I spent four, formal years training my body, re-patterning it
and developing new pathways for movement within, from and around it,
yet I graduated feeling heartbroken,
and unable to vulnerably express that I was amiss because I literally could not hold long, extended
ballet poses without, within seconds, faltering over in one direction or another. As an undergraduate college student, I had not yet learned how to move from my center.
It wasn't until, years later, when I was using my bicycle to manuever up these SD city hills -
coupled with a Bikram's yoga practice - that I discovered that twisting motion of turning-a-door-knob at-one's-belly-button, as well as the-gritting-one's-teeth-and-baring-down feeling, that is being centered.
But then there's the emotional application of balance as well and, well,
I kinda got really far
off
balance
whoops!
when? how? who? what? where? why?
lots of reasons, excuses and pitfalls
and maybe most of all
because I am human.
So, now, I equalize my flow. Because
I feel a tilt in an unhealthy direction - today,
my adrenaline spiked. "Pow!" I am pissed.
"Cara, you're exhausted," my caring, inner parent assures me.
"Rarrrrrrr...." my tweaked neck rages.
So, I reconnect to ME, channeling my energy, intention and attention
in a forward direction. For I am also a builder.
Let's build.
