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| This story is about healing the Inner, Divine Masculine Wound |
"Inner, Divine Masculine Wounding," she repeated, breathing out. "Okay, I'm here with you."
I'm not a man, so I won't pretend to know what it's like to be born and raised in a culture that denies full Self-Expression by negating natural, human feelings - other than fear and anger - as though they are evil, disgusting, "feminine" (our dear Governator himself popularized the perjorative term "girly-men." Thus, misogyny remains an accepted norm) or "emotional." I do, however, know what it's like to live in a world where the mind is worshiped and where a complete disconnect from our bodies is encouraged. And, I have experienced how profoundly this has affected the men in my life: the alcoholism and substance-abuse; the confusion and inability to own their power; the bending of their strong spine bones to a system that does not feed their beings; the closing of their heart centers to the women who grew angry and impatient as a result and, then, came to only perpetuate the pattern of either brute force or childish dis-empowerment.
Our men, by and large (there is always an exception, of course), have forgotten how to embody their warrior ways. Disconnected from the land under their feet and from the other planetary life that had them flinging their bodies through time and space in order to provide food, comfort and shelter for their families and tribes, they are lost and sad. They reject the deep call of their divine masculine - a timeless ancestry that pumps in their blood and that beats in their hearts. And, they submit, daily, to the subliminal code of a dominant paradigm that disrespects life as we know it.
I have tasted, first-hand, the rejection of these men - beginning with my father, of course. And, it's become such a pattern that I unconsciously and, yet, actively seek it out. I also do so because, although I may be of the female gender, I am also divinely masculine. We all are comprised of both the masculine and feminine - even if our sexual organs lead us to believe otherwise. So, over the course of the past thirty-four years I have taken on this rejection - I have come to reject myself. I haven't shown up to me - to owning my power, staking my claim in this world, living my passion, thriving on what really feeds me while embodying that just reward for the service I provide is what I deserve.
Last year, I found myself hurt and I cried, "I've been rejected." Now, I find myself hurt and I celebrate, "Only I can reject myself!" It's par for course that I attract others into my life who can not accept themselves when I have not been lovingly compassionate and deeply accepting of me - as I am now. Perfectly flawed. Imperfectly flawless.
I breathe in. I notice the sensations in my body. I feel what I feel. Then, I breathe out, releasing and letting go. This life is what we make it, indeed. What do you choose? Who is the fully integrated person you are becoming?
I receive.
We surrender.
Together.
This is how we move, forward.
