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| My Power |
It's strange, I know you read these typed words, yet I don't always know who "you" are. Sometimes, I wonder if my ex reads this blog - which would be ironic because, when we were together, my fluency with the written word intimidated him. I type this because, after reflecting upon just a touch of what he taught me a few posts back, he recently reached out to tap in. He just became engaged - of which I am whole-heartedly happy about. At 38, this bold move of his is inspiring him to take other big steps in his life - like finally making that trip to China. And, again, I am grateful. Whatever it takes. However, he's a powerful man who is in tune with the Universe and the Earth. From the start of our relationship seven years ago, I would just have to think of him and he'd call. Deeply intuitive, he could read me and any situation like the back of his hand. Thus, he doesn't have to read me to feel me.
So, we met up for Pho because he wanted to be sure that the dogs - our dogs - would be taken care of during his travels. And I marveled at how our relationship is evolving. For a long time, I didn't think I could be friends with my ex but now I'm beginning to see the light. I gotta admit that I am hoping for life to work out the way that I've been working towards. I miss my dogs. Raising Power taught me so much about the simplicity of interaction. I watched him run up to strangers and ask for what he wanted (which is always attention) and, truth be told, I've copied his lack of fear ever since. Power has these eyes that are pure, clear and so-much-more-than-just-an-"animal." He is one of my truest friends and I await the day when we are living together once more - just as it should be.
Last night, sadness visited me and it had been awhile since I had felt an emptiness within. Although I am great at being alone, it's not really what I want. My whole being desires, needs to live in community - with my dogs, with people of all ages and backgrounds, with Love. So, I've been working towards creating space for more of us to bee together and I am hoping that this new time - of Mayan prophecy & 2012 - brings exactly that. Relationships aren't easy, yet I find the loyalty that comes with long-term engagement to be one of the most rewarding and gratifying experiences in my short life. As Gina says, "Relationship is the essence that feeds our Soular Power." Indeed.
I guess I'm also hoping that next time around I'll swing into the middle ground. After my ex, I found myself loving the opposite extreme of someone who has to read me to feel me. Yet, power seems to surround this relationship too because no matter where I go people have to fill me in on this Other without any pre-emption from me and I think, "WTF?"
I'm not a hippie, by the way.
I'M A WITCH!
