"Your faith was strong, but you needed proof,
you saw her bathing on the roof,
her beauty and the moonlight
overthrew ya.
She tied you to a kitchen chair,
she broke your throne
and cut your hair,
and from your lips she drew a Hallelujah.
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah,
Hallelujah."
This is a tale that I haven't quite told yet. It's about Love, which I seem to endlessly wax and wane upon. I don't know what "it" is, and yet my whole life vibrates upon it. I recently read Victor Villaseñor's newest novel, Lion Eyes - the title alone of which holds a lot of synchronicity for my own life - and I cried my eyes out the whole time.
I didn't purge endless tears because the non-fiction tale is sad and heart-breaking. To the contrary, it is a head-spinning adventure of light and positivity. Rather, I cried copious, fat tears because, at its heart, it's a story about a courageous man and the beautiful woman who was born to love him. "It's written in the stars," she pronounced as a child when first experiencing her man's noble spirit.
So, I cried and cried and cried. And, I cried and cried and cried some more. In this era, when I feel so much pressure to move through the world as a strong and self-assured woman, it's a little embarrassing to be completely forthright about my honest feelings. Yes, it's this kind of devotion that my bee-ing beats for. Ultimately, it's why I left my last relationship. I would find myself mourning silent tears because I was staying in a union that wasn't true to what my heart has always known is my truth. Yes, the stars have also always told me that my Divine counterpart is here, on this planet, now. I have many, YES! And, I firmly believe in a core nucleus that comes together, each burning with their own bright genius, to generate even more nuclear fusion, aka LIFE.
Sometimes, I question if this is all just the brainwashing of my fairy tale loving culture. Yet, I know it's not - because I'm not looking to be saved. I can, do and have saved my Self - thank you very much. Rather, I'm looking for you to not just show up and do the same but to step up higher and make manifest glory for all living creatures on this planet in whatever little way that you can.
Then, I'll kneel down at your feet. I'll jump into your arms and squeal when I see your lovely face. I'll rub my scent all over you as I claim and mark my territory. My BodyMind will tell US that this union is meant to be - divined through space and time - and all you will have to do is receive, accept and hold space.
Apparently, "Hallelujah" is a song loosely based on the Biblical tale of Samson & Delilah, but I think their timeless love story runs deeper than this topically told narrative. I think those words above, sang most profoundly by Jeff Buckley, hit the nail on the head. We all need someone - like the Goddesses Kali Ma, Durga, Sekhmet, and so many more, represent - who is willing to puncture our pretenses of Ego so that we may touch the Divine and trust in that which is unseen, in the mystery of the Universe and in the unfolding of life and love by simply believing deeply. Because it's when we tap into this that we each toss our hands to the sky and exclaim, "Hallelujah!"
As for me, I am still following my dream, as well as totem ~ the eyes of the Mountain Lion enjoyed a setting, autumn equinox, full moon as well as a rising sun with me last year out on sacred land in East San Diego County. Here's the blog story I wrote about that experience.
Yes, it is all unfolding according to divine perfect order. All I have to do is remain consistent. Until then, cultivate your unwavering faith. You don't have to see it to BELIEVE. YOU JUST HAVE TO BEE. Breathe it in, now. And, allow for the idea that maybe there is someone here who you were born to LOVE.
