It is only recently that I have been learning how to love others. Which is ironic, because what I have always sought comes back to me tenfold when I freely offer it. Yes, love begets love. Learning how to love, though, is difficult, painful work. Naturally, it has been my community - my brothers and my sisters here in San Diego County, who are not my blood relations but who are my spiritual guides on dance floors across our shared hOMe - who have been teaching me over the course of the past four years. I am so eternally grateful for them, for you.
As Sally recently told me, "You have only recently learned how to give, Cara." And, she's right. For love is not about taking. It isn't about how much attention, or anything else for that matter, one accrues. Love is in the offering - of shared food, of shared moments in time spent listening with one's whole be-ing, of shared presence, of holding space for whatever the moment elicits. Love is also in the listening to one's self - to have the courage to walk away or to even stop listening when the exchange is not reciprocal, positive or feeding a higher vibrational good. Love is in the small exchange of thank you's, appreciation and the sweet words of positive encouragement and feedback. Yes, love can also be brutally candid and honest. We need to hold each other to higher standards and have the courage to admonish one another when the darkness is too pervasive - when it is creeping towards swallowing the lightness of our be-ings.
I still dance and wrestle with my own darkness. And, it's okay. Because I am learning how to love even this. I am flawed and I am human. I am imperfect and vulnerable. I do not wish my shadows away. For they are a part of me. The question, then, becomes: how can I continue to harness compassion - for myself, first and foremost, and for others? How can I learn to let go when I fall for the absolutely wrong man and, instead, allow myself to be loved by someone who can, and wants to, meet me in the middle? How can I learn to dig deeper, breathe and love even when someone triggers my defenses, intentionally pushes my buttons and tries hard to sway me from my resolve? It isn't easy, friends. And, I am still making plenty of mistakes. But, for once in my life, I am committed. I am committed to PROSPERITY - both my own and ours. I am committed to finding the middle ground between the abundance of our American ways and the lack found at the root of our western dogma. Sometimes, this PROSPERITY merely looks like a sweet smile offered to a stranger on these downtown San Diego streets. Other times, it looks like an extension of my warm hand in offering an introduction, a name and a face. "Hi, I'm Cara." Most of time time, however, PROSPERITY is the recognition that what we have - in this moment, right n-o-w - is ENOUGH. No more, no less. This is it. And, this is all it may ever be.
Can you live with that?
If not, then do what your body, mind and spirit needs n-o-w!
Feed it. So, that you may die comfortably.
Acknowledging your death, which could be right here, right n-o-w,
is the freedom and the liberation for you to fully LIVE n-o-w.
YESssss, live fully and
know
I LOVE YOU.
