"How old is he?" my friends ask, after I share with them his absolute refusal to even acknowledge my existence. I just shrug my shoulders in response. This situation is entirely too comedic an experience for me to allow the actions of another to weigh me down. Besides, what I've recently come to realize is that the only thing I have any affect over in my life is the way I choose to respond in any given moment. I simply prefer to release positive charges into this world because I believe in the law of attraction - the Prosperity Hive taught me this much. And, why bother judging him when he's so good at judging his self? All of this judgment has to end somewhere, so let it be me.
It wasn't all that long ago when I myself was a monster. I thought and acted as though the world revolved around me. I lacked presence and I couldn't hold space for another. I thought little to nothing of the needs of others around me. I spoke mainly of myself and my on-goings. I was tunnel visioned and self-absorbed. I felt entitled and special. I had very few friends and little to no intimacy in my life. I knew I wasn't happy but I didn't know how to change. Worst of all, my mind would convince me that this was all "normal" behavior. Ha!
Thank God for my sister. She was the only person in my life who was willing to hold an honest mirror up to my face. Yes, the reflection hurt for I didn't realize that I was so damn ugly! Truth be told, I actually thought I was "pretty." Ha! And, although I internalized this message for far too long, I am so grateful, today, for the lesson. "Thank you, Teacher," I say, as I bow deeply before her.
You see, I like who I am, now. I like my culture - my leaver way of not asking for anything, not expecting anything and being prepared for everything. I like the way I hold deep space for others - allowing them to be exactly where they are without my forcing a way. I like the way I am present to and for my soul sisters and brothers. I like that I can be talking about me and my experiences and then allow the moments to be broken by children, animals and others. I like that I trust that we'll come back to it, if we're meant to. I like that we don't have to come back to me, and that's fine, too. I like that I am humble and walk a path of humility. In fact, I chuckle at the article I just had published in Radiance Magazine in which I use the metaphor of a turkey dinner to describe my family. "As for me," I wrote, "I am like the round potato - a dab of bland warmth that mixes well with others." HA! It's more like, "a splash of fiery zest that wrinkles your nose, makes you sneeze and puts a pep in your step!" Though, in reality, it all simply depends on the day. ; )
May your days, and reality, be filled with less monsters
(including yourself) and more LOVE!
