“Dreaming that love will save us, solve all of our problems
or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful
fantasy, undermining the real power of the love – which is to transform
us.” --John Welwood, Journey of
the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love
“Cultivating a generous heart is the primary quality of an
awakened mind.” --Sharon Salzburg
--Deepak Chopra, The Path to Love
“A good number of men simply decide not to commit themselves
because they cannot face dealing with the emotional pain of love and the
conflict it engenders.” -- Guy
Corneau, Lessons in Love
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“Like so much else, people have also misunderstood the place
of love in life, they have made it into play and pleasure because they thought
play and pleasure was more blissful than work; but there is nothing happier
than work, and love, just because it is the extreme happiness, can be nothing
else but work...” --Rainer Maria Rilke
from bell hooks', All About Love: New Visions
“When the practice of love invites us to enter a place of
potential bliss that is at the same time a place of critical awakening and
pain, many of us turn our backs on love.”
Pg. 114
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“Realistically, being part of a loving community does not
mean we will not face conflicts, betrayals, negative outcomes from positive
actions, or bad things happening to good people. Love allows us to confront these negative realities in a
manner that is life-affirming and enhancing.” Pg. 139
“Women are often belittled for trying to resurrect men who choose lovelessness
in order to bring them back to life and to love.
These men are, in fact, the real sleeping beauties. We might be living in a
world that would be even more alienated and violent if caring women did not do
the work of teaching men who have lost touch with themselves how to live
again. This labor of love is
futile only when the men in question refuse to awaken, refuse growth. At this point, it is a gesture of
self love for women to break their commitment and move on.” Pg. 160
“If I were asked the single most frequent cause of the
destruction of relationships…I would say it is selfishness. We live in an age of narcissism and
many people have never learned or have forgotten how to listen to the needs of
other. The truth is, if you want
to make just one change in yourself that will improve your relationship –
literally, overnight – it would be to put your partner’s interest on an equal
footing with your own.” Pg. 163
“When we commit to true love, we are committed to being
changed, to being acted upon by the beloved in a way that enables us to be more
self-actualized. This commitment
to change is chosen. It happens by
mutual agreement…True love is unconditional, but to truly flourish it requires
an ongoing commitment to constructive struggle and change.” Pg. 185
