$5 to my name and another month begins.
In so many ways, I am broken...
yet I know that I am not alone.
It's why I type here - yes, for my own process and practice and yes, because you are there,
leading and living a collective experience.
Still, I am so tired of my own lilting tune.
It's not why we are here.
We were born to live in harmony and to grandly
proclaim our unique morning songs, day after day.
Like the caracara bird, I too am resourceful and adaptable.
Yesssssss!
Thank you, Universe, for providing all of the lessons that have been needed to arrive here, now.
And, like this weekend demonstrated when I showed with my actions
that I am committed to the path of our Highest Good - which includes spacious loyalty from the space of LOVE - the Universe desires nothing more than to offer me it's shirt
right off of its back.
Even though it is sweaty and stained, it was offered in LOVE,
so I received as gratefully as I could - reveling in the serpents winding their way up the cartooned,
brand-named tee. I boasted a bit that I have never been able to do anything but follow my own heart. I wasn't quite as forthcoming about how it hasn't been "easy" and how, when I see photographs of myself, all I notice is the gray hair at the side of my head and even though it can represent wisdom, I simply see all of the tension and the worry that this material world can help to create.
I am hurting from holding my radiant heart song in. I speak of moving through short term pain so as not to perpetuate long term suffering, but I do not yet embody it. And I am dying in the process. My lungs are filled with blackness because I lack the courage to truly open up my mouth and sing. You can hear it in my cough - the sadness and grief is located there. And, I am writing this now because I figure that, maybee, if I allow myself to feel all of this; maybee if I just bee with my Self instead of rushing away; maybee if I acknowledge and give voice to all of this that is within me & that wants to bee expressed in the world, then maybee it will shift and I will change.
And It's not because I am not perfect as I am. I AM. I AM. It's because, even as I have learned to LOVE myself as I am, in all of my weakness and folly, my mistakes and vulnerabilities, I have also attuned my eyes and my senses to the myriad of POSSIBILITIES that are and that continuously exist. It is only I who refrains from exploding and blooming with the potent opportunities that this now affords. The nutritious pollen within me is crying for release.... A gusty wind is picking up in the canyon.... May it spray my LOVE across space and through time.
