I'm not a spiritual person.
I don't consider myself in the camp of the shit that New Age girls say.
I'm just kinda me - always have been.
Until I hear myself speak about karma and energy and then I laugh,
"Ha! Right. There's the spiritual in me."
And I'll see myself in-joying my brother-in-law poking fun with his
off-the-cuff comments. "Go align your Chakras or something," he teases.
Most of the time, I'll wiggle my head, and I'll giggle.
It's Just FUN.
All of it.
This now.
Once upon a time, I thought I was caged.
I felt like Spirit confined within skin and bone.
Chicava Honeychild challenged me though.
"You're not trapped," she chided.
"This IS the party, Cara!"
Then, I couldn't feel it.
Weight pressed upon my then narrower chest as so much
suffering ensued. I spent too long not listening.
To what my heart had to sing, first and foremost.
Once upon a time, I sought
a renewed, better me. A deeper, more fulfilled,
more disciplined Self. I traveled the world. Read all the books.
I spent too many years in contemplation and reflection.
Dozens of books scrawled with my chicken scratch bear testament.
I felt empty and lacking. I looked all over
for what has always been here
in my backyard
and within
my home, my bodymind,
this SoulSpirit.
Searching for an out - for a way outside of myself to connect back in to myself.
And, over the past nine years, the answers that keep coming back are
"Dig Deeper.
ROOT Deeper.
Here. Now.
This Is It.
Nothing more. Nothing Less.
Can you live with this?"
YES!
