Yes, indeed.
For too long, I chased after some elusive perfection where I was always "better:"
more appealing to the eye;
nicer to those around me;
more successful at making money and having nice things;
etc.
For too long, I sought to "improve" others around me:
to have them be more compassionate to themselves;
to "teach them" how to give love (Ha!);
to "show them" the error of their ways (Double Ha!).
For a lifetime, I've thought that I wanted to "change" the world.
That this planet was somehow
bad,
lacking,
impure and in need of desperate improvement.
Yes, there is always room for growth
AND,
maybe,
everything is exactly as it should be.
Maybe,
perfection exists - now -
if I simply allow it to,
in ME
in YOU
in US
in this spinning kaleidoscope of light and form,
of shadow and motion,
even with all of our individual and collective frailty and weakness,
in our horror and cruelty,
in its darkness and death.
Because one fact is that I have been fortunate to travel the world and
in my experiences as a lone woman in her mid-20s, I tasted far more
generosity and love than popular myth would have you believe.
The propaganda of "the murder capital of the world" (Johannesburg, South Africa)
receded into the ether as I strolled its war-torn streets, alone at night.
("Alone, at night?" my mother cringes, as you, perhaps, question my risk taking.
"I'd rather die exploring the world than trapped in a car (as too many Americans do indeed perish) while making a distracted commute to a job that does not feed my Soul, any day," is always my response.)
Yes, bad things happen.
However, what if "bad luck" was simply a lens through which we viewed life?
What if this now were perfect: this now of not knowing what is to come next?
This now of anxiousness, of lack of awareness, of doped up on caffeine and maxed out on pop culture? This now of over inundated and underwhelmed; of stressed out and confused; of lost and lonely? What if?
