5 Instant Tips To Be Happier Now
Yes, I admit it. CNN is one of the news sources that I look to, for the latest, breaking news, online. Thus it is how I came across the fine establishment's posting, of almost the same name, yesterday. Yet, for some reason or other, I could not relate to the author's suggestions. Suffice it to type, I thought I would write 5 tips (instead of 10, because less is best), and then provide what CNN, & Gretchen Rubin, posted in their article [in brackets.]
As you may have noticed, I have not posted to this here blog in months. The short of it is that I have been living through a period of tumultuous transition, and this most recent phase was not initially comfortable. In fact, it was quite the opposite - uncomfortable and awkward. Thankfully, I have since broken on through to the other side. What's more is that this breaking through has been years in the coming.
My story comes complete with a full mental break down that included a large dose of anxiety followed by a hollow depression. It also includes moments in time when I was, literally, stalking the man I was dating. I'm not proud, I'm just telling it like it was. There is much more that I could tell but I will refrain from overloading your senses with my story. I simply mention these things to let you know that this new place in which I have now arrived feels so damn good. It is a site from where I now move through the world with a confidence that I had been sorely missing for most of my adult years. And, it is a location that I have actively sought to create by implementing the 5 tips that I will impart below into my daily life.
So, in other words, I am resolutely credentialed and professionally licensed to impart such advice as to "5 Instant Tips for You to Be Happier Now." Now, on to the list:
1.) Sit Down. Breathe. Actively Un-Do.
Relax Into the Quietude, and the Silence. Find Stillness.
I'm serious, people. We live in a technocratic society and an information culture that encourages passivity and distraction, overworking and over thinking. We are not encouraged or inspired to sit down, to actively breathe, relax, and take honest stock of where we are in space, and time.
"Where are you? How do you feel?"
Do it, now. As you sit here, reading the words on this screen. Breathe in, through your nose, a deep inhalation. In in in in in in in in in in. Now, breathe out. A deep exhalation, out through your nose. Out out out out out out out out out out.
Now, do it again. And, again. Keep doing it. C'mon, two more minutes.
See? You already feel better, lighter, & happier, now.
Do this again, tonight, before you go to sleep. Sure, you can do it in bed. Then, tomorrow, discipline yourself to get up 10, 15, 30 minutes early, before the spouse and the children come a calling and before the morning coffee needs to be brewed. Begin slow, and easy. Look at the clock, say "It is _am, and I am going to sit here, on this comfortable chair, with my spine erect and my feet in full contact with the floor below me, and I am going to breathe for the next 10 minutes." Listen to the sound of the molecules and gases as they accumulate and pass in through your nostrils, down the back of your throat, filling up and expanding your lungs, ribcage, and even your belly. With your breath, your goal is to aim for a longer and longer inhalation and exhalation. Just like your mission is to gradually extend the amount of time that you dedicate, daily, to this practice.
By honing and honoring this place of silence within you, which is the dark soil of nutrients from where everything in your life springs forth, you will become acutely attuned to what it is that feeds you, and you will be more readily able to move on to tip #2.
[Don't start with profundities.]
As you may have noticed, I have not posted to this here blog in months. The short of it is that I have been living through a period of tumultuous transition, and this most recent phase was not initially comfortable. In fact, it was quite the opposite - uncomfortable and awkward. Thankfully, I have since broken on through to the other side. What's more is that this breaking through has been years in the coming.
My story comes complete with a full mental break down that included a large dose of anxiety followed by a hollow depression. It also includes moments in time when I was, literally, stalking the man I was dating. I'm not proud, I'm just telling it like it was. There is much more that I could tell but I will refrain from overloading your senses with my story. I simply mention these things to let you know that this new place in which I have now arrived feels so damn good. It is a site from where I now move through the world with a confidence that I had been sorely missing for most of my adult years. And, it is a location that I have actively sought to create by implementing the 5 tips that I will impart below into my daily life.
So, in other words, I am resolutely credentialed and professionally licensed to impart such advice as to "5 Instant Tips for You to Be Happier Now." Now, on to the list:
1.) Sit Down. Breathe. Actively Un-Do.
Relax Into the Quietude, and the Silence. Find Stillness.
I'm serious, people. We live in a technocratic society and an information culture that encourages passivity and distraction, overworking and over thinking. We are not encouraged or inspired to sit down, to actively breathe, relax, and take honest stock of where we are in space, and time.
"Where are you? How do you feel?"
