I gone and did it.
I deactivated my Facebook account.
Yes!
Freedom is here.
It's ironic. Considering the fact that I've spent the past few weeks
espousing the merits of social media. Obviously, I am still typing to this location.
However, who knows, perhaps my online blog writing will be next to follow.
I guess I am just wanting to push the reset button.
Kind of like what my Body recently did. (Which was absolutely in tune with Universal timing.)
A few weeks back, I was dancing my a$$ off on a Tuesday night in Encinitas, all the while thinking I was seventeen again. The tunes that were pouring out of the loudspeakers was sugary, southern California pop and it took me back a lifetime - to when I first flew the proverbial nest, headed away from the dysfunction of my parent's home and into the solace of undergraduate life. I was so energized by this embodied memory, as well as by where I find myself now, that I spent an hour jumping up and down, down and up. On one, final elevation, I felt my right ankle joint move down and away from my lower tibia and fibula bones.
Responding immediately, I landed on my left leg and then lowered myself to the floor. I spent some time caring for, caressing and loving my ankle. I also chuckled at the fact that I am no longer that lost and confused teenage girl. And then, I experienced a surge of deep gratitude for the lifetime of experience that has flowed in between. "I am no longer that little girl, thank God!" I exclaimed. Although my ankle didn't feel good, I intuited that what I was experiencing was the remnants of an old injury finally righting itself. So, I danced out the remainder of the evening by placing most of my weight on my left ankle.
As a junior in college, I had broken this ankle and I have struggled to move forward in my life ever since. Time and again, I lacked compassion for myself. I berated and beat myself up for the smallest of infractions. Or, I refused to accept others - thereby, rejecting myself. I disrespected ME by being out of integrity - in my word and deed as well as in how and with who I spent my time.
What's different about now is that I have 110% committed to my spiritual evolution. I am no longer choosing to suffer. For a little while there, I was confused about why I had re-hurt this ankle but I now know that I didn't re-hurt anything. The fact of the matter is that I have been hurting for too long now. The hurting is over and the ankle is re-set. It's time to move on.
As for Facebook, it sure was a good friend. It re-introduced me to my love for creating chronicles of my life now. I've been a scrapbooking, journal-writing, photo album maker and keeper since I was a little girl. Facebook reminded me of my role in this world as an active documentarian. It also taught me that a Revolution can be started with a singular woman posting a video to her profile. For these, I'll always be grateful. But I don't think I'll miss it.
