Eleven months with Youuuuuuuuuuu

As the video below attests, at around 10 1/2 months you began standing up on your own and taking strides forward. You can be quite talkative and chatty at home, although you tend to be more reserved in public and when among people you don't know well. You're a happy, little guy. You are willing to take risks and be adventurous. While at the beach, you will animatedly crawl towards the waves and you'll even try to quickly walk forward when you pull yourself up to standing - but gravity and your inexperience brings you tumbling down onto the seashore. You know how to fall, however, so even when we are on harder surfaces I don't have to worry too much about your falling, for you are not reckless. I know that with time who you are will continue to transform and evolve and I am willing to grow with you, to let you be where you are in most moments. Unless I'm stressed out and lacking sleep - as happened today when you were screaming in the car, probably from your two lower teeth that have almost broken through. In which case, as you grow bigger and I grow a lot older, I hope you will be compassionate with me. Sometimes, during this now with you when I experience a love so profound that it is unlike anything else in my life, I will make mistakes - like demanding you be somewhere other than where you are. I am sorry, my sweet boy. Accepting my own humanity is still something that I am working on. So, if I were to want anything for you - aside from that which you wish for yourself - I hope that you will accept and love yourself totally and completely. As you are, human, imperfect, frail and flawed while also being so amazingly strong and perfect. Just you, how you are now, in this moment, no need to change, no need to feel shame or sorrow. Just the joy of being, alive, free and human - as you so beautifully demonstrate now.

Posted by Cara H. Cadwallader on Wednesday, August 19, 2015

9 Months Old!!!!

I ran out of coffee, but I don't think I need any now. This is what my morning is like.
Posted by Burt Lo on Tuesday, June 30, 2015

My dear sun, How much joy and light you bring into our lives, every single moment. When you wake from sleep, you sit up with a smile (unless you're still hungry, of course) and then you crawl your way either up your sleeping papa, who was napping beside you, or out to find me wherever I am. At just over eight months old, your crawl progressed into the full fledged cross crawl shortly after we moved into our new apartment. With brand new, clean carpets, we would demonstrate for you what to do as well as entice you with the jingling of keys as we patiently waited for you at the end of the hall, or in the bedroom. Your two, top teeth cut through your gums a little over two weeks ago. During the week before that, you were waking about every half hour through the night but aside from that, teething with you has been easy. Now, you've got the two teeth beside your top teeth making their way down. You are also pulling yourself up to standing and making a symphony of different sounds and noises. It appears that with your ability to exert more energy, you are sleeping longer blocks during the night. This, however, is still hit and miss and this has been the hardest part about raising you - there isn't a lot of sleep to go around! (Yet.) And, what you're teaching me is that sleep is over rated and that "I'll sleep when I'm dead." Ha! Your Papa and I are having so much fun witnessing your growth as well as being together as a family unit. Together, we are united in love, focused on our collective and individual intentions and just super content to be in these moments now. We are also excited to watch how all of this affects and effects you as a being. We adore you now and always. May you find the strength and wisdom to love yourself throughout your lifetime, your Mama & Papa

time flows by & you are 7+ months old

YES, we are!

Our son,

You've got the army crawl down pat. Scooting around on your elbows and toes, you can become frustrated at your inability to manifest your desire to move quickly. It's coming, all too soon if you ask me. In fact, just the other day, you pulled yourself up to standing at the foot of the bed while I was getting ready in the bathroom. Apparently, I skipped crawling altogether and got right to walking. Of course, your uncle, Dr. Paul, would prefer that you crawl first, walk later. We shall see what life brings.

With each new season, a layer of you unfolds. From the get go, you've been a happy, easy and sweet baby (except for when you had to uncomfortably deal with all of the gas, that I - your mother - more than likely passed on to you.) And, more recently, you've really come into sharing your smile, giggles and silliness with others outside of the safe bubble of your father and I. It's a delight to witness your unfolding, as well as a profound privilege.

You now have two bottom teeth that have broken through - even teething with you is relatively relaxed. Soon after your delivery, you had a very prominent birth mark announce itself. Now, it looks like you may have two more markings. I wonder what these mean - if anything at all - about your past lives or about your future self. I am so curious to know the man you will bee who may, one day, find these writings by his mother of old. I can not know now what the world will bee like then. I pray and intend for a specific ideal, even as I'm aware of the great tide that the current (catastrophic) vision has us swept up within. We shall see what life brings...

Regardless of what life brings however, what I know now is what will always be and that is how much I treasure gazing at your beautiful self as you suckle from my breast. You are, in all ways, perfect - you always will be, even as you bound and bounce through this life. Know this, my son. Trust yourself & your deep, inner knowing.

Find strength in your soul, peace in our shared humanity and wisdom in harmony.


Know that I, that we, Love You. Most importantly, however, know that you are LOVE itself.

Six Sweet Months Spent with You

Yellow has always been my favorite color

My Dearest Sun,

Today, we were laying on the bed together, trying to nap but really just joyfully being in each other's presence, when the thought occurred to me that, someday - when the time comes and I lay dying - I hope you will be there, at my side, and that we will joyfully revel in life and just being together once more. Right now, however, there is the task of these moments at hand: of watching you grow and expand, of witnessing your fists unfurl as you first began to pad at my breasts.

One of the first languages that your father and I taught you is that of drumming. So, at six months old, you are often tapping out a lone rhythm with the palm of your hand. Tap, tap. Pound, pound. For a while there, you were trying to spit out a word - "Blah,"Baaa," you kept trying to say. You love to smile, especially at your Papa, as you play silly and coy in some moments. In other moments, you are content to entertain yourself as you attempt to locomote across the bed or while under the mobile.

Me in 1977

What has surprised me the most about you is how you carry my maternal lineage. I am shocked by this. I wasn't expecting to look in your face and see my brother looking back at me. Or, to see your eyes in a baby photo of my mother. Sometimes, it's overwhelming knowing what has become of those most primal of relationships. Yet, here we are, gifted the opportunity of another go at it. As my midwife said to me today, "You are rewriting the story, Cara." Yes, we are. (Although many of our friends and community members see a mix of both me and your papa in you.)

Aside from the fact that I still haven't really slept yet - you don't sleep (or eat) enough - you are a sweet, easy baby. Being with you is such a joy - words can not express. Rather, what I most want for you to know is how deeply loved and cherished you are. And, really, what matters most to me is that you feel, deep down in your Soul, that you are not just Loved but that you are the embodiment of LOVE itself. There is nothing you need to do. There is no one you need to be. Love is not outside of you. You are the Source. You are LOVE. If ever you find yourself seeking it, may your journey lead you here, to these words.

My Love for You is Eternal,
Always Your Mama

That's Gripper - my favorite stuffed monkey from my childhood- at the front