Day #1 of 365 days embodying LOVE:
So, I overheard myself speaking to a beeloved sister, "I want to be honored. I just don't know how to ask for it." "I'll help you," she responded, willingly jumping into the fray of my life here in San Diego even though she resides in Oakland. Sometimes, though, simply really listening to and hearing our own selves is all that needs to be "done."
My response was to ask C. for his help in making the initial invite. Per my usual, I worked towards my 36th birthday as though it were a marker; a threshold through which I could enter one way and leave in a whole other direction. Plans were intended, while allowing for the breathy expansion of organic life to naturally unfold. The wet weather that this now past weekend brought with it certainly changed the trajectory of an outdoor garden party, and c'est la vie.
What did happen was a diverse gathering of brilliant community ~ children chased one another around the sprawling property on 22nd Street; little girls harvested fresh veggies from the garden; the boys fed the chickens; the kids & the adults danced with hula hoops, bounced on balls and spun fire poi; music was made; laughter had; and then we gathered. In the living room, I asked each person to speak their name into our vibrant circle and then share a little bit about how they know me. The LOVE, words and honoring that overflowed was a mirror - a crystalline lake that we each, sitting in that room then, could dip our proverbial soul cups into and drink from. It didn't matter in whose direction the words were spoken, the positive vibrations of a timeless ancestry rose and pulsed throughout our bodies and hearts, dancing in the space between all that either goes unspoken or is simply beyond words.
For the past few weeks, I haven't been able to drop into REM sleep as I recently used to be able to do so successfully. That, coupled with a weekend of only a few hours of rest, all adds up to an exhausted me. After sleeping deep on my new California King, Beauty Rest mattress (Pa-dow! The Universe has decreed that I now sleep like a Queen! As it was a sweet gift that landed in my lap this weekend), I arose to once again rejoice in community with shared breakfast, stretching, conversing, reminiscing about all that came the night before & more. As the exhaustion began to seep deeper into my bones and joints, I excused myself to bathe in an Epsom & mineral salt bath and to tend to my self care. This is just one small way that I demonstrate my commitment to learning how to receive ~ by showing up and loving me.
