Physically & emotionally exhausted,
I wanted to cry and scream my eyes out
like the almost-one-year-old whom I share a hOMe with is so good at doing.
Taking myself to bed, I rocked and held me,
getting those crying wheels churning, making the sounds,
praying for the fluid release. It's a slow coming.
From every angle, I'm rippling across the edges.
There are even reflections here that I haven't even met in person yet.
"I need to meet with you," he says, "Bee careful around July 29-31st.
Your astrological chart is stormy. Stay away from danger."
Well, the hurricane already hit home, I thought, as I contemplated his warning.
In the end, however, my choice is always the same
to LIVE AS FULLY AS I CAN NOW ~
I'd rather die than not try.
"No fear. LOVE," I responded back.
"I need to meet with you," he asks. "NEED?" I think - this just doesn't feel in alignment with my inner knowing.
And my phone is dead and outta batteries because you borrowed my cell phone charger and brought back the wrong one, even though you released your veiled wrath on me for doing the same thing to you. I just laugh in response. Ha, ha, ha. What else is there to do?
After spending another night together, I choose to linger in your bed - I know not why - and then your ex-girlfriend comes pounding on the front door, popping her head right in the bedroom window when her knock goes unanswered. "What's your name?" she demands, as I lay there partially naked, smirking at all of this humor. "Can you open the front door?" she asks. "No," I say, "I am not interested in creating drama." So, you go off to tend to your soap opera as I neatly remake your bed then stride back to my Treehouse. And all I can do is to laugh in response. Ha ha ha. Oh Universe, you work in such mysterious ways!
Currently, all this constriction and contraction is doing is making me turn inward, go deeper, show up and strike out for my passionate purpose. If you want me to stop, your best bet is not to ignore me but to make it too easy. Though, last night, as I lay in my California King, I smiled deeply and chuckled at the seeds I sowed this week. "Ai," I thought to myself, "there's no backing down now, Cara," I thought, as a tingle of nervous energy swirled in my belly. And, all I can do is laugh.
"LET ME GO, LET ME GO. LET ME GO And
I
will
want
you..."
