He's dead.
Taken his own life.
If anyone represented local San Diego -
"Oceanside in da' house!" - this man personified it.
And, I'm going to speak to what no one else is saying right now.
I'm going to share what I was just feeling, even as
San Diego news stations bombard my being with their over-the-top
fanfare and litany of too-late affections.
Before Carol Ann flipped on the television, I was just writing about
the masculine predicament and how, as Barry Logan told me,
"It's only acceptable for American men to show 2 feelings: fear and anger."
I recall my only two encounters with Junior, both taking place in the
very recent past. Just last December, while dancing and enjoying a night of bar
revelry at a joint on the 101 in Leucadia, Junior was also present at the small establishment.
We were there, close to 20 of us, to celebrate a sweet sister who was headed off to India. He was there, with a few others, to celebrate his Induction into the Hall of Fame and the retirement of his number. And, I recall thinking, "Where are his friends?" I remember how he felt entitled to place his hand on the side of one of my sister's bodies one-too-many times. She removed his big, wide palm and glared at him with an inquisitive look. He gave her his personal phone number in response.
Now, he's dead.
Four grown children left behind.
And, the news camera perched from a hovering helicopter along the Strand near the Oceanside pier,
shows people with their palms raised to the sky. "Dear God," they cry. "Why?"
And, I hear the news reporters talking about Spirituality and what it means to be committed to a higher purpose and how we can't take each other for granted or think that we know someone and that we should tell those we love that we love them now and I feel "Why wait?" "Why wait 'till we're dead? Why can't we honor each other now?" What's more, "why can't we honor ourselves?" AND ACCEPT THAT WHAT WE NEED, along with the warrior postures and the animal territoriality, is SWEET SURRENDER, AUTHENTIC HONESTY, AND HONEST VULNERABILITY. WHAT WE ALL NEED TO REMEMBER IS HOW VITAL OUR SOFTNESS IS. Without it, there is no life.
God bless Junior.
I just wish he didn't have to embody this lesson for all of us to learn it.
(Now, off to an appointment at a Community Health Clinic in Oceanside.)
