Perhaps, this language of mine - this espousing upon an agreed upon middle ground
where a vibrant utopia is awaiting our discovery - has been deceptive.
Perhaps, I've been trying too idealistically to meet at some elusive meeting place where an
agreed-upon compromise - as to how to simply talk, connect and re-member how to be human together, again - has been met.
Because, I'm done with perpetuating ideas of love and compassion
as unconditional acceptance.
I'm done with blindly pulling the wool over my own eyes.
I'm done pretending that your not showing up in the highest of your expression doesn't hurt.
Because it does.
It cuts deeply when you refuse to step out from the dim lights of the bar. It pains me when you choose to remain in your stagnant repose, like a scarecrow on his post. It kills me, over and over again, when you keep choosing to knock your thick head against the same closed door while hoping for a different result. So, instead, I've finally decided to demand more of you.
Not because I do not empathize with your suffering. Of course I do - of course I have been there as well. For you are me...
I have simply realized that I wish those who had been closest to me in my life would have kicked me harder in the butt when I was so enmeshed in my own pain that I couldn't see straight. When I was so consumed by my own fear, that I gave away too many precious moments, hours, days and years.
So, I'm done trying to meet you, wherever you are
because I've finally decided that there are certain places where I can simply no longer tread.
I am discovering that the more I fill my own soul cup up, the more effort is required when I am in situations and environments that feel draining of my life force and vital energy.
Because this time n-o-w demands that we each,
that all of us, show up in the fullest of our humanity.
So, I hope you will see me and that you will be inspired to take to a dance floor, wildly, as we fling off all of our hopes and our dreams for our lost yesterdays and our coming tomorrows.
I hope you'll see me and want to talk about what moves you, about what your heart says and how you are going to serve others by offering your talents to the world. Because we need you.
We need you in the fullest of your potential. We need you at the highest of your vibration.
And, I need you. I need you to show up - fully - because when you do, you make me look good. And, as you can tell, I am quite the narcissist.
So, this is my new version of compassion and love for these radical 21st century times.
And, I like to think - in my heart of hearts - that this is compassion at its finest.
I LOVE YOU, damn it. Where are You? Your absence - your wandering mind, your disconnected body and your parched soul - is like a knife wound to my being. Your refusal stabs and punctures me.
Don't You See?
Let Go Of Your Fears..
N-O-W.
