet of medieval alchemy - the coniunctio of the sun and the moon, often depicted as the archetypal king and queen in intimate embrace." 

(Thus, please don't mis-take my fingernails now painted in GOLD as vanity. 
Rather, it is simply me RE-MEMBERING.
)




Thursday, June 13, 2013

WILD RIDE

"No matter where I roam
every single soul
is a poem
that is written on the back of God's hand."  
--Michael Franti

In the past, you may have read some of my words railing against the modern-day museum and the perpetuation of an art that isn't allowed to live and die.  Paintings, like the Mona Lisa for example, are prized possessions, yet what is its inherent worth?  In comparison, Michael Franti's Stay Human album rocked my world wide open ten years after it was produced, giving life and breath to the feelings and thoughts that held my anti-all-systems-of-oppression body captive.  Truly, DANCE AND SONG IS THE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF FREEDOM & UNIVERSAL HARMONY.  So, I 'fell hard' for Franti - visiting the Bay Area the same weekend of his FREE 'Power to the Peaceful' Concert held in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park as well as purchasing a DVD about his trip to Iraq where he brought the healing power of music to both the soldiers and the innocents on the streets.  Swoon....

Today, one of my newest housemates asked me how I was feeling.  Caught in an early morning, mid-act of sweeping the tiled, upstairs rooms, I held the broom in my hand up and declared, "THE WITCH IS BACK."  Yesterday, after spending the morning in bed (unheard of for this early bird), I decided enough was enough and went to my special park for my personal practice.  Upon my return, my other housemate mentioned that my bug moved through me quite quickly.  "I simply decided that it was time to move on," I told her in response.  

Along my stroll through South Park yesterday, I was reflecting on this bug of mine and I guess I was hoping that I was expelling the years of cowardice that had taken up sick space inside of me.  So, along my walk, I celebrated the ten years it has been since I first moved to the downtown SD area and all of the successes that I have reveled in since.  It's a SUCCESS that I have defined for myself and, I think, the crux of it is this: More than anything, it is how I have peeled back years of layers and senses of Self, dozens of personalities and characters, that have formed walls around my heart, and I've been able to really see, feel, taste, touch, experience and BEE my essence (which I beelieve to bee all of ours) - which is SWEETNESS.   

I also reflected on all of the hard edges, the painful collisions, the pitfalls, and the seeming 'darkness' and 'destruction' and as to how all of these play their parts and their roles perfectly, too.  Truly, this is the equanimous state of 'no right or wrong,' no bad or good.  So, it beecomes then not a question of whether or not war can bee eradicated but rather whether or not FORGIVENESS can bee cultivated.  Because right along with all of the successes over these past ten years, there has also been many 'failures' - falling into a pit of anxiety and depression; car wrecks; mindless borrowing leading to overwhelming debt; spiritual bankruptcy; refusing to act and do what needs to be done to truly take care of myself; co-dependency and allowing for abuse; and more.  It's been a WILD ride, to say the least, and  
I bow down and honor all of it. 


"Say, I ain't trying to bother you
so why you gotta bother me?
What goes on in your bedroom
ain't no mess to me.
You say your God don't like my God
'cause you don't like my friends
but your friends tryin' to kill a man
and I don't understand,
cuz it aint' about who you love
it's all about DO YOU LOVE.
DO YOU LOVE?"



 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

perspective


(The Powers of Ten - an "old school," astro-physical, short film that enlightens its viewers with a renewed sense of 'perspective.')

I've spent a lot of the last two days laying around.  Oh, the stuff that is held in this BodyMind (SoulSpirit)!  Thoughts, memories, a sub-conscious and an un-conscious - its all had a tale to tell, as I have simply surrendered to the coughing and the mucus, to the chills and the sweats.  It has been years since I have suffered through such common cold symptoms.  In the process, I recalled the above video which was just one of many teaching tools when I worked as an instructor at Idyllwild's Astro-Camp.

