Greetings, take I
As an undergraduate student, I witnessed the way a sweet friend moved through the world. Overflowing with warm, positive energy, she would toss her arms out wide & squeal with delight when she came upon the faces of her many friends, men and women both. And I'd sit there, in my morbid apathy, wishing that I could do the same instead of remaining inert & held captive by my fear as I had done for too long. Then, I wished for a time to come when I too could throw my hands up to the sky, beam at you full in the face and exclaim, "Thank God, you're here! I love you."
Greetings, take II
And then came a time when my Mexican boyfriend and I would arrive into a party. He would make the customary round of greeting every single person who was present at the event. Acknowledging her or him with a peck on the cheek or a bump of the fist, he announced his arrival as I surreptitiously walked in behind him only to duck out of the welcoming line and quickly find a seat. My refusal to follow suit was a simple by-product of my insecurities. Rather than move through my discomfort of allowing for a new way of bee-ing in this world, I took the easy way out. And, in the end, I always hurt myself more by doing so.