Do it, now. As you sit here, reading the words on this screen. Breathe in, through your nose, a deep inhalation. In in in in in in in in in in. Now, breathe out. A deep exhalation, out through your nose. Out out out out out out out out out out.
Now, do it again. And, again. Keep doing it. C'mon, two more minutes.
See? You already feel better, lighter, & happier, now.
Do this again, tonight, before you go to sleep. Sure, you can do it in bed. Then, tomorrow, discipline yourself to get up 10, 15, 30 minutes early, before the spouse and the children come a calling and before the morning coffee needs to be brewed. Begin slow, and easy. Look at the clock, say "It is _am, and I am going to sit here, on this comfortable chair, with my spine erect and my feet in full contact with the floor below me, and I am going to breathe for the next 10 minutes." Listen to the sound of the molecules and gases as they accumulate and pass in through your nostrils, down the back of your throat, filling up and expanding your lungs, ribcage, and even your belly. With your breath, your goal is to aim for a longer and longer inhalation and exhalation. Just like your mission is to gradually extend the amount of time that you dedicate, daily, to this practice.
By honing and honoring this place of silence within you, which is the dark soil of nutrients from where everything in your life springs forth, you will become acutely attuned to what it is that feeds you, and you will be more readily able to move on to tip #2.
[Don't start with profundities.]
(What are profundities, anyway? And, who begins a top 10 list about happiness with a "Don't?")
2.) Do What You Love!!!!!!!!!
Although this sounds simple, it is actually quite difficult. Finding out what it is you love to do - which, more than likely, isn't just one thing, it is a whole laundry list - requires time, space, and dedicated energy. For me, it meant that I had to duck out of the social scene altogether (which wasn't feeding me on a deeper level) and spend time alone - on Friday and Saturday nights, no less.
When I granted myself permission to do my own thing, I paid attention to how I filled this time up - long, moonlit walks; doodling, drawing, and making art; singing; star gazing; you get the picture. I would also actively write, think, and wonder about my feelings, actions, and choices, and then I would document my experiences (usually through writing, though photography, or painting, work too).
Discovering what it is that feeds your soul and refills your spirit is an investment. Think of it as investing in your education, or even your house. Yes, you are worth every penny. Ultimately, this is the best model that we can provide for our children and for the generations that are to follow in our footsteps. Sometimes, in order to find out what it is we love to do we need to do step #3.
[Do let the sun go down on anger.] (This is sage advice. I will come back to it in tip #5.)
3.) Turn off the television, the radio, and even the computer. Cover up the mirrors. And ignore the billboards, magazines, and newspapers.
When I recall the time in my life when I was most at home in my own body, I remember living in close relationship to the land, eating meals outside everyday, living simply and simply living, and not being assaulted by media or my own image, daily. The comparisons that can plague my life - of how I am somehow not attractive because I do not look like the images of femininity that western media sells, for example - seemed to fade, and shift. A reverential sense for my own beauty began to grow as I witnessed myself: overcoming adversity (of not being accepted by my peers, in example), and rising to a challenge (of learning a new skill, such as Canadian canoeing). What I physically looked like began to take a back seat to how I responded to and moved through the world.
[Fake it till you feel it.]
2.) Do What You Love!!!!!!!!!
Although this sounds simple, it is actually quite difficult. Finding out what it is you love to do - which, more than likely, isn't just one thing, it is a whole laundry list - requires time, space, and dedicated energy. For me, it meant that I had to duck out of the social scene altogether (which wasn't feeding me on a deeper level) and spend time alone - on Friday and Saturday nights, no less.
When I granted myself permission to do my own thing, I paid attention to how I filled this time up - long, moonlit walks; doodling, drawing, and making art; singing; star gazing; you get the picture. I would also actively write, think, and wonder about my feelings, actions, and choices, and then I would document my experiences (usually through writing, though photography, or painting, work too).
Discovering what it is that feeds your soul and refills your spirit is an investment. Think of it as investing in your education, or even your house. Yes, you are worth every penny. Ultimately, this is the best model that we can provide for our children and for the generations that are to follow in our footsteps. Sometimes, in order to find out what it is we love to do we need to do step #3.
[Do let the sun go down on anger.] (This is sage advice. I will come back to it in tip #5.)
3.) Turn off the television, the radio, and even the computer. Cover up the mirrors. And ignore the billboards, magazines, and newspapers.