There is a wider perspective I wanted to offer about our favorite Sundays in the Park, as well.  After Dance Church on Sundays, a group of sometimes 40+ of us descend on a grassy knoll that is located just beside a sprawling temple grounds - a self-realization fellowship that a Yogi created in the early 20th century - on a bluff high above the cool Pacific Ocean.  Highway 101 passes right in front where a tree trunk recently carved into the shape of a Maori rock sits stoic and proud. This past Sunday, I was draped in black, attempting to soak up as much of the emerging sun's rays as possible as I also enjoyed a 360 degree view of life that far surpasses anything a television set could ever offer.  

A. the actor brought his box of vivid-hued puppets, thus a group of adults and children sat together, speaking in strange voices while acting out comedic antics.  This small group of hooligans was comprised of a well-known local Belly Dancer, two conscious hip-hop artists, the L.A. actor/comedian, and a 10-year-old.  They mimed out a short skit as another group of children sat mesmerized in amusement.  On the other side of me was a maze of thick, flat ropes strategically tied to tree trunks.  On top of these brilliant colored lines, people walked and practiced their 'Slacklining' skills.  Like professional artists, a few of the hard-bodied young men are quite adept at bouncing with their full bodies along the line, from horizontal to vertical and from air bound to Earth bound. 

Walking down the steep staircase at the top of the bluff, I noticed a past Lover working the Lifeguard Tower.  The water is glassy and the waves are banging.  Surfers glint in the distance as I ask about the film crew on the beach.  "They're filming a documentary about Polyamory," he tells me.  "Yeah, it's a Showtime show," I say.  "Those are them," I tell him, as he inquires if it is the couple I had told him about. 

"Did you make it to the Blank Tapes show?" he asks.  "Yeah, I made it in to say 'hey' to Matt."  "That was cool of him to text you," he says, as we reminisce about the time when I had a space to offer traveling musicians a place to stay for the night.  When Matt and Pearl spent the night at the Hive, I didn't even make it back to meet them.  Thus, A. went with me to the Void a few weeks back to finally meet this consummate artist.  While we were siting in the darkened bar together, sipping on water, I shared that my goal and intention remains - to once again co-create a groovy SD space where gypsies and bards can land.  We left the bar early that night, and as we pulled away, I noticed that your band was playing in the joint just down the block.  And I laughed....

Monday, June 10, 2013

"SICK"

I have a bug.
It's been awhile since I have felt the symptoms of a virus. 
I pride myself on my vibrant health (if you haven't noticed), thus being knocked down by a runny nose, a cough and lethargy is an intriguing pill to swallow.  "Why am I sick?" is how the refrain goes.  Being a natural pessimist (look at the corners of my lips - their downturned nature give this little secret of mine away.  Thus, it has been a lifelong battle to always try to arrive at the positive,) my instinct is to judge my current state as "bad," yet what two of my sisters reminded me of this just now past weekend is how our bodies need to expel what no longer serves them.  Common colds are one way for this to happen. 

At Dr. Ben Kim online, he wrote:
"...there never needs to be a cure for the common cold, since the common cold is nature's way of keeping you healthy over the long term.  And so long as you get plenty of rest and strive to stay hydrated and properly nourished during a cold or flu, there is no need to get vaccinated or to take medications that suppress congested sinuses, a fever, or coughing.  All of these uncomfortable symptoms are actually ways in which your body works to eliminate waste products.  It's fine to use over-the-counter pain medication like acetaminophen if your discomfort becomes intolerable or if such meds can help you get a good night's rest.  But it's best to avoid medications that aim to suppress helpful processes such as fever, coughing, and a runny nose."

Sure, there might be some psycho-somatic connections in here for me to look at, as well.  When the feeling of a sore throat and tingling in my ears began on Friday, I openly questioned myself: "What am I not listening to and/or hearing?  And, what am I not communicating?"  

Yesterday, I had been so excited and looking forward to Dance Church but my aching body just wasn't quite up for it.  I arrived into the studio where an upbeat tempo rocking hip-hop tunes kept our community on its feet.  Finding it difficult to give myself the gentle, loving warm-up that I really needed, you sidled up beehind me - offering me a place to surrender into your arms, as you just held and rocked me.  Your actions reminded me that - contrary to what I had been erroneously beelieving, which is that I AM POWERFUL because I can give as well as take so much - your gentle strength reminded me otherwise.  TRUE POWER IS SOFT SURRENDER & SWEET VULNERABILITY. 

