"You're life is almost half over and you have nothing to show for it!"
A familiar refrain, it was leveled at me this past spring as I sat vulnerable and recuperating at my parent's home. "You have all this," I responded, motioning around myself to the two-story home filled with the American regularities of domesticated life - two cars in the garage; stainless steel appliances in the kitchen; large screen HD-TV blaring in front of the Ottoman I was then occupying - "and, are you happy?" Smart enough to know not to respond with this question to my mother's affront - as her denial is as long as the Nile - I instead honestly directed it at my father. Caught red-handed, all he could do to respond was to walk away in defeat.
Tomorrow, I turn 36.
Last year's #35 had a picture of me on this here blogpost, alone and smiling. It's how I began the morning - I concluded that day facilitating a leadership training for a team of 3 others that I had brought together. 'Twas the gift I wanted then.
By night's end on October 21st, 2012, I hope to have an image of me enveloped within tribe. On this day, I will celebrate that, finally, after all these years, I am living in LOVE. Sure, we don't own our home and we have very little by way of material resources but what we do have far outweighs all else.
We have each other.
We have hugs, kisses, conversation & communication, touch and intimacy. It's all in varying shades of gray, of course, and there is certainly lots of room for growth & expansion.
Nonetheless, it's the dream I've always dreamed.
I am already successful beyond my wildest hopes. All else, from here on out, is simply icing on the cake.
The rebirth that last spring's snakebite spoke of has arrived. The story of the victim, abused & martyred, old me has died - taking with it it's "not good enough," scarcity mentality. What's to come, only time will tell. I have no expectations or ideas for something bigger, grander or better.
THIS IS IT.
Who's to come?
Well, that skin is being shed and
I'll see you
on the other side.
