WATERFALL

"When he found out who was going to bee watching him, he started dancing around singing, "Oh, happy day!"  He never dances and sings," she said.  "Well, I must bee doing something right in the world, then," I responded, as she continued to ready herself for her overnight trip.  In the end though, I let him down - I didn't live up to his expectations.  Instead of gently pushing for us to do something fun and out-of-doors, I allowed him and his brother to spend way too much time doing what they think makes them happy - tucking their eyes and noses down into the media of ipods and ipads.  He was sorely disappointed when I dropped him off at school today and all I could do was to feel it all.

The boys call me "Waterfall" because on the day I took them up to the mountains, we spent hours traversing upstream, bee-ing present to all that is and observing the abundance of life that surrounded us.  Here, in the city center, I feel preoccupied with the pursuit of money-making, I feel tense about how I am going to support myself and, as a result, I completely and totally lack both presence as well as vitality.  This was highly evident in how I chose to bee with them, even though my time spent with them is short.  And, unfortunately, this time can not bee reclaimed ~ for it's all we ever have.

I'm still exhausted from the complete disruption of my natural rhythm over the course of the past two months.  I am looking to reclaim this, as well.  I do my best to show up to your play - "100% San Diego at the La Jolla Playhouse - and then to Dance, where Steve-o and I drop into our sexy partner dancing which keeps me feeling bad a$$ and where I remember how to bee vital and alive, innocent and joyful.  Why can't we just make the world one huge dance floor? 

Along the way, my nose too is also tucked - this time into Phillip Shepherd's New World, New Self: Recovering Our Senses in the Twenty First Century.  There, once again, I find myself and the thoughts, feelings, ideas and intuitions that I have been sensing as well as writing about for years now.  So, then, I shall keep on keeping on, knowing that I am IT embodied.

"...so we are persuaded to separate from the body and live in the head, assured by a culture that passes off this pathological disassociation as completely normal, natural and unavoidable.  Once we are caught in the prison of our craniums, we are unable to join the world - though our hearts yearn to do so.  Instead of joining it, we think about it, and analyze it, and judge it.  That's just how we are, and it's what we imagine the normal human state to be.  By contrast, certain other cultures tell stories about humankind's partnership with the living world, and foster an embodied sensitivity to it."  
(pg. 3)

"WE ARE LITERALLY HYPNOTIZED FROM INFANCY BY THE CULTURAL MILIEU IN WHICH WE ARE IMMERSED; WE SEE THE WORLD THE WAY WE ARE ENCULTURATED TO SEE IT.  A PRIME TASK OF ADULT LIFE IS TO BEECOME DE-HYPNOTIZED, "ENLIGHTENED" - TO SEE REALITY AS IT IS."  

--Willis Harman, Global Mind Change