A full day spent expending my reserve of
yang energy - now emanating from me full force.
I am so exhausted I could cry...
like a baby, hungering for sleep yet too keyed up
so, instead, it whimpers and screams.
Perhaps, I will scream myself to sleep tonight.
It's been a week of allowing ~
allowing myself to feel my triggers.
I finally realized that, rather than immediately
judging my own judgments as "bad" or "wrong"
and immediately transmuting them into 'light' or 'love,'
perhaps allowing myself to fully take in the information
that is being conveyed will offer me more opportunity to grow.
Mainly, though, it's got me feeling hard.
Like a stale bread
that isn't very palatable.
I prefer soft.
Yet, that imbalance didn't seem to work, either.
There must be a middle ground in here,
somewhere.
While at OB's great chili cook-off, M. and I played catchup.
"I can feel your sadness," she said.
"I just want peace," I cried. "Yet, it seems that I am at war
with the aspects of myself that I judge as being violent and destructive."
Meow.
And, it all just is.
Perhaps, this is the space of true equanimity.
S. said that allowing others to bee exactly as they are is liberation.
Meanwhile, tonight, D. continued to proclaim that, "If the entire planet focused on
raising its vibration, we will experience Heaven on Earth."
I've been living in paradise for decades now.
Nonetheless, forests are still being cut down at an alarming rate.
Indigenous peoples lands continue to be taken by force by some corporate conglomerate
claiming 'evolution' and 'progress.' Me? I am just willing to call
bullshit for what it is. Imperialism, colonialism and entitlement makes for a very dull boy.
I have danced and I have sang for thousands of hours.
My vibration is raised.
What's needed is a collective call for tears.
One Earth Cry to shed this wound, to purge this deep sorrow and grief,
to honestly and authentically address that this shit ain't working and it's all fucked up.
The beauty in vulnerability of this magnitude is that there is only one way to go from here ~
UP.
