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| Souls Flaring on 11:11:11 |
The choice we do have, however, is how we choose to perceive this moment, now. For years, I, personally, walked through the world with a metaphorical gray cloud cover over my head. Everywhere I glanced, I saw blatant injustice - from the towering billboards promoting a white world of mindless consumption to the ramshackle shantytowns of vulnerable and destitute people of age, color, war, sex and youth, living on the streets. The disharmony was like a repetitive jingle playing out over and over again in my BodyMind. It made me angry. Unfortunately, I had no outlet for my rage. Instead, it simmered and stewed within, nearly eating me alive from the inside out.
What I have always had, however, is my own fortitude and passion. Reflecting deeply on my own place of bee-ing, I began to take notice that days would pass by when I would hardly smile. I began to recognize my own false mask, the one I would don for the camera or for public appearances. Yet, when I looked closely into the reflecting glass on my own eyes, what I saw there was opaque and apathetic. It hurt and, yet, acknowledging my sadness was a step in the right direction.
"Okay, Cara," I said to myself. "You can continue to choose to focus on all the $hit that is Fu%$#@-up, or you can focus your gaze on a vision that you firmly believe in. On a path that holds people, art, agriculture, celebration, community and faith, as its guiding light. And a future that feeds your Soul, deeply. Which one is it?"
Sitting in the office where I typed out my graduate school portfolio (entitled "Diving Into Embodiment") of the home that I shared with my then boyfriend, I distinctly recall this conversation with myself. It was a palpable shift, and there has been no looking back ever since. That was in the late winter/early spring of 2009, and the time that has continued to flow under the bridge has been glorious. Sure, there remains life experiences filled with heartache and mistakes. What is different about this now is that the pain and sadness are all par for course. Rather than trying to elude or hide from the inevitable, I now try to embrace and allow for all things to exist in their own way. Even ME. (Sometimes, my way is hard-headed, over-the-top passionate and critically constructive. And, c'est la vie.)
So, today, I marvel at the path that has led me here, now. At the shocking similarities as well as sharp differences between myself and others, between this year and last, between love and fear. I honor each trusted step forward. WE feel where we are leading. Our vibrant hearts are brilliantly keeping the pulse as we reclaim our lost beat - to our selves, to each other and to this planet Earth, the only home we have ever known. Now is Our Time. Our Story is Unfolding. We are the Ones we have been waiting for.