So, today, when at work and my co-worker C. - the sharpest 22-year-old I know - spoke as to how men are "useless," I stuck up for you - all of you.  "They're not," I shared.  "They help me to remember..."  I told her about yesterday and how another 'you' climbed under my leg where we talked about your fear of a powerful, beautiful woman and how her passionate purpose makes you shudder with your feelings of inadequacy.  "I don't need you to match my fire," I said.  "I just need us to bee honest about where we each are.  I need to bee held, and I need to hold.  I need US to acknowledge the She is Creative Life Force Energy and that the story of He as beeing a singular God is no longer of service - to any one of U.S."

I can forgive my brothers for each of their beliefs that He is God - it's a story we've been raised on.   And, I forgive my sisters for their harshness and lack of compassion - for He found a way into their pants when they were just innocent babes.  NONE OF IT IS FAIR.  So, C. receives my word for the day and then sends me home early to rest, along with a bag of EmergenC, Chicken Broth Soup and Chamomile Tea, as I bask in receiving the sweet, gentle care that is all my heart ever asks for.
   

Sunday, June 9, 2013

New Moon: Keep Planting

New Moon in Gemini, June 8, 2013

from Llewellyn.com
"The New Moon in Gemini occurs Saturday, June 8, at 11:56 am EDT (3:56 pm GMT), at 19 degrees. New moons signify a new cycle, new beginnings, and rebirth.
This New Moon, along with the Sun (also in Gemini) will highlight the airy Gemini qualities of versatility, charm, and (possible) duplicity, as well as third house themes of communication, siblings, and your childhood environment. This New Moon period is the perfect time to examine how communicate with your family, most especially your siblings, cousins, and other members to whom you may have been close in childhood. Do you communicate with them on a regular basis? Are there past hurts that perhaps still need to be resolved, even after the passage of time? Perhaps you are not always forthcoming in your communications, to prevent future hurts. Now is the time to initiate changes."

I prepare for a day off spent con mi familia - my Soul family.  And, I have an arm full of books - dedicated and ready to bee given away - as well as a bag full of locally grown & organic strawberries.  Yes, I need to make amends for past hurts.  Yes, I want to give from my heart.  And, yes, I want to maintain and strengthen my bonds.  So, off I go to RELEASE any current holding-on's, to LET GO of my BodyMind SoulSpirit, to COMMUNE with my dancing and singing Self, and to CONNECT with others 

As I tap in here on this virtual superhighway, I notice that you are tapped in there -
in the UK and Russia,
in Indonesia and Turkey 
(in Canada, Japan, France, Germany and Bulgaria) -
and I FEEL YOUYou are with me on this great ride of being human (or, of being Spirit having a human experience), as I with you

My days spent amongst the wooden bookshelves at Lady of the Lake deepen my flow into this great river of time, expanding my sense of Self so that I embody it all.  My deep hunger finds satiation in books that tell of a period when Woman was revered as God, Creatrix of it All 
The Great Cosmic Mother.  I sink in - deeper.  And, there the snake lay - powerfully celebrated as an image of Her.  (Along with the Bees, the Winged Serpent and more.)  I read of Catal Huyuk, Anatolia and of Persian wisdom - my twirling Spirit longs for "hOMe."  My eyes feast in typed words about the BLACK MADONNA and the Dark FeminineYES!  I AM.

A Sufi and a Twirling Poet
Deeply Enamored with Her Beeloved
A Frida and a Wet Painting
Dripping with Tears over a Diego
Isadora sweeping across the stagein a teal-colored Greek tunic
Diaghilev directing Ballets Russes
with Picasso backdrops and Stravinsky in the pit 
All the while, my lover pirouettes
as my nemesis plots and steals
time dances on
Nefertiti calls for Akenaten
Horus sits upon his mother's lap 
Isis embraces it all
mythology brews
and the steam rises 
bubbling and gurgling,
transmuting and transforming
Mexican Revolutionaries
and European Migrants
give way to Egyptian Up-Risings
and Mexican immigrants
and Time Marches
On.


