Cray-cray.
You straight crazy.
Yeah, that's right.
You.
Sitting right there.
Reading this.
This is what today showed me -
that we are all a lot bit crazy.

At first, I wanted to feel that it's all HIM
he's the crazy one
he's the manic depressive bi-polar
energy shooting out and crashing down
and running off in tangents
and not focused on the present
moment HIM

Then, I wondered about ME
why am I attracting this energy to me
what am I putting out into the world
that this current comes around, full force
solid flow of cray cray crazy mind diseased
making up stories in the head bombarding with texts
and calls and emails and whew!

I just need to breathe.

That's all.

My friends, they wonder openly about my love
"You have too much patience, Cara," M. says
as I try to breathe deeper into compassion.
"This isn't your lesson to learn," K told me on Sunday.
"And, this is what I've called in," I respond, as I allow myself to receive the
help with clarifying and communicating my boundaries that I asked for.
(Even though I wasn't asking for what else has come.)
ALL MEDICINE CAN BEE SWEET AND SOUR,
a poison and a cure.  

Can I bee my own Doctor and regulate my own dosage?

"THIS IS MY DESTINY," I respond, "For I am a Connection Therapist,
what I do is Connect with others and my world travels through developing places where people come first taught me that there is always room for more.
Plus, every voice deserves to be heard, especially at my own table."

So, I spend today - doing crazy circles in my own mind as I force myself to sit still and try and use a tool that is not my strength to communicate with a collective consciousness and I am like a caged animal pacing strutting scratching sniffing calling.  My own craziness stares at me, right back full in the face - it's the compassion I was looking for all along.

Sometimes, I just need to breathe.
That's all.