YES, I am writing to YOU!
Who are you?
YOU ARE ME.
Is it really this simple?
(YES!)
So, then, how do I treat myself?
For years now, lost amidst the confusion of
primal upbringings and societal conditioning,
I wasn't so good to myself. I spent too much time
avoiding. Skipping short term pain beecause of fear
only to create long term suffering for myself. Ouch!
That hurts ~ badly. And, just beelow all of my own anger for my past choices and
decisions is a whole lot of sadness.
These days, though, I am sinking deeper into
allowing myself to just BEE ~
especially in and with discomfort.
In the process, I am also learning what LOVING my Self looks like.
Once upon a time, I ran haphazardly forward, grabbing anyone's hand,
shouting "YES!" to the Universe and flinging "I LOVE YOU's" at the wind.
It felt great and so contrary to all the years that came before, hoarding my love and
affection, deeply afraid of rejection and judgment, yet silently craving and begging for it only to then perpetuate that which I feared most - a self-fulfilling cycle that I was unconsciously addicted to.
"Just love me!" "Ouchhh. No, not like that."
"Like this."
If anyone asks you
how the perfect satisfaction
of all our sexual wanting
will look, lift your face
and say,
Like this.
When someone mentions the gracefulness
of the nightsky, climb up on the roof
and dance and say,
Like this.
If anyone wants to know what "spirit"
is,
or what "God’s fragrance" means,
lean your head toward him or her.
Keep your face there close.
Like this.
When someone quotes the old poetic image
about clouds gradually uncovering the moon,
slowly loosen knot by knot the strings
of your robe.
Like this.
If anyone wonders how Jesus raised the
dead,
don’t try to explain the miracle.
Kiss me on the lips.
Like this. Like this.
When someone asks what it means
to "die for love," point
here.
If someone asks how tall I am, frown
and measure with your fingers the space
between the creases on your forehead.
This tall.
The soul sometimes leaves the body, the
returns.
When someone doesn’t believe that,
walk back into my house.
Like this.
When lovers moan,
they’re telling our story.
Like this.
I am a sky where spirits live.
Stare into this deepening blue,
while the breeze says a secret.
Like this.
When someone asks what there is to do,
light the candle in his hand.
Like this.
How did Joseph’s scent come to Jacob?
Huuuuu.
How did Jacob’s sight return?
Huuuu.
A little wind cleans the eyes.
Like this.
When Shams comes back from Tabriz,
he’ll put just his head around the edge
of the door to surprise us
Like this." --Rumi
However, I had to learn
not to avoid the pain, nor to fear the discomfort
but how to just bee with all of it.
With each trembling footfall forward,
I strengthen my own sense of Self and inner clarity.
Today, I say "No" resolutely, so that my "YES!" may
resound through time and across space.
An eternal ripple ~
L~O~V~E.