Saturday, June 8, 2013

New Moon Medicine: Plant Your Seeds

I took my Self out on a date tonight.
Strolling over to my favorite golden hill, I sat in Grandma* for a bit and then I
remembered that it was only a few weeks ago
when we were naked with that city skyline.
I walked back to where we recently laid
in that field of gold.
And, there is no nostalgia or desire for the past.  It's merely a celebration 
of what has been, as well as what is to come.

Enjoying my own company, I grabbed a beer and two slices of pizza
(because it is fun to bee human!) before I stopped in on the gourmet chocolate
shop that my mind has been scheming to visit.  I can bee with myself.  In fact, I enjoy my own
company.  Thus, it's a requirement that you seek me out as your Warrior Queen 
and not because of your codependent fears.

On my way back in to to a darkened Treehouse,
a small, baby Garden snake lay across my path.
I bent down to the ground to pet its slithering, S-shape.
Earlier, while walking through an ambling South Park,
my BodyMind SoulSpirit was filled with thoughts of serpents and snakes ~
how intriguing of a role they have played within my life
for over a year now!  And, there you are - in my memory.

This evening, as shadow falls across a Lunar face,
I root deeper into my internal knowing.
Then, another "you" texts me:
"Action," you typed.
"It's time to show up."
I receive your command.
I am ready and willing -
a divine instrument attuned.

The path is clear and the Universe is in charge -
these days, it lets me know when to speak and when to listen.
All I have to do now is bow down and serve.

(*Grandma is a ~150 year-old Tree that sits above downtown San Diego and is related to the Ficus family (I beelieve.))

Steps for Leading a Healthy, Vibrant Life

SIMPLIFY.

CONSUME LESS.
Period.
Especially BODY PRODUCTS.
It is these that, I beelieve, are truly making us sick (aka filled with cancers, tumors, etc).
Your skin is the most major organ of your body!
What are you putting on it, daily?
QUIT ALL DEODORANT.
I use a Crystal Stick for absorbing the bacteria that accumulates in this
wet, dark place.  (Go to a health food store for these or Google search them.  Any cost differences will balance out over the long term.)  I also notice that certain materials - i.e. like Cotton - simply absorb my natural scent and moisture.  Thus, I try to wear less of it.
STOP BUYING ALL OF THE LOTIONS - especially the fruity ones from places like Bath & Body Works, etc.  (They are making us sick.)  Yes, use natural oils & materials - Coconut, Apricot, Rose, Beeswax & the list goes on. (You can find these at health food stores or online.  Any cost differentials will balance out in the long run.)

(PLEASE NOTICE HOW REDUCING THE CONSUMPTION OF JUST THESE TWO, SPECIFIC PRODUCTS SERIOUSLY CUTS DOWN ON THE AMOUNT OF PLASTIC WE ARE PUTTING INTO OUR ENVIRONMENT.) 

GET RID OF MORE.
Only keep around you that which you really need and are using.
If you haven't used something in years, get rid of it.
Yes, you probably will want to use it again in the future - and, when that time comes,
trust that your needs will bee provided for.  If you invest in storage, empty it and get rid of everything.  All stuff does is simply tie you down and bind you.  For what purpose?  And, why?  Look at your things and materials as a responsibility - if you had to get up and go, quickly, what would you take and what would you leave behind?  If you lived in a nomadic society, how capably and efficiently could you move yourself to your new life and location? 
GIVE IT AWAY.
DO CLOTHES SWAPS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
Choose a 'less is best' mentality.  Wood floors with furniture pushed to the outer circumference of the room means it is easier to keep your intimate space clean - less dust = less "allergies."  Shed Skin.  Feel Lighter.  Bee HEALTHIER.



GIVE 
MORE 
AWAY 
AND BEE HAPPY.

