b-r-E-a-K-in-g patt-ern
it's a common theme.
I noticed it on the Facebook feed this morning.
Others attesting as to how they are breaking the patterns -
of negative thinking, of holding back from making their offerings to the world, etc.
Last Sunday, One of my besties was holding another Sistar accounatable -
"I am questioning you because I feel you are repeating a pattern here," she said.
In those moments, as I bore witness to the discomfort that arose from both pushing an edge
and having an edge pushed, I simply sat in silence, wondering:
"what patterns am I repeating here and now?"
Although the desire to ask my bestie this question tickled at my throat,
I refrained because 1.) life isn't always about me and 2.) I trust my inner knowing to answer this
question for itself. Time reveals all.
My exhaustion, of late, has been all consuming. I've been wondering, "why?' Aside from the obvious, the answer that came yesterday was that, for thirty-six years I have been push, push, pushing, to find my place - my Soul family with whom I can truly JUST BEE and where not only is there no hushing, shushing, guilting, competing, shaming or blaming coming back in my direction but there is active celebration of our collective WILDNESS. Also, there is death here too for, in the process, I have released all those and that which no longer serves - not as a pushing away or in angry resentment, but simply as a "Thank you, Teacher for all of your lessons. I'll see you when I see you."
Better yet, is that I am here with another magical, dark feminine sistar and her three, gorgeous girls - a future for this planet. In their company, they both watch me just beeing and they receive my embodied teaching. No matter what they do, or how they beehave - moody, selfish, loud, bratty, annoying, silly, hillarious, whiny, whimsical, funny hair in side ponytails, etc - the reflection that always comes back is of acceptance and gentle nudges in a positive direction. As a Priestess yesterday said, "the best we can do is to EMBODY it." (In regards to anything we want to "do.")
And I am learning to really just embrace that THIS IS IT! and that this is perfect. And, maybee, my future to come doesn't look anything like I envisioned it. Perhaps, it is not a golden family that I have created all by myself, or the this or the that. As another powerful sistar recently typed me, in regards to her now having to move out of our last house:
"I haven't found a new place yet and I bounce back and forth in feelings of uncomfortable uncertainty and trust for new awesomeness to come in. I also noticed that I have to let go of any expectations or biased beliefs of how this awesomeness might look like. I just notice this. My idea was that the new home would be spacious, close to the ocean, beautiful garden... all these THINGS. But I started wondering if that already is a limitation. You know? Oftentimes, the most wonderful surprises and situations DO NOT wear a glamorous mask. You find the wonder at a second, a deeper glance. So, I try to let go of preconceived ideas of what I THINK is the best place to move into for me and just start practicing to relax more into the vibration of trust that whatever will come is exactly what I need at this time."
TRUST. RELAX.
WHATEVER COMES IS PERFECT.
NOW, BEE WITH THAT.
