(excerpt taken from a small, handheld journal called "Women's Notes," upon the top of which is scrawled, in block, green print, "Cara's Bible")
"2/11/97
My true flaw lay in the fact that although I seek individuality, I am a conformer.
Although I seek to be different, it is my sameness that keeps me from attaining such ideals.
The only and true way to be different is to realize and live in the realization that we are all the same,
WE ARE ALL ONE. My attempts at declaring myself special, unique, different, this one or that one, are futile and self-defeating."
I was only nineteen and, yet, fourteen years later, my sentiments remain the same. I share this n-o-w because I want you to know my intentions for continuing to throw these thoughts, my ideas, a contemplation of RUMInations upon life, out here into virtual Lalaland. Yes, I am human. And, yes, as an artist my ego is HUGE - my need to express is great and my belief in what I have to share is admirable. Sometimes, I taste grandeur within myself because I see it in the world around me. Is the swirling Milky Way galaxy not magnificent? When I point out Orion's Nebula, found within the sheath of Orion's sword in his mighty constellation of a North American night sky, is it not grand? When you taste the sweet fruit of a ripe avocado prior to its falling from a blooming tree, is it not a miracle? "YES, yes, yes," comes the words we build a foundation upon.
Simultaneously, I also recognize a singular grain of sand as it sits upon a washed up shore on a forgotten about stretch of island beach. It is no more and no less than the billions of other grains that lay all around it. In fact, it appears almost indistinguishable. Together, these parts of one puzzle are pulled away from and back towards the source. They are merely playing out their role in the unfolding of time, in the ebbing and flowing of the Earth's natural forces. Small and minute, they flow - in and out, out and in. Like our breath, our lungs and our hearts beating within our warm chests.
Like the heavens above and the Earth below, I too am big and small. I too, simply, am. And, I am also simply not. Thus, when I share, n-o-w, I do it because my story IS our story. Human story is universal - it is the fabric of our existence. Our collective consciousness is awake, it craves our shared reciprocity and has a deep hunger for a healing that has been millennia in the coming.
N-o-w is the time.
Let's release
our fear.
