"You're so independent," he says,
when I tell him that I've experienced new clarity
after sitting with a few images of my own unattractive reflection this weekend.
The thing about BEEAUTY is that it comes from within ~
how much authentic joy and innocent relating One is actively cultivating can bee measured, not just in how One looks but
in what One says and how One does.
I'll admit, when I am not physically dancing, it is hard for me to sow these imperative
life qualities. Yet, I trust it all - there is a reason why I have intentionally put myself here.
"My extreme independence has just been the opposite of co-dependence, though," I say to him in response. "I'm working on INTERDEPENDENCE these days."
So, I borrow a sistar's currently unused vehicle to drop another sistar off at the train station. In the act, she generously offers me the use of her furnished, beach-side apartment while she spends the next few months studying in northern California. And, after many month's reprieve, my online stalker is back with a vengeance. Hitting my email inbox up with a slew of hysterical rants, she tells me to "Eat your own shit, bitch!" - among other things - as a response, perhaps, to my last few blogposts.
While taking this all in at E Street, a local cutie I met here a few years back, eyes me from across the cafe and wanders up. "Hey, how ya doing?" he asks. And, this time, instead of my usual, cryptic "I AM" response, I quickly reflect on it all and say, "I'm great!" (Even in the midst of the loss of rhythm, the upheaval of transition, the gain of weight, the discomfort of change, and the acceptance of responsibility for the deep whole that I have put myself in and what I must do - "I am great!")