Now, the biggest step of all is to think of your LOVE - as in that big, burning ball of energy you carry inside of you and that needs expression in this world - AS SOMETHING THAT MUST BE GIVEN AWAY, over and over again.



p.s. My Local SD peeps ~ YEAH!


Friday, June 7, 2013

The Wisdom of the Warrior: Will Power

from Hazrat Inayat Khan's The Art of Being & Becoming
chapter 9

"In this continual battle of life, the one who stands firm through it all comes out victorious in the end.  Even with all power and understanding, if one gives up through lack of hope and courage, one has failed.  What brings bad luck in this life, in this battle, is a pessimistic attitude and what helps man to conquer the battle of life, however difficult, is an optimistic attitude....

In this battle, drill is necessary.  And that drill is control over one's physical organs and over the faculties of the mind.  For if one is not prepared for this battle, however courageous and optimistic one may be, one cannot succeed.  Another thing is to know something about warfare: to know when to retreat and when to advance....

Life is such an intoxication that although everybody thinks that he is working in his own interest, hardly one among thousands is really doing so.  The reason is that people become so absorbed in what they are trying to get that they become intoxicated by it, and they lose the track that leads to real success...

The thing to do is to look all around, not only in one direction.  It is easy to be powerful, it is easy to be good, but it is difficult to be wise - and it is the wise who are truly victorious in this life...One would be surprised if one knew how many people bring about their failures themselves.  There is hardly one person in a hundred who really works for his true advantage, although everyone thinks that he does.

The nature of life is illusive.  Under a gain a loss is hidden; under a loss a gain is hidden.  Living in this life of illusion it is very difficult for man to realize what is really good for him...One cannot be gentle enough, one cannot be sufficiently kind; the more one gives to life, the more life asks of one.  There again is a battle.

No doubt the wise gain most in the end, although they have many apparent losses.  Where ordinary people will not give in, the wise will give in a hundred times.  This shows that their success is very often hidden in apparent failure.  But when one compares the success of the wise with that of ordinary people, the success of the wise is much greater. 

And there is another person who knows what human nature is, who knows that one has to meet with selfishness and inconsideration everywhere.  What does he think of all of it?  He thinks it a lot like a lot of drunken people, all falling upon each other, fighting each other, offending each other.  Naturally a sober person who is thoughtful will not trouble with those who are drunk...He will tolerate, he will give in, he will understand; for he knows that others are drunk, and he cannot expect better from them.

What is senstiveness?  Senstiveness is life itself; and as life has both its good and evil sides, so has sensitiveness.  If one expects to have all of life's experiences, these will have to come through sensitiveness...He must be wise as well as sensitive.  He must realize before being sensitive that in this world he is among children, among drunken men, and he should take everything, wherever it comes from, as he would take the actions of children and drunken people.  Then sensitiveness can be beneficial.

There must be a balance between sensitiveness and will power.  Will power should enable one to endure all influences, all conditions, all attacks that one meets from morning till night.  Sensitiveness should enable one to feel life, to appreciate it, and to live in the beauty of life...One must acquire a balance between power and wisdom.  If power is working without the light of wisdom behind it, it will always fail, because power will prove to be blind in the end.  Yet, what is the use of the wise person who has no power of action, no power of thought?  This shows that wisdom directs, but that one accomplishes power; that is why both are necessary for the battle of life.

What is most advisable in this life is to be sensitive enough to feel life and its beauty and to appreciate it, but at the same time to consider one's Soul Divine...By practicing this everyday, by forgetting all that is disagreeable, that is ugly, and remembering only what is beautiful and gives happiness, one will attract to oneself all the happiness that is in store."  




Warrior Training

Eight years ago, I opened up my heart - just a wee bit - to allow someone in.
He was a strange reflection - with a lilting tongue, thick accent and dark brown skin.  He came to America as an "undocumented" teenager, carving out a life and a lifestyle for himself with his own, two bare hands.  He was a hustler, a true entrepreneur, who had been told by his own father, at the age of eight years old, that school wasn't a priority - money was. 

