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| "We Are Bound" |
When I first came into this world, I looked up at you and called you 'Father.' I hoped you'd protect me and I dreamed that you loved me, unconditionally. But you were so wounded all you could do was to drown your sorrows in the bottom of a beer bottle and disappear when I needed you most. Even still, I grew and I came to look out and up at you as my 'Big Brother.' However, even then, you perpetuated the rage and the violence that had also been bestowed upon your pure, sweet innocence. As my father and my brother, you struck me down. You beat me. You called me hurtful names. You refused me your love and denied me your protection. But, even in my hurting and my pain, I forgave you.
As a toddler, dear brother, you were my best friend. Together, we'd expend our vibrant energy on playgrounds and in imaginary realms where a separation between us did not exist - where there was no 'other,' no he or she. There was only 'We.' In grade school, you became my boyfriend who sought the pleasure of passing me short notes and who desired nothing more but to kiss me on the cheek while we ducked under the table during earthquake drills. Yet, as a teenager, when I finally offered you my virginity - that ripe cherry to be plucked straight from the vine - you took it with little regard for the depth of shared experience between us. As my lover, you take from me just as you take from all the other women who march in front of your eyes, like an endless parade. And, now, as my soul mate, I offer you my eternal affection but your distant gaze still wanders over the blossoming fields, searching - always searching - for that which is inside of you.
Dear brother, I ask you now because I have seen your videos and I hear your words and I know you recognize where we are today, in space and time, standing upon a great precipice of re-formation. You also intuit how all of our ways that have come before do not serve us and you, too, seek change. So, I ask you, dear brother, to go deeper. I ask you now, brother, to please stop looking at me - at us, your dear sisters, mothers and daughters - as objects. I ask you now to adjust your vision, for I address you now as an equal - as a partner in this shared mystery.
Dear brother, I ask you now to notice when your eyes want to follow the line behind a woman's body or down the nape of her neck and to, instead, shift this energy. I ask you now to be aware when divisive words like "pretty" or "unattractive" enter your BodyMind. I'm not asking you to be God, dear brother. I'm asking you to be HUMAN, to fully show up with your strength of spine, so that you may protect us - your women and children, your most vulnerable. And, I am asking you now to show up with your feeling heart because the violence must end. And true peace must begin with you. It begins with you not allowing for the objectification of your women. It begins with you saying "NO!" to the sale of women and girls worldwide. It begins now by your choosing to feel with your heart, and not to merely see with your eyes.
Dear brothers, I ask you now, in solidarity, to stand with us your dear sisters.
For the time is truly NOW.
Please join us here in San Diego for tomorrow's SLUTWALK, when we "proudly take a stand against sexual violence and the bully tactics of victim blaming." Click here for the Facebook invite.
Read more here about how "Slutwalks" have been sweeping the continent since April in response to a Toronto constable offering the following "advice" as rape prevention, "Avoid dressing like sluts."
Here in San Diego, there are other ways that you can help to support and heal the lives of women. If you're a golfer, you can register for the 11th annual "Birdies and Butterflies" Golf Tournament on the Oak Glen Course at Sycuan. Your tax deductible participation and sponsorship of the Birdies & Butterflies Annual Golf Tournament benefits Shakti Rising’s Education and Community Wellness Program. Every year, ShaktiRising's education program offers over 1,000 hours of classes to women, schools, youth agencies and professionals throughout San Diego. Their innovative classes and consulting services create profound transformation at an individual and community level.
You can also check out Jeans 4 Justice, a local non-profit organization dedicated to ending sexual violence through creative awareness campaigns and cutting-edge education programs.
And, know, WE LOVE YOU.
