I wasn't sure what I was going to write about tonight.
Nothing I could think of felt "right."
I guess I was feeling a bit off, myself.
Sitting with all of the movement that remains ongoing is quite a task.
We're soaking up the remaining days of our time spent together at Las Raices and I am going to miss my daily intimacies with both Has & Mari. (As Has dropped me off in North County today, I reflected on how Kenzie's departure two-months back feels like a lifetime ago now.) The three of us have been around our shared Victorian over the past few days of merry, holiday cheer.
Bringing one of them along with me to a sweet Xmas eve dinner where Has, with her Armenian background and lawyer title, was quite the popular guest. ; ) After playing countless rounds of singles and doubles indoor volley-soccer (a soon-to-be Olympic sport), we retired to the 'fancy room' where we read to each other our character makeup defined by our individual days of birth as located on the Mayan calendar.
There's such a poignancy to this now - a deep sense of both change and constancy. "Destiny," I like to call it and, naturally, it's written in the stars for me to seek out both dreamtime as well as my soul mates. My reading advised that I pay attention to and record my dreams. "I've been intuitively doing that since I was a little girl," my insides chimed in response.
So, that night, I dreamed about an owl-like human, who was sitting on a panel of judges or experts for some thing but I could not recall what or why. What I did remember, however, is how, when I was introduced to the large owl creature, I immediately wanted to share with my waking friends what I was dreaming about, right then and there. Next came a baby snake and my desire to once again be bitten - I wanted initiation, rebirth! Wielding the snake like a short whip, I was in the act of self-flagellation. (The symbolism of this dream feels quite clear to me now that I am writing about it.)
I've simply never believed that anything is "random," or without meaning. There's purpose to all of it and the more I attune my senses to the mystery of all that is, the more I am absolutely bowled over by the magnificence, LOVE and brilliance of the Universe. It happened tonight. Currently, I am in a "funky" place - located somewhere between all that has come before and all that is to come, I am hovering over 'the Brink' that I first wrote about in my 2009 graduate thesis. So, I am driving near Calaveras, where I was bitten by that snake in March, and the theme for "Footloose" comes over the airwaves of the radio station that I am "haphazardly" flipping across.
Focusing on my writing of late, I've specifically written about this song - about how it first came into my life. I will share this with you soon. What I will type is that, when I heard it tonight, my bodymind was flooded with sensations. Tears welled up in my eyes because I felt as though I was receiving the most beautiful gift - an invisible pat on the back, saying, "Yes, Cara, you are in tune"- and I felt all of the embodied memories of this lifetime now - the confusion and the chaos, the pain and the trauma, as well as all of the splendid celebration, the dance and the song, the sweet laughter and the beautiful light. The miracle of movement! So, I rocked out as hard as I could, sitting there behind the driving wheel and I remembered it all!!!!!!!
