"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing,
your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.
You cannot control what happens to you in life,
but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you."
---from Victor E. Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning
M. is back! YAY! My sistah is hOMe. Last night, we talked, shared, communicated and more, just as we did in Las Raices. She spent the past month living back with her parents up in north eastern San Diego, where rural hillsides are full of grazing horses, wild flowers and cumulus clouds. "I cried the night before, wishing my parents were more like this - engaging in deep soul talk and interpersonal growth. Instead, they are emotionally shut down. I think I am going to have a conversation with my mother about it," she shared. "Reflect on your "why" and for "what purpose," I encouraged. Together, M. and I are sharing a room and a bed and - I just gotta admit - it's my preferred way of bee-ing. Sure, it would bee ideal if I were sharing this with my One Beeloved, however I will share everything with my soul familia, any day! Life is meant to be shared. The American way of self-imposed isolation as well as thinking that we are entitled to an energetically impenetrable 5' bubble is, quite frankly, killing us. (In more ways than one.)
L. and I have also been reflecting quite a bit on co-dependency and it's been interesting to honestly witness how my co-dependent tendencies play out. On Sunday, I actively practiced giving LOVE from a distance to two very specific individuals who I know, from experience, I can not LOVE up close and in person. It was tough in that I felt "guilty" for not offering the LOVE that my heart yearns to offer everyone. Yet, I am committed to sharpening the many-faceted sides of LOVE, which includes my Divine Masculine's ability to protect and defend both myself as well as my community. I also slept rock hard last night, while REM kept my dream life vivid and moving. Currently detoxing from my abuse of a specific "medicine," my body is reclaiming its natural rhythms. YES!
Last night, M. said to me, "Cara, I want you to authentically tell me whenever you feel hurt or out of alignment with something that has happened in our relationship." "M," I responded. "I feel so safe in our sisterhood that, of course, I will share with you what is going on with me, internally." I also relayed to her an email that I had just received in which another sister communicated that she felt "bitter" by something she heard I did. I said to M, "You would have to do something pretty gnarly for me to ever feel bitter in regards to you." No one can make us "feel" anything. How we respond in every given moment is a choice. Yes, there will be times when we get hurt - because it's LIFE - but why hold on to the pain? LET IT GO. Take everything you're offered as a GIFT, a LESSON TO LEARN AND MOVE ON. Forgive. Release bitterness. Life is short. Let your heart fly free.
