For too long, I erroneously believed that offering my love meant something. Or, I mistakenly thought that my love had to look a certain way, be received only by certain others or be certainly near perfect. As a result, I withheld my love for years. I hid it within the safe confines of my house, within dysfunctional relationships that I tried to force my idea of love upon and, even, within the fortified castle of my own, weary heart. My, how I suffered!
A few years ago, I came to the awareness that there were two "Me's" in this world. There was the "me" on a dance floor who is fluid grace, who humbly connects with others and who isn't afraid to be rejected. Then, there was the "me" in the 'real world' - a person who continually walked around in fear that she was consistently being negatively judged. I recognized that I didn't like how I moved through the 'real world.' Thus, I began to apply the lessons that I had been cultivating on dance floors to the every moment of my day-to-day.
These days, I find myself buzzing through my everyday with the aura of a ten-year-old. I am quick to throw my head back in uproarious laughter. I fall down and get hurt, a lot. Then, I pick myself up and keep on moving. I believe I have lots of friends and that I can do everything and anything. I see others who catch my attention and I intend to make them my friends. So, I walk up to them, put my hand out in front of me and introduce myself. Over and over again, with a firm handshake and a look in the eyes, I offer - my Self, me, my love. Most of the times, the connections that follow are fruitful and lovely. Sometimes, however, my energy scares others and they respond with fearful slashes at my pure innocence. In other words, these days I find myself being "rejected" more often than I ever have been before. Yet, this no longer stops me from continuing to offer, offer, offer.
Somehow, I've been discovering that the more I offer my Self, me and my love, the more liberated I become. So, I've been depositing random acts of Love all over our great city. I've left collected flowers on the door of senior citizen friends. I've left "love" notes on a cute man's car telling him he's handsome and to drop on by and say "Hi." (I found him cute, by the way, not because of how he looks but because of how he moved through the world - with high energy and handing out high five's like they were promotional advertising fliers for a business.) And, I've written poetry for a friend - all just because I can. I even read it out loud to a group of others at a poetry reading that we both were in attendance of. I do so for no other reason but that it feels good.
So, here's my hope for you, for San Diego, for all of us. Let's take to these streets and to the everyday of our lives and leave random acts of LOVE everywhere we go. Let's write each other poetry and cut each other flowers. Let's walk up to a stranger and introduce ourselves for no other reason but because we wanted to. Let's take each other out on dates and marvel over the sun setting below a western horizon. Let's give each other trinkets and mementos - objects we've found at parks and the beach, little pieces of someone else's trash that have no meaning to anyone but us - that speak of these moments, now. Let's hold each others' hands as we walk down the street. Let's listen to the deepest of our heart's yearnings and let's share our pain. And, let's do it just because we can. This, my friends, is how we truly claim the renaissance we are now living in!
