On "ME"ism & Our Collective "I"LLNESS, part III

MONSTER, 2009

Like all self-absorbed individuals, I internalized by ex's words to mean that it was only I who was uniquely "wrong."  My small circle of friends, at the time, grew quickly impatient and bored by my inability to discuss nothing more than me, my relationship and my pain.  I was miserably stuck in an eddy of self-pity and self-indulgence.  "ME ME ME," was how the refrain went and it did little to foster new connections.  It was also eating me alive from the inside out.  I withered away, losing twenty pounds, due to depression and anxiety.  I was involved in my first car accident and I'll refrain from sharing all of the other dysfunctional behavior that I allowed for at the time - at least, for now.

So, it took all of this for me to find myself here, and now.  It took my backing myself into a really unhealthy corner in order for me to, once and for all, finally commit to my highest good.  Which is what I did two years ago, just as Paolo Coelho writes of in his book, The Alchemist - I committed 110% to my Personal Legend, to my Hero's Journey.  And I will not settle for anything less.  Certainly, we could debate whether or not this action is simply another manifestation of an ego running amok, of my selfish desires to be seen, heard, recognized and acknowledged.  However, my highest good is deeply rooted within the highest good of all - including this miraculous planet and all of its magnificent creations.  The connection between the two is inextricably linked - there is no separation between.  When I show up fully to live my destiny without fear, guilt or shame - while taking just enough so that others may do the same - I am the Change.

Gratefully, my path has lead me to the Prosperity Hive, a metaphorical baby that I have had the sincere pleasure to learn how to be a mother with.  At the Prosperity Hive, I am the unconditional force that takes care, feeds and nurtures countless human beings, from all walks of life, who gather together in the name of celebration and community.  The Hive has helped to propel me past my spoiled, little girl ways and into the realm of womanhood.  The Hive has been a rite of passage.  

When Shakti and I first moved in, Shakti kept telling me, "You have to teach us, Cara.  You have to teach."  Seven months ago, I couldn't quite understand what she meant.  Instead, I grew exasperated at the mirror image of me, circa 2005, that I kept bumping into.  Unfortunately, I made the mistake of behaving with Shakti as my ex did with me.  "I don't like you," I hissed one day when my patience had worn thin.  Today, I now understand why a deep well of maternal compassion has been recently unlocked within me - because I keep experiencing first-hand just how not special or unique I am; I keep rubbing up against the self-centered, Me-ism of others, and I now know that this is a cultural phenomenon.  

Reality television, celebrity culture, the cult of technology and, even, Facebook all foster a fantastical nightmare in which our self-indulgent whims are the crux upon which the world turns.  But this is not how we are going to endure, friends.  Take it from me, someone who has been there and done that.  Our health wealth resides in each other.  Offering LOVE is the only way to thrive.  And, how do we do this?  We show up fully in the brightness of our light.  Yes, we can and do take center stage so that we can teach others how to do the same and then, once they do, we step to the side so that - TOGETHER - we can all share the burning, nuclear fusion of US.  
WE is the ONLY WAY FORWARD.