"I wanna free fall, out into nothing,
gonna leave this, world for awhile
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin"
--Tom Petty & the Hearbreakers
Yet again, I've done it.
It was a little harder this time around.
I figure that letting go will continue to become more and more
difficult the older I get, and with the more responsibility I take on.
Nonetheless, I've let go of the cell phone and the car.
I don't REALLY need them.
In fact, I honestly believe that it is NOT sustainable for most Americans to have
one of each. (As I've previously written, I'm holding myself up as a model.)
I have spent most of my adult life without either of these pesky traps of "modern
convenience," anyway. In college, I walked and rode my bike because my parents, unlike a lot of my
peers', refused to buy me a car. They were right - a car isn't neccessary when one lives and works
within a five mile radius. During the process, I discovered how my lifestyle lent itself to a vibrancy and an overwhelming sense of FREEDOM. Plus, my bodymind has always been invigorated by the physical act of motion. Hence, my best creative flow happens during a walk or a bike ride. It wasn't always ideal - especially in the rain. But the experience taught me a lot about what true independence looks like.
Even when I first moved down to the city of San Diego, back in '03, I utilized public transportation as well as my own two feet to get around these undulating hills of America's Finest City. It has simply always been both a preference and a dogma. But, then, I fell in love and my desire to be able to connect instantaneously became an addiction. I "needed" back then, or so I thought. Now, however, I know that this isn't love - love is spacious and open, love is letting go, letting go, letting go, let go....
So, I've let go, again.
And I'm free falling, out into this world,
out into nothing.
I don't know what's to come.
Lately, I have been feeling foolish for even holding onto this virtual reality.
Last night, I contemplated letting go of this, too - of the Facebook and the blogging. Of the striving, or so it seems. And my mistakes have been plentiful. They keep happening, one after the other.
I guess, I'm learning...
I think I'm free fallin.'
