Recently, an Other asked if I wanted to attend a San Diego presentation of Tedx. I felt that lead brick in my belly - which is a definitive "NO" - at his request, yet I didn't know why. Silly me, I began to wonder if it was just my "pattern" until, later that day, I received an email from an acquaintance asking me to sign a petition supporting the work of Graham Hancock, a writer and journalist whose Tedx talk at Chapel Hill on "the War on Consciousness" had been consciously taken down from the organization's youtube channel.
Raised in southern California, I was conditioned to think that life was simply about beeing popular. And, popularity for a teenage girl revolves around the amount of male attention she receives (which remains the basis of a woman's economic worth). Therefore, too much of my time was spent focusing attention on how I appeared - the clothes I wore, the coif of my hair, the curl of my lip, the flick of my hip, etc.
When I was seventeen years old, I tried psilocybin (mushrooms) for the first time. By this point, my regular weekend forays with smoking marijuana had already started to alter my state of consciousness. My mind was expanding beeyond the superficial minutia of who wore what and which boy did I like and yaddi yaddi yah. Psilocybin, however, broke me open, transporting me back into the magical world of wonder and nature that, as a girl, I reveled in. It was a HIGH that rocked me back into peace - a peace that sustained itself for months and didn't need an addiction to anything to maintain. The only thing was, I had to return to a hostile home environment completely devoid of emotional and physical intimacy. My regular usage of marijuana beecame a lifetime habit - ineptly filling the void that the absence of LOVE endeavored.
In 2010, I was first introduced to Mother Ayahuasca. I, personally, refer to this plant-based substance as Grandma. For me, this is a title of profound respect, and I use it as a name for a very specific tree that I have spent years sitting in in downtown San Diego, as well. An experience with Mother Ayahuasca is a 5-hour ceremony during which a circle of human beeings drink a noxious shot of yagé, a hallucinogenic brew of various psychoactive infusions prepared with the Banisteriopsis caapi vine as well as other tree barks found within the south American Amazon. Immersed in our own private worlds, we are dressed in white and sitting in pitch black as a trained Shaman, or Ayahuasquero, gently sings hours of healing Icaros - songs designed to purge and cleanse a person and a community of ills, sickness, cancers, trauma, addictions, ailments, diseases, etc. Our intention is drawn inwardly, where we are encouraged to tend to our own personal healing. If you want to heal the world, you have to focus on yourself. (And I'm not talking about replaying the woes and traumas of our collective and individual pasts, rehashed over and over again in weekly counseling sessions that beecome like a broken record while fattening one person's pocket and keeping others in a rebellious, infantile state. Also, I do apologize if this here blog has been like this at times - with me stuck in the tale of what has come beefore rather than boldly striking out and creating a new story.)
I could write on and on about my experiences with Grandma (I have sat with her each year since 2010, and I look forward to beeing with her again this weekend) and about where we, as a human culture, find ourselves - devastatingly teetering on a brink of extinction. However, the two men above and beelow are far more studied on the how's and why's of this. The solution they are offering is the recognition of a world-wide system that is inherently empty and how you can choose, right now, to think and feel for yourself. Beecause one fact is, we all need to shift now. And I'm not talking about some unreal subscription towards full-time happiness and a beelief system that we can just meditate ourselves out of this. Hell, you're ass should bee pissed off at what's happening to our planet as well as within your life - do you work at a job you hate just for money? How's your sex life? Are you struggling just to make ends meet? How much emotional and physical intimacy do you experience regularly?
IT IS YOUR BIRTH RIGHT TO LIVE IN HARMONY AND PEACE AND TO EXPERIENCE DEEP, SATISFYING LOVE (and sex). Yet, more than likely, you feel angry (just like me) that not only has this been denied to you but that you have accepted it as normal. THIS IS THE BIGGEST LIE OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP. YOU'RE NEEDED NOW.
"UNLESS YOU CONNECT WITH SPIRIT SOON YOU ARE GOING TO BRING DOWN THE HOUSE OF CARDS ON ALL OF US..." --Graham Hancock