Partnering with him meant that I was confronted with my own, ugly visage - at twenty-eight years of age, I was sorely lacking common sense.  Outside the box, solution oriented thinking had been bred out of me.  I was self-centered and sad.  I had few friends and very little intimacy in my life.  Although his tough exterior and even harder personality traits were painful blows to my already crumbling false sense of self, I attached myself to his person out of co-dependency and fear.  And, I didn't let go - no matter how hard the Universe tried to shake me off. 

This past weekend, however, I was filled with immense gratitude for my ex-boyfriend's role in my life.  For four years, I studied under him - absorbing his intense awareness, soaking in his critical thinking, and integrating it all for myself.  Today, I AM A WARRIOR QUEEN because of our Dance.  The thing is, now I am perpetually confronted with past reflections of that old me and I am not quite sure how to proceed forward.

I especially see it with our men.  Lacking presence and acute awareness as to what is happening in this moment now, they absent-mindedly pluck at the technology in their hands while making easy mistakes taking care of the small, must-do responsibilities of day-to-day life.  Eight years ago, my ex-boyfriend's harsh responses to my soft incapability only added salt to my already wounded sense of self.  I do not wish to perpetuate this pattern - as it was destructive and painful.  However, serious kicks in the ass are needed.

WAKE UP!!!!!!!  Damn it.  Pay attention.  Bee where you are.  "Consciousness" is not just something that is sold or preached about.  It is a way of beeing in the world and, unless you are embodying it, then you come across as a complete nincompoop!  Plus, WE NEED YOU - strong, capable, on fire, and senses all attuned. 
 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

preventative MEDICINE

If you know me, then you know that I harbor HUGE respect for Angeline Jolie.
Obviously, I don't know her personally, however I can still LOVE her - especially for how she shows up in this world.  One of my girlhood fantasies has always been that I would adopt children of many shades and hues while providing and giving comfort to as many people as I humanly can.  God bless her for doing what I dream of!  For "We Are the World" truly. 

Ms. Jolie recently made headlines with an OpEd piece in the NY Times about how she had recently opted for a double masectomy.  I applaud her courage and commitment to her family AND I want us to ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND that we can alter the course of our health and well-beeing right now.  IT'S SIMPLE.

LITERALLY.

HOW TO BEE HAPPY NOW?
SIMPLIFY.

HOW TO FLOURISH IN YOUR HUMAN BODY
WITHOUT PAIN OR SUFFERING?
BEE.

HAPPY.
LIVE.  SIMPLY.

HERE ARE A FEW SUGGESTIONS:

REDUCE YOUR DAILY INTAKE OF MEDIA -
Get off of Facebook.  Put your iPhone away.  Live without a television.  Choose not to buy into any popular story (i.e. "News") that perpetuates a violent, negative and scarce-worldview.  Only look to these sources and references when you can easily see it for what it is - a false reality.

DRIVE LESS - Carpool more, ride your bicycle & walk.  Especially to the store and corner markets.  The feeling of resourcefulness and true independence is MEDICINE.  Commuting as a lone driver diminishes your life force.  If you commute to work, ask to work less on site and more at home; ask for a transfer; or contemplate a new job altogether. 

EXPAND YOUR FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE - How many friends do you have?  I mean, really?  Count them - now.  By friends, I mean people with whom you can hold and bee held?  People who you can hug and kiss regularly?  If you only have a handful, then it is time to expand your Self.  Which is easy.......

DANCE.
Rub up against others.  Physically support someone.  Laugh.  Cry.  Let it out.  Bee non-rational and non-sensical.  Act like a total dork.  Give a care not for how you look.  LOOK AS WEIRD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.  Flow.  Release.  Connect.  Part.  Twirl.  Bee ether and allow the Universe to channel through you.  YESsssssss there are communities for you in your neck of the world.  Yes, there is a place where you can just bee.  google search your town, nearest big city, with words like "Ecstatic Dance," "Contact Dance," "Dance Jam," "Dance Church," "5Rhythms" and more.  Now, Go.  You will bee grateful you did.

DIE HAPPY.  
AND, DANCE RIGHT BACK INTO SOURCE.