Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What is Intimacy: A Survey

Is it a kiss on the lips?
Is it sex?
Is it my laying on top of Natalie - draped across her pelvis?

Is it a conversation?
Is it sharing tears?
Is it eye contact?

Is it a willingness to meet in the middle?
Is it an agreement?
Is intimacy what we do only with our lover?  Parents?  Family?  And close friends? 
Is intimacy possible in a larger community?

Is intimacy taking things personally? 
Is it what we do to each other - how we dive below one another’s surfaces?
Is intimacy discovered in both the exertion of our own personal boundaries as well as the pushing open wider of these same perceived limitations?
Is intimacy choosing to inquire, “What’s wrong, and how can I assist you?”

Is intimacy found in the sharing of the body/your body/my body?
Is intimacy a worthwhile pursuit when, sooner or later, someone always/usually gets hurt?
Is intimacy necessary?

Are you afraid of intimacy?  Am I?

Do you crave intimacy?  Do you need it in your life? 
If so, how much of it do you need?
Can you imagine being intimate with a perfect stranger?  If so, how?
Can you be intimate with someone that you are not sexually energized by?
Do you seek intimacy out?  How?

Is intimacy staying on topic?
Is intimacy discovered in only the day-today?  Can it be found in an improvised, fleeting moment?
Is intimacy touch?  Is it contact? 

Will it hurt me if I am intimate with lots of people?
Will it hurt me if I am not?

Is intimacy sharing what is on your mind, and in your heart?
Is intimacy standing up for what you believe in?

Is intimacy a location?  Is it a place that we can all somehow arrive to? 
If so, can we arrive there together or do we have to take our own paths and journeys along the way?

Is intimacy a smell?  Does it make me want to come, or does it repel me off and away to a further distance?

Is intimacy a visual aesthetic?  Do I subconsciously choose whom I can be intimate with based upon the age and pigment of another’s skin, a lilting tongue, the amount of flesh that hangs from the body, or this other’s physical abilities & makeup?
Can I be intimate with someone who does not believe what I do, who does not think as I do, and who does not want what I want? 

Can I afford not to be?

Is intimacy a currency?  Is it something that can be exchanged for power, resources, time, or energy?

Is intimacy a wink?  Is it a flash of a smile, or a wave to the hand?
Is intimacy real?  Or, can it be argued that we cannot know intimacy with anyone but ourselves?

Are you intimate with yourself?  Am I?  If so, how?

Is intimacy a feeling?  Is it sensed, intuited and embodied?
Can intimacy be sustained for a long period of time?  Does it wax and wane? 
Is it possible to experience intimacy in short bursts?

Is intimacy the breath?  Is it life?

Is intimacy being and feeling vulnerable?
If so, how and when do you experience vulnerability? 
And, when do you refuse to allow yourself to be vulnerable?

Are you vulnerable?  Am I?

Just what is intimacy?