When I recall the time in my life when I was most at home in my own body, I remember living in close relationship to the land, eating meals outside everyday, living simply and simply living, and not being assaulted by media or my own image, daily. The comparisons that can plague my life - of how I am somehow not attractive because I do not look like the images of femininity that western media sells, for example - seemed to fade, and shift. A reverential sense for my own beauty began to grow as I witnessed myself: overcoming adversity (of not being accepted by my peers, in example), and rising to a challenge (of learning a new skill, such as Canadian canoeing). What I physically looked like began to take a back seat to how I responded to and moved through the world.
[Fake it till you feel it.]
(???????!!!!! Feel it. Feel it. Feel it. Life sucks, sometimes. It can be hard and painful. Cry your eyes out, and laugh your heart out. It is all we can do to survive.)
4.) Get your hands dirty.
Metaphorically, get involved. It may be with a local non-profit that shares a love of meditation with school-aged children. Or, perhaps it is in calling the cops on the domestic violence situation that has been on-going, for months now, in the apartment above you. Whatever it is, push yourself through your fears (of feeling awkward, new, unknowing, and uncomfortable) and into the realm of the unknown - you never know what you will discover.
Literally, take ownership of the land that you live upon even if you do not "own" it. Rake leaves, churn soil, prune trees, pull weeds - dig down deep into the Earth's rich crust. Maybe, you will even be inspired to plant your own garden and grow your own vegetables, herbs, and other edibles that you can prepare in the comfort of your own kitchen.
[Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.]
4.) Get your hands dirty.
Metaphorically, get involved. It may be with a local non-profit that shares a love of meditation with school-aged children. Or, perhaps it is in calling the cops on the domestic violence situation that has been on-going, for months now, in the apartment above you. Whatever it is, push yourself through your fears (of feeling awkward, new, unknowing, and uncomfortable) and into the realm of the unknown - you never know what you will discover.
Literally, take ownership of the land that you live upon even if you do not "own" it. Rake leaves, churn soil, prune trees, pull weeds - dig down deep into the Earth's rich crust. Maybe, you will even be inspired to plant your own garden and grow your own vegetables, herbs, and other edibles that you can prepare in the comfort of your own kitchen.
[Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.]
(A garden is worth doing, even if your green thumb ends up being more brown and the best you can do is to produce a local weed in great abundance - as is usually my case.)
5.) Lastly, let go of "the story."
By this I mean, all of the "he said, she said," as well as all of the hurts and mistakes that can grow up around our long-term relationships. Let go of what happened yesteryear. Let go of the fact that you were an unloved, and rejected child, and that your parents didn't give you all that you deserved. Let go of the societal expectations and pressures. For me, I have been working on letting go of my story of being woman and being objectified. (Please note that I wrote "working on" because all we can do in this life is to keep trying!!!)
Let go of your desire to be "successful." Let go of the need to prove yourself.
Let go, and breathe.
Come back to tip #1.
This is all you need to hold onto - this breath, this moment,
this small, uninterrupted you.
[Don't treat the blues with a "treat."]
5.) Lastly, let go of "the story."
By this I mean, all of the "he said, she said," as well as all of the hurts and mistakes that can grow up around our long-term relationships. Let go of what happened yesteryear. Let go of the fact that you were an unloved, and rejected child, and that your parents didn't give you all that you deserved. Let go of the societal expectations and pressures. For me, I have been working on letting go of my story of being woman and being objectified. (Please note that I wrote "working on" because all we can do in this life is to keep trying!!!)
Let go of your desire to be "successful." Let go of the need to prove yourself.
Let go, and breathe.
Come back to tip #1.
This is all you need to hold onto - this breath, this moment,
this small, uninterrupted you.
[Don't treat the blues with a "treat."]
(Treat everything with a treat (like ice cream ~ yummmm) and make your treat your breath!)
Yes, it is this simple. Of course, you still need to work to pay the bills, and take care of the minute details that fulfill all of the responsibilities that you have created in your life. These 5 simple tips require little and can be done, incrementally, throughout your day to day. In the long run, however, these tips will greatly benefit your overall sense of well being and health wealth (the purest wealth there is). Your family and friends will begin to notice a shift. They will be so grateful that you finally invested in you. And, you will discover the abundance that only the unique you has to give...
Just Do It.
Now.
Yes, it is this simple. Of course, you still need to work to pay the bills, and take care of the minute details that fulfill all of the responsibilities that you have created in your life. These 5 simple tips require little and can be done, incrementally, throughout your day to day. In the long run, however, these tips will greatly benefit your overall sense of well being and health wealth (the purest wealth there is). Your family and friends will begin to notice a shift. They will be so grateful that you finally invested in you. And, you will discover the abundance that only the unique you has to give...
Just Do It.
Now.
(i love you.)
