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There is much that I want to relay to you....
Even if we never look into each others' eyes in person, you are as real for me as the two, black and brown chickens, sitting watch and standing guard at the fence door of their spacious coop, right down the wooden steps from where I now sit perched, typing this while surrounded by cool, tree canopy.
Another FIRE has burned through 7,000 acres of San Diego forest. It started last Saturday and, as of yesterday, it was 70% contained. The casualties - of structures, native flora & wild animals - included the loss of an 80+year-old Shriner's Lodge, architecture that meant something to my Free Mason housemate who has been with the fraternal order for some time now. I lacked compassion and empathy for his loss because I LOVE the transformative flames - all must burn, so that it may bee re-born. The Life-Death-Life cycle is an inherent part and process of life on planet Earth. No thing may avoid it. In fact, it serves us all - to die - over and over again. And, literally, the San Diego fires of the past decade have served as the catalyst for my awakening - all of the incineration and regeneration have been the necessary reflection for deepening into my spirituality.
The strongest of our five chickens has now also taken to brooding. I had to move her milk crate from the coop to the ground and use a stick to pry her off of two eggs in order to get her moving into this new day. This morning, however, I wonder if these brilliant creatures are simply mirroring me. I am a serious brooder - I can sit and sit on my eggs, neglecting myself in the process by not showing up to receive my blessings (of food, resources, money, etc.) Of course, this is all metaphor - for I am super great at celebrating and reveling in the party of the present moment. Just as this month's Power Path calendar stated, it's about DISCIPLINE ~ how I am harnessing my creative passion by channeling it into a regenerative exchange as well as how I am offering myself the same LOVE that I give to the chickens as well as to others and the world around me. It's about bee-ing my own parent.
In the last few days, I have eagerly taken to my newest bed mate - a woman this time, Clarissa Pinkola Estes and her Women Who Run with the Wolves. It's not my first dance with her or her writing, however my appetite this time around is voracious. Her imagery, story and analysand has got me wielding my broom with gusto and flying off to the unseen. Perhaps, I will meet you there.
After three days of non-restful nights over the course of the past week, yesterday was catch-up. Finally. Thank God. Today, I awoke fresh from a dream in which there was a small string tied around a skin follicle in my nose. It was highly uncomfortable and I just wanted it out. Yet, I was hemming and hawing with the scissors in my hand. Then, "you" strode through the door and I was so grateful to see the father-figure that you represent. I ran up to you, elated, and begging for your help. I knew my relief was imminent.
DreamTime and Waking Time brews in this warm container known as ME. Lately, I have also been feeling "triggered" by my roommate and her response to how all of my brooding negatively affects her. Yet, how can I blame her? Instead, I am finally down on my knees and grateful that she is in my life - because she's right. ; ) All I did yesterday was walk out my front door to await the arrival of my Tantric Ballroom playmates and my neighbor heaped a pile of gifts - straight from his garden - into my arms. (Granted, him seeing me in heels a few weeks back was inspired impetus.) ; )
I have always been WILD. It is my nature, my blood, my very essence. I grew up playing in these San Diego coastal desert hills - in the "Skull" (Calavera) where I was bitten by a Rattlesnake just last year. And I have always run with the Wolves - my psychic, best friend saw my loyal, white wolf at my side. Like Dianna, Artemis and all those who have come before, I do not tread alone - a four-footed is always at my heels. I sensed this as a girl, but I didn't understand then what I know now.
For a long time, "fitting in" and coalescing all of this swirling energy has not been my forte, yet this NOW screams that I do exactly this. "BALANCE, Luv," is what I imagine "you" saying. A "you" who represents fierce, masculine sexiness to me. Contrary to my belief, however, "you" are not outside of me. You are here, now.
