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| My precocious nephew whom I love dearly |
Preface:
My last blog posting details how I was unplugging from Facebook. After an amazing evening of community connection and communication fostered around the topic of sustainability and cultural vibrance, I found myself triggered by the words of an Other. My reactive response was to withdraw from the virtual realm where I had been accused of trying to be "understood." At 3:30am, I attempted to cancel my profile, however deactivation is much harder than the social media platform presents it to be. Hence, I am still online and active, although I have now shifted my relationship with and to it.
Last week was brilliantly pockmarked with scores of people enlivening the Hive with their presence and healing. Beginning on 9/11, a robust group of us gathered together to drum back in the regular heartbeat of a healthy society. For hours, we sowed this honey-colored, wood floor with our footfalls and our rhythm, with our song and our laughter and with no rhyme or reason but to call in release and a letting go of past wounds. On Monday night, the merry voices of men singing floated into the rafters overhead as I began to come together - in cooperative comaderie - with a growing team that is committed to our collective, highest good.
On Tuesday evening, Amrita Joy Ananda Ma once again graced the Hive with her Extra-Terrestrial Shamanism. Thursday night brought a group of 30+ artists together to begin envisioning what a sustainable San Diego could look like. Ariana Saraha, the Gypsy Fusion Muse out of Colorado, was back underneath the Peace Stage on Friday night. After which, a lovely sleepover followed with two of my most cherished, new friends. Saturday, like the week that came before it, kept us moving and grooving from meetings to presentations regarding the future of America's Finest City. By the time I was finally to be left alone, with just myself to entertain here within the comforting yellow walls of the Hive, I had to honestly give voice to the fear that was arising in me.
Before he left, M and I spoke of LOVE and how we do, or don't, show up to love ourselves, first and foremost. I recognized that I had been rejecting myself, and my most basic of spiritual necessities - like singing and dancing - over the course of the past few weeks. It's so easy to take care of and see to others and their needs. It's so easy to sing and dance when I am sharing space with others who are doing the same. However, it is also easy for me to distract myself when I am alone - for me to negate my BodyMind's needs by crawling up and into a virtual reality and a more heady way of existence. It is so easy to not show up to ME when I am by myself. It is as though there are these little holes that give way, and just as soon as all is still and silent once again I can begin to hear their loud screams to be filled up - "Eat something!" they cry. "Go, buy some alcohol," they demand. "Call someone." "Do something!" "Go out." "Watch a movie." "Get on Facebook."
"Do anything but don't just BE."
