Disappointed and let down
my expectations were not met.
I wanted to transcend
my humanity.
I wanted to touch grace,
feel saintliness
and Be.
I wanted to find it, in a circle
in small communion
wrapped tight within
the sheltering confines
of a downtown, art building.
Nirvana did not hit.
Enlightenment was not found.
No paradise gained
nor heaven experienced.
(It was
only and ever,
this.)
So, i tried my best
and offered, when i could, love
support, touch and contact
i spoke words
of encouragement and positivity
and then
i headed out the door
up the hill and on my way
to my daily ritual
of walking, breathing, feeling, listening, sensing and seeing
the Golden Hill around me.
Gethro stopped me first.
With his Bob Marley beats and blankets hanging on the metal wire,
of a fenced in, cement-lined, city block,
like sheets blowing gently on a clothesline.
"What'd you do to Sam?" he inquired.
He schooled me on his morning practice,
of pen-etched sketches drawn in his
hand-held, children's diary
with silver lock.
A day after Christmas
and the well-wishers
and singular day of Atoners
had disappeared.
All that remained
was a concrete jungle,
black and whites perusing the streets,
and people emerging from fitful slumber.
She saw me, first.
Like a moth to a flame, she was pulled towards me.
"Merry Christmas, " she slurred.
"To you to," I merrily chirped.
Her arms came away from her chest, she spread them wide
inviting me in for a hug.
A black eye was near to healed,
her broken and deformed nose was almost straight.
"He did this to me," she said.
"I went to the cops.
I thought he was my friend."
Looking deep into her glazed eyes, i offered all i could,
"Stay away from him. He is not your friend."
Our paths diverged.
Emotion finally hit, and i breathed in ~ on feeling.
"YESssss," i felt,
"THIS IS IT."
(A HUGE and heart felt "Thank YOU" & deep gratitude to the almost-thirty members of our CommUnity who came in and out of our Underground Hive's doors, over the course of this past weekend. Also, to Aubrey Kelly and her phenomenal Watsu skills - it was my Be-ing plunged, underwater without any effort by me, that allowed me to experience the slowing down of time - the oozing and melting into a primal fluidity that my thirsty spirit had been craving.)
(And, afterward, i could only drive up to 30mph on these city streets!!!!)
You have all helped to revive my ailing spirit!!! ~~~~ Merci Merci Merci
