"If you tell the truth it becomes the past,
if you tell a lie it becomes the future."
Recent experiences have illuminated for me that WE'RE ALL CRAZY.
INCLUDING ME.
And, this awareness, has deepened my regard for some of those whom I am closest to.
With this realization has come the full permission to let go of any remaining walls around my heart so that I am fully showing up to the relationships that are my most regenerative and truest in exchange. Just this week, I told my best friend that my life would suck without her - and, it would. The intuitive hit that keeps filling my BodyMind is how important it is that I show, not just tell, my LOVE for and to these others often. The story of beeing taken advantage of is over - so, I do what I can to reciprocate all that I am being given (which is beyond measure). It is the least I can do.
I am honest in my telling because I want the past to bee over and done with. Thus, I am willing to sit with the heaviness of all of my missteps. The thing about our mistakes, however, is that there is no such thing. Each moment indelibly adds up to the next (if we let it) - the year of the Dragon taught me this much. What is vital, though, is our ability to bee with the discomfort that our perceived f*ck-ups can create. Sitting in it is the hardest part - so, just admit to it! "I feel really uncomfortable because...." (for example: "I signed my name to all of those graduate school loans knowing full well that I would not comfortably be able to make monthly payments for some time." Or, "I had sex with you because it was a biological need of mine, not because I have any interest in engaging with you on a deeper level." Etc. Yes, the truth hurts AND it sets us free.)
I beelieve that one way forward is if we all just honor and recognize that the whole world is crazy and that life "outside" is fu$ked up. This isn't to imply that it isn't perfect and beautiful, as well, because it is. The nature of Life lived on this planet is a dualistic one - there is no light without shadow. This doesn't mean that we attack it with our swords and sabers held high, either. Rather, let's just accept the paradox as being the true creator of all of this indelible beauty and move forward from here. "Out beyond wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." --Rumi
