The fires of transformation are burning.I spent this past weekend looking into them, feeling the sadness that remains and then releasing this past while intending for a bright future.
A Tribal Convergence gathered hundreds of evolutionaries from across North America
together here in San Diego County. It began with Gender Alchemy where I stood in a circle with other women, during which we were encouraged to let go of all that no longer serves ourselves, one another and our planet. During the week prior to this, I had witnessed myself passionately proclaiming to an other - who brought up how women can be catty and competitive with each other - that this is not how I move through the world.
I love my sisters, all of them. You are all gorgeous, talented and brilliant. It is an honor to stand beside you and claim you as my own, "My women!" My friends. My confidantes. When I do experience fleeting moments of envy (which, for me, always boils down to my own insecurities re. work and business) then I immediately recognize that I am feeling inept with how I am showing up in the world.
When I was in my early 20s, I moved through a very painful process in which I realized that I had sacrificed my affable, easy-going way of bee-ing in the world for how I physically appeared. The gaze of the male became a commerce - a sexual economy - and the more attention I received, the more "power" I thought I also wielded. I was quite angry to recognize how wrong I had been. So, I let it go and I haven't looked back since. Who I am is not measured by how I physically appear in the world. Rather who I am is measured by the amount of love that I continually offer and receive.
So, last week, after expressing my convictions to this other, I found myself desiring to convey it to all of my sisters. Then, the opportunity presented itself. Into the imaginary fire burning at the center of our circle, my powerful voice bellowed: "I release the gaze of the male as the lens through which I value my self worth." As we collectively purged lifetimes and centuries of trauma and abuse, I held ground while a number of my sisters dropped to the Earth in fantastic convulsions of release. Their tears breaking open the dams to their hearts. When they came to, they looked into my eyes and, together, we tapped back in to our purity - to innocence and joy and to the place that is untouched by all of the true his-teria that ensues when we allow our natural-born worth to be diminished by a gaze.
