Dear Friend,
Thank you again for our date last weekend. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself enjoying dinner as well as our conversation. Truth be told, I am a self-diagnosed "snob." I enjoy time spent with myself, filling my cup with ways of being that feed my spirit. Meanwhile, I have little patience for time spent in intimate company doing otherwise. As we were initially strolling through downtown, my bodymind became filled with dread that I had found myself in superficial company. So, thank you for doing your homework and bringing up topics over dinner that naturally spoke to me - this momentary Cara. However, I must share that if you are really looking to impress a lady then you should definitely not take her out to a steak joint when she mentions that she is trying not to eat meat. ; ) Fortunately, I am quite easy going and I didn't mind - esp. since I wasn't looking for you to impress me. And, please know that I type all of this not out of judgment but because I want you to be successful - in getting laid, in finding love, in your profession, etc.
So, I skimmed a bit of the article that you asked me to read and I really couldn't sink my teeth into it. Where's the vulnerable man who spoke of his psychotic-bitch mother? That's the writer who is going to capture his reader's hearts. I love your idea of wanting to prove the establishment's perspective of
"he just wants attention" wrong. However, I don't think you've quite peeled back all of the layers that shield your own weary heart yet. When you were a child, why did you behave the way you did? Yes, I get that you were a shy guy who didn't want attention, however there's much more to the story here - abuse, betrayal, loss, abandonment - then is currently meeting the eye. Dig deep. It's there. Stop talking so much and just listen. Just Be, my friend.
I also want to share with you that before I kiss a man I really need him to know how to hug. Hugging is about meeting someone. With someone shorter than yourself (like me), it is wise to open up your legs wider and bend at the knees a bit so that you can meet this person - chest to chest. In my case, when I am hugging someone who is taller than me, I rise up on my tiptoes in my attempts at meeting them. This is what a hug is - a meeting of the hearts. I, personally, will not kiss a man until he knows how to hug. Breathe deeply, into your belly, and feel it expand and contract along with this other person's. Rest your cheek on their shoulder and just sink into them. These small tools will add infinitely to your sex life - I promise!
Learning how to just Be takes active un-doing, yet I know you can do it.
In love
always,
--CC.
