Arriving into the park where Grandma sits, I laid my frustrated body down on the sun-warmed grass.
Melting into the late summer day, I released any tension that my still re-wiring process endeavors.
Looking up towards Grandma's 100+ year old branches, dozens of dragonflies floated on the afternoon breeze. "So many dragonflies!" I exclaimed, gazing up and at the shimmering creatures. "For two and a half years, this park and this tree have been the foundation of my personal practice and not once I have had this experience before," I think, as I also re-member a night from earlier this week when, laying on your bed, I looked at the two dragonfly sculptures you have affixed to your wall and said, "I didn't know you had those."
Seemingly moments later, a truck that looks a lot like yours drives around the circular street, with two dogs in the back that also look coincidentally familiar. And, I just laugh. Oh Universe, you work in such mysterious ways. I wander up to where you're throwing dog toys, my timidity mirrroring your own. Soon, my High Priestess O. strolls up, as well. She's had a similar day, with the start of her menses and the stress of single parenthood. "My mother's name is also O.," you say, as I just stare at you with a complete look of astonishment. Oh Universe, I wish you could please speak to me directly instead of with all of these omens, signs and synchronicity!!!!!
"Dragonfly medicine is about the breaking of illusions, especially those
illusions that prevent growth and maturity. Dragonfly is the bringer of visions
of power. Flighty and carefree dragonflies symbolize whirlwind, swiftness and
activity."
Spending the night wrapped tight within the magical comfort of girls, my feet follow the brood. Eventually, we fall into our sisterhood. "What is the illusion that we are suffering under and that we need to break?" I keep inquiring, as we sit face to face. "What is the illusion?" I press.
"As for "him," to me he represents the Wild Masculine. Personally, it's a deep, psychic healing to offer him my Divine Feminine Love And, he is AFRAID. He keeps telling me so, and I can feel it." "So, what am I afraid of? Why? And, what is my fear keeping me from experiencing?" We sat in comfortable repose, silently chewing on so much meaning.
Eventually, we lay down together on your pull out bed. Pleasantly surprised to find myself sinking into sleep, I've released the illusion that I am addicted to my own bed and pillow. In the morning, before your 5-year-old crawls under the covers next to you, I DREAM AGAIN ABOUT A SNAKE. This time, I grab it by the head and comfortably wield it as it stretches its jaw open and bares its sharp teeth. I carry it a distance and place it in a bag, but my mother's appearance in my dream somehow makes me lose contact with the serpent and creates some confusion. In waking time, however, it was only recently that I came to understand that my mother's rage was and is deeply tied to her absolute disconnect to her Wild Feminine. And, all I can do is LISTEN AND WONDER.
