"Our theme for the evening is 'resetting,'" she said, and I knew then that she too has also come into alignment with Jose & Lena's monthly Power Path calendar. On Friday night, she led fifty of us into a powerful sound healing on these southern shores, alternately beating her large Mars gong with a mallet as a woman sat beeside her similarly playing her smaller, round Venus gong. All the while, the sun was setting, a waxing moon rising and we lay on our backs absorbing all of these soothing vibrations.
Her and I we had to move through a similar 'resetting' earlier in the week by delicately tending to unresolved feelings from a summer misunderstanding. "It's like a broom," she said after the hurt, anger and pain had been swept away. "You gotta tend to sweeping out what's under the carpet in order to keep the house clean." "Yeah," I responded, chuckling at the obvious witch reference, "and I am not interested in tending to all relating-ships this way." "Me either," she flatly stated, looking me square in the eye.
The thing about INTIMACY and LOVE is that, well, they are beeyond rational words. They are irrational. Meaning we cannot use terms, language or formulas to try and describe these must have life experiences. Rather, they are found in the gaze between two sets of eyes, in the
gleeful hop of an innocent dance through time and space, and in the riff
of one deftly played instrument off of another. There is no mind that can analyze the data and formulate an equation. There is only the heart - it's own divine tune a melody that can not bee often heard due to all of the "static" in the air: the iPods in the ears, the iPhones in the hands, a culture convincing us that 'normal' looks like actively disregarding our wild nature.
And, well, I guess I feel as though I've pushed that internal reset button myself because so much has melted away, so much skin has been shed. A clarity has taken hold as to what LOVE feels like and it certainly doesn't feel like judgment or someone not showing up for me unless it is for her or his own direct benefit. I've been shedding things, as well as relating-ships, that were simply gathering dust in this house that is my life while offering little to no regenerative feedback. It feels good. My house has grown smaller in one sense and expanded greatly in another.
I've shed the fear, as well as the scarcity mentality, that I "need" any one thing or person in my house/life. This world is chock-full of people, places and things that can meet my human needs - for love, attention, and affection. My job is simply to allow myself to bee open to trying on as many of them as possible while letting go of any need to hold on. The best fits stay of their own accord ~ because of a light, joyful and regenerative exchange. Then, the work of 'tending to' beegins: the regular dusting and vacuuming, sweeping and cleaning as well as the occasional carrying of the heavy rugs out to the porch, where they are beaten and allowed to gather sun as the just mopped tile floors lay drying.
I've also fully surrendered to just 'bee-ing.' Finally! A desire to prove my worth and to demonstrate how valuable I am has faded into the ether. I am just am. By simply beeing here on planet Earth now, I am deserving. I don't have to prove anything, to anyone. There is nothing to chase, no one and nothing to bee had. THIS IS IT!
And If I can do all this,
then so can you!
JUST BEE
it's the greatest gift you can give
to both this planet as well as your Self.
